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I share a computer with someone at work and we have our own little office. I just found out that our desk was moved out because I've been accused of and supposedly "caught" doing my hw on the job. The guy I share a desk with does his hw there off the clock but the motherfucker never closes anything or shuts the computer down. I come in the next morning and his project was up on one of my screens so i just left it there. HR guy walks in and sees it on the screen asks me "whats that" and I just say oh something the other du was working on. I guess he didn't believe me. Second time i just had my school email open waiting for an email from my advisor regrading classes . wasn't open on the screen it was just there in a tab.

What bothers me is that this happened awhile ago and both of the dudes who "caught" me have been smiling in my face acting like every things cool. telling me oh man good job we like what your doing keep it up. Why didn't they just straight up tell me so I could let them know what was going on or have a say in this shit. Now that i think about it, they've been sending a spy in on me but every time he came in, i was doing what i supposed to be doing so maybe that will help me. But he would joke around and act all chummy.

Fuck that. I want to confront them but I don't know if id be fuckin up in doing so. I haven't been there that long and quit my other job for this because I didn't want two jobs and an 18 unit semester. I kind of want to just let them know if they think I'm doing something wrong for them to tell me and not have some du in the office tell me oh they moved our desk cause they caught you grapevine type shit.

I don't know what the fuck to do. I thought everything was going well. now I'm guy they have to keep an eye on. And ill always be that guy because now that ill be moved they'll say oh well of course he's not getting caught because were watching him.

Fake ass (n)words.

edit: and oh on a side note, i know this is impossible because i always wait to do my hw the night before its due usually starting around 10pm because i'm on that procrastination tip. so i'm nowhere near work when i start my hw.

Fuck. I should of stayed in retail.

Setup a different login, and switch logins.

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Past few weeks I've been drinking everynight and just laying in my bed all day completely unmotivated to get up and do anything. Just completely stressed, depressed and, angry.

start working out man. it gets your head straight and balances out the depression from the drinking. if I didn't race bikes I would be an alcoholic or a drug addict.

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damn i feel like moving to sweden has made me softer. part of the reasons are that i needed a break, alcohol and everything is expensive, drugs more than expensive... but maybe it started before that. i became a lot more likeable this year i think. well i still cut sharp when i need to say what i think but i feel like i lost something.

i also met a girl who i spent everyday of the past 3.5 months with. i didn't know this kind of relationship existed and i feel like in high school again when i discovered love. time will tell but i think this is one of the best thing that has happened to me in quite a long time.

tbh i wanted to write something long and all but i don't have so much to confess i just feel good and should go to bed to sober up and not miss my flight tomorrow.

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I fucked up pretty badly with a girl i really really like, I was a little buggy over the phone/text and she was a little creeped out I think....And brushed me off.

Don't know if I still have a chance but whatever... Just hope It wont be awkward between us, we share one damn class

Lucky her friends aren't exactly in my circles


In other news I've procrastinated this entire years study into August next year, where we're supposed to catch up the years work. If i'm properly motivated during that time I know I can do it, but shit, should've done something now, right?

Edit: Should be doing something now, Right?


Edited by Eternal171
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what is 'buggy over the phone/text'

this is the lunch menu at my work cafeteria today, i am so pretty bored by the food options

Cream of Asparagus

$3.25 12oz

$3.75 16oz

Chef's Choice

Angus Beef Burger


French Fries


Roasted Vegetable Wrap


Steak and Onion Wrap


Jerk Chicken Breast


Roasted Potatoes


Pineapple Salsa


Edited by eggshell
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what is 'buggy over the phone/text'

I think she got the hint that I like her a little and she stopped acting super friendly and now just polite. hahaa kind of funny(and pathetic) a day later

i imagine that when he says he was "buggy", he means he was talking about putting actual bugs in her vagina. during sex.

