official break up thread

[conqueror]

welp, looks like my long distance relationship is about to end. been together 2yrs, she's been overseas for 4 months on a 1yr work visa and i was meant to visit her in the US in may. worst feeling.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

[sunny D]

twig dumped me

[conqueror]

well, my 2yr relationship is officially over and i was dumped via skype...a first for me. i guess at least it happened now and not when i was about to board a plane to the US. she said i was too much of a 'realist', becoming too negative and that religion was becoming an issue for her (she is christian, gives 10% of her salary to her church etc whereas i'm agnostic bordering on atheist). i feel like a truck has hit me.

[shoreman]

Fight the urge to visit her regardless of the breakup. (Trust, that need to see her in hopes of salvaging the relationship will intensify tenfold and her indifference towards the act will hurt even more than the actual breakup.)

[conqueror]

thankfully i hadn't paid for tickets yet so i won't be visiting. i guess i'll try and go to iceland or somewhere else instead.

[boy better know]

the cost of opportunity of 1 girl is 20,000 new girls

[conqueror]

people say that, but i dunno - i consider myself fairly confident with women but i guess i'm still a 'beta' because i've never been interested in casual hookups and generally only sleep with girls that i'm in a relationship with. that + i don't drink for various reasons so i never really meet girls anyway.

[Dropt]

Here's a big secret: There are no "alpha" or "beta" in life. What people consider "alpha" is how a certain person will draw attention through social and/or physical attributes, and this will allow him to be first-sighted by potential partners. That doesn't mean that these mates won't be less interested in a "beta" over an "alpha", it just means that they get the attention first. The "alpha" theory has been debunked lots of time already and is straight PUA bullshit. People comparing virility with number of conquests are the real ones fucked in the head. 

[Miso Moo]

well, my 2yr relationship is officially over and i was dumped via skype...a first for me. i guess at least it happened now and not when i was about to board a plane to the US. she said i was too much of a 'realist', becoming too negative and that religion was becoming an issue for her (she is christian, gives 10% of her salary to her church etc whereas i'm agnostic bordering on atheist). i feel like a truck has hit me.

Don't worry about it. She is in the States and you Aus, pretty hard to maintain a relationship. I kind of get the impression that she had more control of the relationship than you. (you are more invested than she is) Take the break up as a chance to work on self esteem issues you may or may not have. 

 

Also my bro, you don't need to drink to meet chicks, drinking is so 1999. The age of cross fit and shit like that means there are plenty of places to meet woman in a social environment. 

[CronutEh]

people say that, but i dunno - i consider myself fairly confident with women but i guess i'm still a 'beta' because i've never been interested in casual hookups and generally only sleep with girls that i'm in a relationship with. that + i don't drink for various reasons so i never really meet girls anyway.

 

Date Edge : The Straightedge Dating Site

 

in all seriousness, the whole alpha/beta/lambda/greek PUA personality type thing is a crock of shit.  chin up, m8.

[Schoon]

Things are looking up for me.  I'm spending a lot less time thinking about the break up and more time living. Feels great.

 

For those going through a recent break up, best advice I can give (from my experience anyway) is put that shit out of your mind asap. She(or he)'s not part of your life anymore so pretend she/he doesn't exist anymore.  That may sound harsh, especially if you were hoping to remain friends w/ your ex, but there's no way in hell you'll be able to peacefully come to terms with your break up so soon afterward.  After a sufficient amount of time has passed (could be months, could be years), then you can try to maintain a platonic relationship with that person but for now don't even try.

 

(note: this only really applies to those who don't work with/are in the same friend group as their ex, and don't have to see them frequently) 

[blackmaged]

well, my 2yr relationship is officially over and i was dumped via skype...a first for me. i guess at least it happened now and not when i was about to board a plane to the US. she said i was too much of a 'realist', becoming too negative and that religion was becoming an issue for her (she is christian, gives 10% of her salary to her church etc whereas i'm agnostic bordering on atheist). i feel like a truck has hit me.

 

wow i'm in a similar boat as you... my girl and i broke up not too long ago and though i hoped we could make it work it became too much of an obstacle. 

[boy better know]

Here's a big secret: There are no "alpha" or "beta" in life. What people consider "alpha" is how a certain person will draw attention through social and/or physical attributes, and this will allow him to be first-sighted by potential partners. That doesn't mean that these mates won't be less interested in a "beta" over an "alpha", it just means that they get the attention first. The "alpha" theory has been debunked lots of time already and is straight PUA bullshit. People comparing virility with number of conquests are the real ones fucked in the head. 

