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i was at the bar tonight, and my one of my friend tells me that the security guards used to play along with nba players during his high school years. being excited, i decided to approach him and talk to him about that. after conversing for a few minutes, i see that some of my other friends were laughing at the sight of a avg asian guy talking to a tall black securtiy guard.... the conversation was altered because of this sight, as i was constantly wondering wtf they were laughing at about me.

i seriously hate how i was so bothered by this and how self conscious/insecure i was during that moment.

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I am alive, thanks everyone for the support and the kind (and not so kind) words, along with those who sent me PMs, I've been doing better actually, figured I'd try and get some ass over the Internet to ease my woes, and it's a pretty interesting story...

I'm writing this out cause I think it's entertaining, and for some reason I just woke up an hour earlier than I needed too.

So yeah set up an OKC profile, just for kind of a rebound hookup thing, and just for shits and giggles at the same time

I met my first person off there on Tuesday, she looked better in pictures but whatever, still attractive. We met up in a park, and I'd brought a bottle of wine, she was nice enough to bring a blanket, it was a gorgeous day and we laid out for awhile talking, etc. We finish the wine, and she actually suggests getting something stronger, so we go to a liquor store and get a bottle of Jack, my type of girl.

We go back to the park, drink some more, out of nowhere the skies open up and it starts pouring, we hide under a canopy of trees and use the blanket as like a tarp, it passes quick, I got the feeling that at this point she kind of wanted me to kiss her, but I didnt, cause I wasnt sure...At this point its about 9 in the evening so I suggest we should go get some food, she agrees and says she knows a good BYOB place nearby, so we can continue to drink. I'm somewhat impressed, the bottles about halfway down and she doesn't appear drunk in the slightest, and wants to continue, alright.

We walk over to place, and its closed, we meditate on what we should do for a moment, when she says my place isn't too far from here, we can just order some pizza or something. At this point I figure I'm in. She even wants to pick up a six pack, whaaat?

We order some food on the walk over, get to her place we have another drink. Her apartment was beautiful by the way, and from what we spoke about earlier I already deduced shes one of those hipster art school girls with a really rich dad. Fine by me...

She asks me if I wanna take a quick shower, which was a nice gesture and I did. I get out and its been about an hour since we ordered the food, so I call them and the place is fucking closed. So we figure they're not coming... So what does she do? She cooks me a fucking steak, yes, alongside a salad and some other shit and it was fucking great.

We move to her living room, we start making out, I suggest we move to her room, we do, we get undressed, and she's all over me, but she keeps saying we shouldn't, blah, blah, she's been hurt in the past, if we have sex right now shell never see me again.

After some kinds words, alongside some tongue action she succumbs, and holy shit, craziest girl I've ever been with. I love sex as much as any man, but she fucking wore me out. Finally she's had her fix and we pass out, or rather she does. I'm wide awake cause I'm thinking this is so weird.. Especially coming off a long serious relationship. I don't need anything like that again, and I kind of feel like this girl likes me way too much.

I finally pass out to be awoken again at like 7 am, she wants to fuck, so I get her off and pass out again. This happens again like two hours later. At like noon were both up for good, and lay around messing around till like 3, this girls a fucking animal...

I say I need to head home, take care of some stuff, she gets all upset, and says lemme at least make you some food before you go. Fucking great, so she makes me lunch, I kiss her goodbye, walking to the subway im still thinking what the fuck... A couple of hours later I get a text saying her sister is throwing a BBQ at their parents apartment, and I should come by.

I figure I've got nothing better to do, so I agree. I get to the place, which is actually a fucking duplex on the upper east side over looking the park, and when she said BBQ I thought it would be a crowd, it's actually just her, her sister and her boyfriend. It's fine though, I don't fucking mind steak and champagne and all this other shit.

We spend a couple of hours hanging out, and I'm genuinely enjoying myself, it's good company. The night begins to wind down, and her sister and boyfriend go to bed. We kiss for a little bit, and she says shed love if I stayed the night at her place, i say why not. We get a cab to Brooklyn. At her place I'm ready to just pass out, she literally says, "im not getting off that easy, and she wants to fuck." I let her get on top for a bit, and to be honest in the morning neither of us really remember if we did it, cause we just passed out. I have to be somewhere, so she makes me coffee and I go on my way... That was this morning.

It's fucking weird, I know this girl is falling for me hard, I can just tell. But at this point I know I can't do thar, just got out of a crazy relationship, etc. But this chick is genuinely cool, if not a little bit damaged/crazy...

I gave her a call this evening, just a hey how was your day kind of thing, maybe im leading her on, but it feels nice to be wanted so badly by someone again, especially a girl who loves to fuck and drink, and will cook for me, and never wears a pair of shoes that don't have heels, or pants, and who comes from demented money so she won't be reliant on me...I dunno, even though I'm enjoying this, I keep comparing her to my ex and it's strange.

Strange things, that's my story anyway, to be continued probably...

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after all the depressing stories you've left in here over the past year or so, it's nice to see something positive happening to you man. let those good vibes flow over into other areas of your life because attitude is everything. way to go dude

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fuck money, get bitches.

backward arse as it may seem this is where i am at. this is where i have always been at.

and not getting bitches like a pile of them discarded on the floor, or collected in a plastic sleeve kept for later. i want to GET them, understand them, and come to think of it, i don't really like bitches, been bossed around enough to know i want a woman who is not a bitch.

i been this way for my whole life with a trajectory of change, you are only going to end up confused if you start thinking you can tell me what to do

actually money is okay by me, just not the main event or worth chasing, i been happy broke and i been happy with cash, same-same to me, money is empty.

so what i am really trying to say is...

shit no clean ending to this , and i guess woman of a certain character do like money or understand it, well at least according to ice cube.

FUCK, bitches get money.

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Was reading facebook comments, some Korean girl posted a pic of a decently made kimchijjigae - caption was something like 'morning after drinking' - and then I read through the comments and she said she drank 5 bottles of soju and 19 small cups of beer. 0..0

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