Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[shoreman]

Finding someone you "genuinely care about"/love with 100% of your heart, is a lot easier said than done.

That being said, I wouldn't cheat on a girl even if I was not all about them.

 

I've never understood people who have been so firm in this particular stance. Shit happens; we don't all plan on cheating. There doesn't even need to be something going on in the relationship to prompt the act. Sometimes, it's just how things play out. It's how people feel about it after the fact that will determine  the quality of your life for the next while. 

 

Serial cheaters, on the other hand, are just shitty people. (Don't trust them when it comes to anything.)

[exhaust fumes]

It's about discipline and self-control. It's about respect for the person you're dating. It's what separates a man from beast.

 

Just because you can have sex with someone doesn't mean you should immediately take advantage of the situation to satisfy your primal urges.

 

What I'm saying is that if you're in a relationship that isn't going well, or isn't going to be your wife or whatever you want to imply that as, that isn't an excuse to treat your partner like shit and go around their back fucking other people without their knowledge. Yes, shit happens, and you should feel like shit for it, because if a relationship doesn't have any trust, what's the point of having it?

[froople]

We all having a personal relationship philosophy circle jerk here? Ok. Fuck relationships. I've met a slew of great girls and guys who 'complete' me or whatever romantic bs you wanna call it, but as a single person, they can't satisfy my desires sexually or emotionally or both. So I don't do monogamous relationships - I used to as a kid, but just ended up feeling terrible when I inevitably cheated, over and over. The girls or guys I am with can bang who they want. Me too. Works out fucking great. I think it's natural to wanna bang a lot of people, plus it's way more fun.

 

Maybe you an ascetic monk who all about that self-denial, morally masochistic shit. Wanna wait for you're deep in feelings to bang. I think you're dumb, you think I'm dumb. Cool. But SS ain't gunna change his stance cos fashion forum told him to.

Edited June 24, 2014 by froople

[Miso Moo]

I think gays have it right. I have a lot of gay friends, and one couple have been together for 20 years. They wanted to add some spice so they got in a 28 handsome french dude. They all live together, sleep in same bed (unless one is tired, up early etc..) 

 

Another couple together 30 years, they fuck other people. I don't judge. 7 billion on this planet and we are all different.

 

I think a lot of you are single cuz yo wiggaz ain't open minded. 

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

i'mma just shrug. i'm really happy with my current relationship and if all of you are happy where you are then what does it matter what we believe in?

[boy better know]

Having to explain text messages about how I wanted to rail my girlfriend's boss (just shit talking with my best friend) were some of the lowest points in my life after she and her gay best friend went through my phone when I was knocked out on a xanax.

 

Needless to say I now thumb lock my phone.

 

It's about discipline and self-control. It's about respect for the person you're dating. It's what separates a man from beast.

 

Just because you can have sex with someone doesn't mean you should immediately take advantage of the situation to satisfy your primal urges.

 

What I'm saying is that if you're in a relationship that isn't going well, or isn't going to be your wife or whatever you want to imply that as, that isn't an excuse to treat your partner like shit and go around their back fucking other people without their knowledge. Yes, shit happens, and you should feel like shit for it, because if a relationship doesn't have any trust, what's the point of having it?

You really sound like someone who has been dating westernized women for way too long.

[exhaust fumes]

You really sound like someone who has been dating westernized women for way too long.

What a terrible curse.

[shoreman]

It's about discipline and self-control. It's about respect for the person you're dating. It's what separates a man from beast.

 

Just because you can have sex with someone doesn't mean you should immediately take advantage of the situation to satisfy your primal urges.

 

What I'm saying is that if you're in a relationship that isn't going well, or isn't going to be your wife or whatever you want to imply that as, that isn't an excuse to treat your partner like shit and go around their back fucking other people without their knowledge. Yes, shit happens, and you should feel like shit for it, because if a relationship doesn't have any trust, what's the point of having it?

This all sounds very idealized and preachy. That first sentence is just so corny.

 

HOWEVER...

 

I understand we're all raised differently and come from different cultures and backgrounds. I take issue, though, when someone starts imposing their world views on me as a model for change, as if I should be more like them. Na, it's cool. Do you, though. 

