official break up thread

[OkayOkay]

If a girl chooses a guy who can give her a more comfortable life than you, she's probably a sociopath or someone who would rather have money than love.

I was with you until this. I don't think that going with someone that can provide some stability is necessary a negative thing. By the same thinking we should be hooking up as easily and readily with ugly women cause they're "beautiful on the inside as well". Girls are attracted to stability, men are attracted to looks. I would hesitate to knock anyone for that, it's just a given.

[gettoasty]

delete your facebook if you have not yet... or her

[t3hcoke]

post pics of said halfasian chick

[ninetynine]

I was with you until this. I don't think that going with someone that can provide some stability is necessary a negative thing. By the same thinking we should be hooking up as easily and readily with ugly women cause they're "beautiful on the inside as well". Girls are attracted to stability, men are attracted to looks. I would hesitate to knock anyone for that, it's just a given.

There's a certain validity to what you're saying, but...

First she cheats on him, then he forgives her at the cost of his confidence (lack of moral compass) .

After that she breaks up with him and says she doesn't love him anymore (lack of moral compass)

Then he finds out she met somebody else while they were still dating and turned her attention towards that guy, not considering her boyfriend who had already forgiven her for cheating on him (lack of moral compass)

Then she goes and introduces herself to this guys family and lets him take care of her as if she's not a piece of shit (lack of moral compass)

Having sex with someone based on the way they look is one thing, having sex with someone because of the way their money looks is another...

In my opinion it all seems like sociopathic behavior...

[alimenator]

Apparently, she didn't sleep with him (so I've been told) and she met this guy during class and denied him while I was with her (so ive been told) and even though I took her back, I was a wreck and a different person, it's not entirely her fault cause most of our fights were due to me not trusting her, she broke it off cause I didn't trust her, but I'm not disagreeing with what you said and I guess you can say all 20 year old college girls are sociopaths in a. Way

Edit: in second thought, foxes has a point... fuck her...

[Appleseed]

hmmm, pre-drunk before first date? Perhaps the new girl will not find this too charming?

[alimenator]

second date, and ive sobered up already, haha, ive been successful on pre-drunk first dates though...

[ohsnap]

so.. once a cheater, always a cheater?

[alimenator]

I really don't know if she cheated a second time... all I know is that she had some spark with him while I was with her and only after we broke up did anything happen, but I really will never know..

[gettoasty]

Better to never know? I always wonder too sometimes...If they ever told me in person sometime later, I think I'd throw a huge fit and just say 'goodbye'

(super dramatic you know)

[on-display]

Ex is dating that guy just to get back at me

[gettoasty]

sort of changing subjects, but usually after a breakup i don't keep in contact with ex anymore. but after the last relationship (1.5 years) the ex is still texting and occasionally calling to 'see how I am doing'

what gives? conventional wisdom tells me to just ignore

(but if you had a 2nd chance, would you?)

[on-display]

only you can figure out if it's worth it

I had ex's tell me they miss me, if I smash again I'm very careful about making things clear.

[snake pond]

the (ex) girlfriend and i broke up sometime last year after being together for a few years. after being broken up for about a week or so i realized it sucked to be without her. i tried re initiating the relationship with her and she started to sob and told me she couldn't and just wanted to be single. we've been on/off throughout this whole time of our relationship and we kept on hanging out because it was real comfortable and natural for us though it had no label. this whole period of unofficial hanging time she started to feel more sexually distant towards me and i later found out that she had been fucking this stoner dude she met at school and was friends with. i was hanging out with her still trying to win her back for another month or so even after i had found out. eventually she told me she wanted to give this dude a shot because she had never been with anybody else just to "see where it went" then she told me we had to stop talking.