Yeah i'm down with that too

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everyone is done exams and home for the holidays, so went to a party last night with old friends, etc

arrived with a few people including one of my best friends. he had stated about a year ago while we were on drugs that he is still a bit apprehensive of drinking with me due to an incident in high school where i was being an idiot and trying to fight people. we've drank plenty of times since that incident, but him saying that is still fresh in my mind.

last night was first time drinking with him in probably a year

he ends up getting completely wasted, daggering girls to the point of assault, and eventually getting sloppy enough that we had to carry him outside [he is football player so all of this is just obnoxious] and try to get a cab but drivers would take one look and then leave. ended up putting him to bed and he puked on himself, etc, etc

i was laughing the whole time, like a dickhead. felt a bit gratifying, but also i think everyone has been there and i didn't think his state was as big a cause for concern as some others did...

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Posted · Hidden by gettoasty, December 23, 2011 - No reason given
Hidden by gettoasty, December 23, 2011 - No reason given

to the girl who works at the postalannex next to SJSU part-time, you're super cute and i'm kicking myself for not getting your number.

you said i looked so young (looking at my ID), you made my day [year] (i feel old as fuck nowadays)

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I am very nice, harmonious, and tactful. Because the nature of my nature/nurture (lol) environments, my outward personality is quite self deprecating, play dumb, humble, and yielding to others, when it's no big deal, ie everyday conversations.

In my head, I know exactly what I'm doing though. currently some of my colleagues take me for a bitchass and actively calling me out as a dumb bitchass. When it comes to these manners - of personal pride and conflict, or areas I am passionate about, I am like a different person and I don't back down.

although my super-ego feels bad for putting bitches in their place, my id is supremely pleased. I am now aware of how aware i am. it kind of scares me to think i might be manipulative, a sociopathic, or just Asian.

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^ that;s funny. i feel like that too (asian)

this is for you mass:

real confession:

i feel fucking old.

i went to SJSU for the first time, living in the bay area for like 18+ years . . .

it brought back sweet memory of my days in college. the youth, the livelihood. nice campus too...i really liked the scene from my drive through downtown san jose

the girl working part-time was super cute, and for the first time, i was actually making small talk,

she thought i was really old (23) by the way i dressed, but saw my 5+ year old driver license and said i looked so young.i don't know why but it made me feel good/happy

super confession: she was grabbing my hand, trying to get all my fingers scanned onto the computer. i haven't had a girl's touch like that for...6months since my ex?

it made me really happy and i was able to make small talk for the first time without being a dork. there was no awkwardness at all. i fail miserably at reading signs b/c i think she was interested. i just walked out like a boss after kicking myself for not sealing the deal

super confession 2: i jotted down her name in my car after spotting it on the confirmation screen

she made my day...(i hope i don't get negged) redface.gif

Edited by gettoasty
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gettoasty: i know how you feel man. when you awkward/anxious all the time, the times you aint is pure euphoria :)

related superconfession: I've had issues w/ substance abuse and self-medicating that have to do w/ regulating anxiety. I am over it now tho (my angst lol). during that time I would actively tell ppl oh I have anxiety issues, but i can fake confidence. i'm having a hard time confessing that i probably made my problems all up. I rationalized that the world labeled my introvert/contemplative self as detrimental and something that needed to be fixed. so i did w/ the droogz

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I was drunk and put wasabi in my glass of pure malt nikka whisky yesterday. its 11am and i just woke up with a slight headache but mostly i feel ashamed for wasting good liquor.

also right before i left my student hall for the holidays i stole slices of cold pizzas from the common fridge. i felt slightly bad when i started eating but then i realised it tasted pretty good. everyone sharing my kitchen was only staying for one semester anyway, they can buy pizzas again later in their home country.

Edited by freecat
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freecat your location says Sweden but i swear it said Paris or France a bit before? anyway I wanted to ask you about Scandinavian countries and pizza, more specifically frozen pizza. apparently it's real real popular in norway, i dont know you know anything about that lol.

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