[SSchadenfreude]

i'mma just shrug. i'm really happy with my current relationship and if all of you are happy where you are then what does it matter what we believe in?

i'm sincerely glad that ur happy.  if it works for you, great.

[Hsin8]

What a terrible curse.

[SSchadenfreude]

We all having a personal relationship philosophy circle jerk here? Ok. Fuck relationships. I've met a slew of great girls and guys who 'complete' me or whatever romantic bs you wanna call it, but as a single person, they can't satisfy my desires sexually or emotionally or both. So I don't do monogamous relationships - I used to as a kid, but just ended up feeling terrible when I inevitably cheated, over and over. The girls or guys I am with can bang who they want. Me too. Works out fucking great. I think it's natural to wanna bang a lot of people, plus it's way more fun.

 

Maybe you an ascetic monk who all about that self-denial, morally masochistic shit. Wanna wait for you're deep in feelings to bang. I think you're dumb, you think I'm dumb. Cool. But SS ain't gunna change his stance cos fashion forum told him to.

 

i honestly don't think and never meant to imply i'm better/cooler than other individuals in relationships who don't sleep w/ other women.  if they really don't wanna that's great.  makes things so much simpler for them.  however i do enjoy the company of various woman.  just telling it how it is and works for me.  i like my current gf in my life, but i am what i am.  was doing this kind of activities even b4 i met her.  it's like sushi.  i got my fav i always come back 2 and usually eat at the end, YET i wanna eat other kinds too.

i  do what i want.  it's just been that way most my life. that is the lifestyle i choose. players play and domesticated dudes stay domesticated (and sometimes fall from grace, and get caught and break up).  thats fine.  i ain't gonna condemn husband or one woman man.  just be real about shit and respect playas right to play.

 

it just that a couple dudes in here not to mention okok just come off w/ sorta holier than thou attitudes. like how u gonna judge when u apparently been in many many tons of relationships (implying they weren't long) and had a divorce?  

Edited June 24, 2014 by SSchadenfreude

[jayrock]

I'm a dumb fucking idiot. Crushing on a coworker (mistake #1),had a social outing today and didn't get a chance to talk to her in person (mistake #2),then after she left I sent a drunk ass message proclaiming my admiration (mistake #3)

I fully expect this to go nowhere, as it probably should (coworkers and whatnot) but goddammit am I the dumbest guy ever or what

Fucking faded on a Wednesday afternoon, fuck you

Edited June 26, 2014 by jayrock

[ken shinoda]

You did good, I think now that the cat is out of the bag, you'll see the result on Thursday morning or whenever you see her.

[pooMonger]

no response to said 'drunk ass message?'.  without one, prob not into you.

[e0d9n0b5]

I'm a dumb fucking idiot. Crushing on a coworker (mistake #1),had a social outing today and didn't get a chance to talk to her in person (mistake #2),then after she left I sent a drunk ass message proclaiming my admiration (mistake #3)

I fully expect this to go nowhere, as it probably should (coworkers and whatnot) but goddammit am I the dumbest guy ever or what

Fucking faded on a Wednesday afternoon, fuck you

based on your post history i feel like wednesday is a big drinking day for you.

 

it is for me as well.

[the breaks]

Around these parts wednesday is know as "little saturday". Real talk.

[jayrock]

You did good, I think now that the cat is out of the bag, you'll see the result on Thursday morning or whenever you see her.

The good thing is that even though it's the same company we work in completely different areas so we'd have to go out of the way to bug each other

no response to said 'drunk ass message?'. without one, prob not into you.

No, there was some back and forth in person and messaging and we exchanged digits, she just lobbed a "coming out of a serious 4 year relationship that I'm taking time to move past. I hope that's okay" disclaimer in there. Comes off as a soft "no thanks" to me, but who knows how she interpreted what I was trying to spit at her when I was all wasted. Not a bad pump on the brakes I guess, I'm all for taking it slow but I'm also pretty cynical so this is already half wrote off as a non-situation

based on your post history i feel like wednesday is a big drinking day for you.

it is for me as well.