the binge drinking began as soon as i found out she had been sleeping with this other dude and it went on for 3 or 4 months straight, every. single. day. one day a few months later i received an e-mail from her with all this content she had saved of things from blogs to quotes that pretty much had all the same theme of "hey, i miss you". we go out to lunch a day later and talk about what's been going on in both our lives. currently she was still dating this dude and i was hanging out with a few chicks and i could tell she still had deep feelings for me as we've been dating for a few years. we ended up both making out, crying, and promised to hang again soon. a few days later we meet up and she's real troubled looking, i ask her what's wrong and being a girl she obviously says the typical "nothing". eventually i persuade her to tell me what's up and found out she had gotten knocked up by the other dude and me stupidly still being completely in love with this chick agree to stay with her through the abortion and get back together. she grabbed all the stuff from dudes house and a month later or something had the abortion. she was completely non-sexual with me this entire time and of course i'm a guy, i need to fuck, but i resisted and became really supportive because of her condition. another month had passed after the abortion she started getting really into feminism and getting all miss I.N.D.E.P.E.D.E.N.T. do you know what i mean? (haha) so i decide to just say fuck it try and move on, date more girls, fuck girls, whatever i had to do to occupy myself and get over her. she didn't want to lose me as a "friend" so she wanted to hang out at times but once she found out i was dating other girls she flipped out and went back to the other dude and was telling me all these made up stories (maybe even real, who knows) about shit they did just to say to me with intention of hurting me and at this point i completely cut her off.

months later, again she sends me another e-mail saying similar shit from the last one. currently i'm dating an amazing girl who treats me well but i figure i'd go out to lunch with her because she's going through a death in her family and i still care about the girl and can't just blow her off at this low point in her life regardless of how emotionally draining our last encounters were. everything is going well and she asks me if i'm dating anyone and of course, being honest with her i say yes, i tell her a little bit about the girl i'm dating and then immediately i see the jealousy surface on her face. she's single and she seemed hoping that i was single and in some fairy tale imagination she has she says she would have gave me a chance again if i was single. old feelings definitely resurfaced and i lost my composure and kind of fell into the old carousel of how we are when we used to hang out. she tells me she's still kind of seeing the dude that knocked her up but is disgusted with his lifestyle. dumb ass bitch it was already obvious from the beginning that the dude was a straight loser and it took you this long to start realizing that the dude is a dead end?

now i'm tore in between the two options i have- date this amazing girl i've been seeing for a few months or go back to a fixer upper relationship with a girl i could see myself ending up with?

if only i ever took the advice i give to people.

[sawn-off chef]

Typical "Brooklyn" shit, stay the tuck away, new girl, new hope. Don't be a fool and waste your precious time.

[julzkind]

How is that brooklyn shit? That's stupid bitch shit. And you're being a pussy by falling for it over and over. Shut her out and move on. How can you see a future with a manipulating selfish bitch?

[gettoasty]

so i am a bit surprised that the new girl does or doesn't know about your intentions with ex. i would think new girl may just eliminate herself entirely by dumping you if she found out you're still seeing ex and thinking of "fairy tale endings"

i am in the same boat kind of, still fresh so no new girl, but i would cut ties with old girl and be happy with the new. seems like it hasn't been that long either since the break up (3-4 months). emotions are still raw, so it is a bit finicky. i agree with scott.

if you really hoping for the best with ex, i would still give it 6months to a year and see if things are the same. realistically, i will not be.

[snake pond]

@julzkind respect! i mean i definitely thought about how difficult it would be to rebuild a relationship that has gone to hell and back numerous times but do you always choose the easiest route that's presented to you? i know as vague and cliche as this may sound but relationships are something you have to work had at to make work, no?

[Denpatou]

that kind of shit does not scream "wife material" to me

since ending contact with my most recent ex (6 year relationship) about 7 months ago, things have gotten so much better. i started reading and taking pictures again, i've fucked a few girls here and there, and i feel at peace with where i am--the key to success in these situations lies in the strength of your resolve. i'll get a text, call or e-mail bi-monthly (almost like clockwork) and while it sucks to see that familiar number, i simply ignore, ignore, ignore.

i am 100% positive i'll be seeing another call or message on my birthday (thursday) and i might just pick up to let the bitch know my life's alright without her. hopefully i don't run into her in austin while i'm getting shitfaced, tho :x

[snake pond]

@gettoasty word up brotha, though when me and new girl started dating one of the first things we talked about was past relationships and she already knew that i was real fucked up from it- yes, i have a feeling if she did find out i still had all these tucked away feelings for my ex and was considering getting back with her she would immediately dump me and i'd end up being that dude who'd call her "the one that got away."

