Corny pick up line thread

[ojjairus]

Hit me with some next level pick up lines to add to my prehistoric vault.

Girl are you havin a hard time breathing? Cause you got ASSS MA.

[CharmingMthafknPig]

pretty sure this has been done before

[ProfMonnitoff]

ay bay bay

[goat]

this most likely has been done before, but i'll participate

"How you doing? I plan on masturbating tonight and I need a name to go with your face."

[Bigyen]

This happened...

Big dude walk up to this tiny friend of mine waiting for the light to change and says:

Girl, if we was at a bbq, i'd make sure you got a hamburger.

[ojjairus]

guess sufu don't be making them pu lines.

[sawn-off chef]

hi!

10 charz

(0)

[ojjairus]

wait which is being serious 0 or 10.

[sawn-off chef]

well 10 charz is just filler but (0) is serious, i will edit my post because i was dead ass serious!

[eightfour]

They should call you Gilette because you're the best a man can get

[sawn-off chef]

also, on halloween

"i'm a zombie girl, GIMME BRAINS!"

[goat]

lets do some math

lets add me and you

subtract your clothes

divide your legs

and multiply

[ojjairus]

haha i like that one scott.

Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

[dismalfuture]

In my area:

'Sup bitch, wanna fuck?'

'Oh herro, ha ah you?'

'I'm aight so what you think, I live really close to here'

'NOOOOOO I am virgin'

'oh aight but yo I just want to talk'

(friend who can speak English pretty flawlessly) 'what? leave my friends alone'

'ay I was talking to your friend, not you'

etc etc fast forward 15 minutes whereby girl looks sick, you spot her coming out of the bathroom walking out the door so you go out and bother her again:

(girl) 'brgohhhhhh'

-girl pukes on your feet, it's all 1cm chopped up ramen noodles and red bile on your Common Projects. You smell like fucking intestine so you finger her on the sidewalk, you let go of her and she drops on the sidewalk with her polyester panties reflecting the main drag's lights, and you jump into the $4.50 taxi ride home smelling like tuna, ramen, and stomach bile.

You wake up on Sunday at 3, smell warmth and puke, get up, take a Scotch Brite and Palmolive to your Common Projects and try to get that dried, shrunken noodle bit puke off your CPs, but you end up scratching that nice factory luster off them. Good game.

[Caps Lock]

"Girl you like a prize in a cereal box"

[sawn-off chef]

In my area:

'Sup bitch, wanna fuck?'

'Oh herro, ha ah you?'

'I'm aight so what you think, I live really close to here'

'NOOOOOO I am virgin'

'oh aight but yo I just want to talk'

(friend who can speak English pretty flawlessly) 'what? leave my friends alone'

'ay I was talking to your friend, not you'

etc etc fast forward 15 minutes whereby girl looks sick, you spot her coming out of the bathroom walking out the door so you go out and bother her again:

(girl) 'brgohhhhhh'

-girl pukes on your feet, it's all 1cm chopped up ramen noodles and red bile on your Common Projects. You smell like fucking intestine so you finger her on the sidewalk, you let go of her and she drops on the sidewalk with her polyester panties reflecting the main drag's lights, and you jump into the $4.50 taxi ride home smelling like tuna, ramen, and stomach bile.

You wake up on Sunday at 3, smell warmth and puke, get up, take a Scotch Brite and Palmolive to your Common Projects and try to get that dried, shrunken noodle bit puke off your CPs, but you end up scratching that nice factory luster off them. Good game.

wow.....i am just in awe at how awesome this is.

[16steps]

you guys talk to girls?

i just flex and smile. then its on.

although i have been known to call a girl bitch (not exactly bbitch, but anything to that effect) in my drunken state. When girl flips out you gotta reassure em you took women's studies courses at university. But you gotta know your mark, dont be callin no crazy girl a bitch

they usually end up laughing. LAUGHTER IS MY PICKUP LINE

[gfunkdocta]

nice legs, what time do they open??

[sawn-off chef]

sup girl, lemme buy you some rick owens!

[Orion]

Without requoting Dismal again, best post I've read in quite some time.

[gfunkdocta]

tell me, is there anymore room for me? in those jeans..

(must be wearing jeans)

[lawless]

"beeeaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuu!"

"beeeeaaaaauuuuuuuuuuu!"

"beeeeeaaaauuuuuuuuuuu!"

"beeaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"what are you doing?"

"that's an ambulance coming to take me away cause the sight of you stopped my heart"

"beeeeaaaaauuuuuuuuuuu!"

+ to anyone who remembers this. lol

[weidna]

^night at the roxbury, man.

"yu aint gotta say 2 much

from the look in ur eyez

i can tell u wanna fuck."

[16steps]

BYOEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BOOOOWEEEE

BYOOOOOOOOOOOO

doug is like a fax machine