[dannyon]

how do you deal with running into an ex?

[e0d9n0b5]

how do you deal with running into an ex?

b doper than them

[cococo344]

how do you deal with running into an ex?

you better have finished the job

[mr fluffernutter]

i was gonna say help her up

[froople]

What to do if your (now) ex is in your friends group? I can't avoid seeing her or anything, we live together at college too. Fuck.

[Fycus]

It happened to me before and I let my ex hang out long enough to become entrenched with my group but since most of the ppl i hung out with became torn who to associate with, I personally chose to kinda distance myself from a lot of them. It was a good choice in the long run because it separated my real friends from people who were just friends by association. It also sucks because I kind of had to rebuild my circle a bit, but honestly people will start to see through the crap if your ex sucks and you shouldn't have a problem. 

[Schoon]

Man i have the best fucking friend in the entire world

 

When i got together with my now ex-girlfriend, I knew that my best friend had feelings for her.  She made the move on me and I liked her, so I dated her which in retrospect was a total dick move.  Now we've been broken up less than a month (on okay terms) and she tells my best friend that she has feelings for him.  He still likes her yet instead of dating her, tells her that he could never do that to me and then tells me about the whole situation, telling me honestly that he does like her but wants to make sure im totally over it before even considering dating her.  

 

I took her out from under him, he could have had her for himself but instead did the best thing possible for me which is absolutely incredible. 

[jayrock]

make sure you do the same, and give him the green light

Edited February 11, 2014 by jayrock

[Fycus]

Schoon, may I have permission to fuck your bitch?

[Knugget]

LDR for ~5 months. She was gunna make plans for to visit me and asked if I was gunna pick her up from JFK. Told her no, saying how it woulda took 3 hours of my life and that 13yos can take the subway.

 

Hours later she ended things via text.

[Schoon]

He's definitely got my blessing once i get over this shit.  He deserves it after having my back for ~13 years

[wahwho11]

He's definitely got my blessing once i get over this shit.  He deserves it after having my back for ~13 years

let him choose the lakers when you play nba jam

let him choose wolverine when you play x-men

let him choose leonardo when you play tmnt

let him choose yun when you play 3rd strike

 

BUT, don't let him win

Edited February 14, 2014 by wahwho11

[Fycus]

spurs are the best in nba jam imo

[PHAT HEAD CAMEL TOEZ]

Yo wut. I'd never get with a friend's ex, even if I had feelings for her before and after she'd been screwed by my friend. Nor would I be cool with a friend getting with one of mine.

 

You're telling me, when you do give your blessing, 6 months, 12 months, or however long down the line, when he finally gets with her, that he's still going to be your best friend? and you think he's going to see you in the same light once she's (snake with tits) polluted his mind?

 

There are thousands even millions of other chicks out in the wild, no reason at all to go sloppy seconds with your best friend's ex girlfriend. This isn't the set of Friends, so no need for inbreeding.

 

ALSO him telling you he still has feelings for her after the break up and won't do anything without your blessing is a super douche move. I think you need to reconsider his "best friend" status.

Edited February 11, 2014 by PHAT HEAD CAMEL TOEZ

[jayrock]

schoon should have ran it by the dude in the first place, everything his friend has done to this point is pretty classy from a friendship standpoint.

lol at being worried about sloppy seconds tho. people are very different on an individual level and to deny a friend's potential happiness for something so juvenile would be incredibly selfish. especially after gushing over said friendship.

ESPECIALLY especially after swooping on the girl knowing full well his boy was already catching feelings

fwiw I'm going on the assumption this wasn't necessarily a long term relationship previously by any means. the more time invested the muddier it gets I guess

friend did a solid for him, he should return the favor is all

Edited February 11, 2014 by jayrock

[Schoon]

To clear some things up:

 

i was with the girl for ~6 months.  When we got together she made the move on me, so I jumped at the chance.  Things between her and I ended on relatively good terms, we don't hate each other, but our feelings are one sided (she ended it).  Even though she's an ex and has a few problems (who doesn't?) she's still a really cool person and wasn't just a fuck hole to me.  

 

I'm hoping in time I can come to see her as nothing more than a friend with whom I made some fond memories.  When that day comes, I'd be more than happy for her to be a part of my life as my best friend's gf and my friend, but for now I'm not over her.  My best friend understood that and put my feelings over his own, so yeah, I'm absolutely sure of his best-friend status.  

 

Am I supposed to tell him that he can never have the girl he likes simply because I refuse to move on?  If anything would get between our friendship it would be a statement like that.