[OkayOkay]

now i'm tore in between the two options i have- date this amazing girl i've been seeing for a few months or go back to a fixer upper relationship with a girl i could see myself ending up with?

if only i ever took the advice i give to people.

Yo, best advice ever right here:

STAY WITH THE CURRENT "AMAZING" GIRL AND SEE WHERE THAT GOES. DON'T FUCK THIS UP.

[decades777]

New girl. How do you know that won't grow into something?

I know it's rough when you've worked hard at a relationship. Two people just don't meet and fall in love, they grow into those people. I think when you've put that kind of energy into it and shared that experience with someone else you'll always feel like there is "something there." That's normal. But are you both still those people? Are you still in love with her or do you just want to be in love? Would you be happy with the current relationship or are you hoping it will just feel like old times when things were good?

[alimenator]

ok so update on my situation

Went out with the half-asian girl and things went really well for a second date. We kissed and all is well.

It's so much easier to move on now...

[koala]

swell shit dude^

how do you know when it's right to just really call it quits?

i keep posting about my ex. and we've been broken up now for about 2 months. we've broken up in the past, the most being 1 month. and even though were broken up and she's seeing someone and i'm kind of seeing someone, i fear the regret that i know i will feel. my ex was perfect. absolutely gorgeous, perfect body, so fucking real, down to earth, funny, and always had this positive outlook on life, which complemented the way i am. weve matured together, and grown up so much together that in a way i am some of her, and i'm sure she is some of me if that makes any fucking sense at all. we started dating in high school.

well anyways, we overcame trust issues, and all that immature bullshit, but i started to become distant as we grew older and started to wonder what else was out there. this affected the way i interacted with her, and she started to notice, and that was when we finally decided to part. a part of me feels like she deserves someone who will appreciate everything she is, but another part of me feels like a complete fuckhead for not being able to appreciate her the way i should. and i want to. being with other girls is nice but the satisfaction and happiness i get from being with new girls does not last. sure it feels great at that moment, but those feelings of happiness don't last. with my ex i felt a steady flow of happiness and calm.

i feel like she's better off without me as of now. i just don't know when to really call it quits and move on. fuck. sorry for the long ass post. fuck.

[conqueror]

are you 12? breaking up and getting back together (i'd argue more than once) is some dumb high school shit for people forcing a relationship to 'work' when it clearly won't. its over, let it go.

[broneck]

Are YOU 12? Is life black and white? Holy shit dude I wish shit was as simple as you have just reduced it to being.

[baizilla]

are you 12? breaking up and getting back together (i'd argue more than once) is some dumb high school shit for people forcing a relationship to 'work' when it clearly won't. its over, let it go.

this makes me think you've never been in love.

[broneck]

right ?!

[Kasper]

Some things i have learned over the years

so.. once a cheater, always a cheater?

For non-married people, i'd say yes, at least 90% of cheaters will do it again. 100% (or close to) of relationship that start with adultery will end with adultery, however special you may think the hook-up was.

are you 12? breaking up and getting back together (i'd argue more than once) is some dumb high school shit for people forcing a relationship to 'work' when it clearly won't. its over, let it go.

at least 90% of couples that end up back together after a breakup won't last. actually, getting back together after a break-up usually signals for me that the people in the relationship have entered the delusion phase and i don't need to bother any more / listen to their complaints / give advices etc...

[conqueror]

at least 90% of couples that end up back together after a breakup won't last. actually, getting back together after a break-up usually signals for me that the people in the relationship have entered the delusion phase and i don't need to bother any more / listen to their complaints / give advices etc...

yo, that's what i'm saying. don't know why du's are getting their panties in a knot, maybe they are just mad because they are currently in the same situation? obviously relationships aren't b&w, but GENERALLY if you are breaking up (and i mean 'breaking up' properly) and getting back together numerous times the two of you obviously are not suited for each other for whatever reasons. what's the point? find someone you're more compatible with.