This was a special company / team outing to a baseball game, but yeah I guess you could say that. I've recently began realizing how great weekday drinking is because then you can actually rest and spend the weekends NOT hungover

[whitney]

next time just say w/ ur own words/spin on essentially

approach with some random ice breaker, or comment like TGIF, long ass day, etcetc

then slide in a

hey, what are u doing after work?

her: plans // play it off like cool, just regular convo..cool, I'm xyz

if she says nothing, or just chill

you: wanna grab drinks at x?

dinner if you're feeling particularly bold

if she says yes then ya

but if she goes is this a date?

or kinda hesitates

starts to do excuses for whatever reason

look her in the eyes, smile

can I be honest with u?

I really like x about you

and you being pretty doesn't hurt either

(or something silly like that)

(keep vibe light)

just want to get to know you better and see if there's something here

at best we find there's chemistry and it'll be the best sex of our lives

at worst you get free drinks/meal and maybe even a new friend

what do you say?

-sumthin like that but it's gotta feel comfortable coming from you

[the breaks]

what

[Schoon]

Recently I was given some intel that this girl i dated back in high school wants to get together again.  Hesitant to do so because of the distance but it could make for a fun summer.  From what i remember she wasn't too affectionate but she got really hot so i'm willing to roll the dice

Turns out this was bad info.  Hung out with the girl and she didn't seem interested at all.  actually she seemed actively disinterested.  Talked to the friend who gave me the info and he said he forgot to tell me: the girl told him that she wanted to get with me because my friend's insane ex thought he liked the girl and they wanted to get back at him.  some immature drama bs

 

Doesn't matter to me though, upon hanging with her I discovered she got even more empty-headed over time (i.e. genuinely believes in bigfoot and ghosts).

Edited June 26, 2014 by Schoon

[Jnutz]

Broke up with my gf about a month ago. Best decision I've made in a minute.

[SSchadenfreude]

Broke up with my gf about a month ago. Best decision I've made in a minute.

Ok...

[thefuture]

Broke up with my gf about a month ago. Best decision I've made in a minute.

congrats hope u find fulfillment & happiness 

[gettoasty]

i pos rep your post whitney only because i remember you posting on the forum that you rarely smile/laugh, in which case i thought your post was an attempt at some sort of dry humor, which i get. i mean i get it, i'd post that same exact thing except we both know it'd never can happen in real life, generally. for me i'd pull that type of shit if i'm completely blasted and grinning from ear to ear because that's when ifeel the most comfortble, completley let go. loosing all inhibition. except in the case of being @ work, i don't believe in double dipping. i don't like anyone at work. -.-

[fads]

what

[BRICK DOM]

gettoasty and whitney would hit it off because they're both always incoherent and hard to follow when they post.

 

I'm rootin for u gettoasty. go get em tiger  

[SSchadenfreude]

lulz aint the 1st time he tryin 2 spit game @ girl here.

 

sorry big boi, yr game sorta weak.  if not it just make boring

[gettoasty]

well aint that the truth. havent seen anyone in years. i'm pretty aware of it, mr. obvious 

[Bleu1950]

did she text you back?  i think you know the answer by now?

 

 

 

I'm a dumb fucking idiot. Crushing on a coworker (mistake #1),had a social outing today and didn't get a chance to talk to her in person (mistake #2),then after she left I sent a drunk ass message proclaiming my admiration (mistake #3)

I fully expect this to go nowhere, as it probably should (coworkers and whatnot) but goddammit am I the dumbest guy ever or what

Fucking faded on a Wednesday afternoon, fuck you

[hellogoodbye]

i pos rep your post whitney only because i remember you posting on the forum that you rarely smile/laugh, in which case i thought your post was an attempt at some sort of dry humor, which i get. i mean i get it, i'd post that same exact thing except we both know it'd never can happen in real life, generally. for me i'd pull that type of shit if i'm completely blasted and grinning from ear to ear because that's when ifeel the most comfortble, completley let go. loosing all inhibition. except in the case of being @ work, i don't believe in double dipping. i don't like anyone at work. -.-

meant to neg