dear ... [an open letter]

[unouomedude]

Dear deadbeat ebayer,

why the fuck would you click buy it now when you dont motherfucking pay. you stupid bitch you better be in the fucking hospital.

[tg76]

Dear Minya, moderator at large

miss your iron fist.

Regards

TG

[t3hcoke]

dear person who found my wallet wherever it was,

fuck you.

fucking return this shit.

i'll consider give you have the cash in there.

fucker.

[cheapmuthafukr]

whoever started the rumor that i put my name on some fake sufu buisness cards, and used that to influence a denim contest back in the day, but never had the balls to confront me about it on here...

i forgive you.

[DismalDuke]

dear stray bullets...

why cant you just stay out of the hood of my car?

love,

duke

[wahwho11]

that sucks. at least there wasn't any functional damage to the car.

Edited August 23, 2012 by wahwho11

[DismalDuke]

Yeah, no kidding. Glad it didn't hit a person either.

[wesc]

If only you saw how money doesn't bring happiness.

If only you saw how sheltered your upbringing was.

If only you saw how much I cared for you.

If only you saw how I am trying so very hard to come back to you.

If only you saw how nothing else matters but love.

If only you saw how great this really is, will be and can be.....

[lmk1995]

dear self,

stop being a pussy and wake up before class to go work out.

[Champion champs]

Dear flakey roommate,

I have lived with you for three weeks. I wash and dry the dishes every night, mostly of pans you have burned your ridiculous concoctions in. I dispose of your fowl leftovers. I take out the garbage, filled with the rancid remains of your wasted food. I clean the bathroom you have labeled as mine, but which you use equally often. I let you smoke wherever you want. I vacuum the apartment that is scattered with the crumbs of Vegetable Thins, left over from your midnight munchies. I turn off the lights, TV, and speakers you leave on, even when you've gone. I water your dying plants. I remind you to feed your snake. I clear the tables of your debris, dishes, and drawings of dicks. I tolerate you blasting your shitty Top 40's music, when I was already watching TV. I wait for you, even when you are late, because we have the same class. I lock the door when you forget. I replastered the whole apartment, for free, just so it would look nice. I also calked the kitchen, installed a toilet paper roll dispenser, and hung up your posters, out of the kindness of my heart. I even rescued you from that creepy dude, you couldn't could brush off, at the expense of my face getting punched. I do all of this, in silence, as you sleep away your day, well in to the afternoon. I do all of this without asking anything more than respect. And you cannot even give me that. After all I have done, you have the gaul to have your lawyer parents present me with veiled threats to take legal action if I won't let you get a puppy. You can't handle a puppy; you can't even handle yourself! I capitulated in the name of diplomacy. Well, know this: FUCK YOU!

Love,

me

xoxo

[lorem3k]

I dispose of your fowl leftovers.

What about his non-chicken leftovers?

[pepper davies]

Dear flakey roommate,

I have lived with you for three weeks. I wash and dry the dishes every night, mostly of pans you have burned your ridiculous concoctions in. I dispose of your fowl leftovers. I take out the garbage, filled with the rancid remains of your wasted food. I clean the bathroom you have labeled as mine, but which you use equally often. I let you smoke wherever you want. I vacuum the apartment that is scattered with the crumbs of Vegetable Thins, left over from your midnight munchies. I turn off the lights, TV, and speakers you leave on, even when you've gone. I water your dying plants. I remind you to feed your snake. I clear the tables of your debris, dishes, and drawings of dicks. I tolerate you blasting your shitty Top 40's music, when I was already watching TV. I wait for you, even when you are late, because we have the same class. I lock the door when you forget. I replastered the whole apartment, for free, just so it would look nice. I also calked the kitchen, installed a toilet paper roll dispenser, and hung up your posters, out of the kindness of my heart. I even rescued you from that creepy dude, you couldn't could brush off, at the expense of my face getting punched. I do all of this, in silence, as you sleep away your day, well in to the afternoon. I do all of this without asking anything more than respect. And you cannot even give me that. After all I have done, you have the gaul to have your lawyer parents present me with veiled threats to take legal action if I won't let you get a puppy. You can't handle a puppy; you can't even handle yourself! I capitulated in the name of diplomacy. Well, know this: FUCK YOU!

Love,

me

xoxo

She must be hot.

[Champion champs]

Not even.

[whitney]

dear neighbor,

you should not stick out your lips

makes you look like a duck

I know you are tall, but you're not that tall

there's no excuse for slouching over your desk so that half your chest is on the desk, elbow to wrist is on the desk--it's really unprofessional

I'm trying hard not to hate

but my nose is a bit sensitive and I get grumpy/mean when it gets irritated

signed,

me

Edited June 16, 2014 by whitney

[Hsin8]

Dear S,

 

Real bummer the physical air cushion letter couldn't make it in time before your flight.

Hope your flight's comfy enough to sleep and that you'll be able to accomplish you set your mind to.

You're strong enough to help yourself but I did wanted to show my support, wonder if that sentiment went through.

Take care, stay safe. Please.

 

CHEERS

K

[fewgale]

stfu u fuckin idiot 

[haploid]

dear weather:

 

fuck you im sweating my balls off

[tentpole]

dear fewgale,

 

 

nice fits but like... is everything okay at home?

 

[fewgale]

sall good bro just havent smoked weed for a week

[fewgale]

CAN U STFU

[WussWayne]

Meant to neg

[Aeroplane]

dear company looking for candidate,

 

i've spent 3 hrs on 2 different occasions talking with you.  shit or get off the pot.

 

thanks

Edited July 25, 2014 by Aeroplane

[netw0rth]

Dear _______,

I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph for your brother

I wrote it on a Starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you

But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?

I say that shit just clowning dog, come on, how fucked up is you

You got some issues ______, I think you need some counseling

To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some

And what's this shit about us meant to be together?

That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doing just fine

If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but ______

Why are you so mad

Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk

And she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about it, his name was, it was you, damn

Edited July 29, 2014 by netw0rthless

[skeetinmynose]

Dear neti,

 

You still ain't called or wrote; I hope you have a chance

I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans

If you didn't want to talk to me outside the concert

You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Matthew

That's my little brother man, he's only six years old

We waited in the blistering cold for you

For four hours and you just said no

That's pretty shitty man, you're like his fucking idol

He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do

I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to

Remember when we met in Denver

You said if I'd write you, you would write back

See, I'm just like you in a way

I never knew my father neither

He used to always cheat on my Mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're saying in your songs

So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on

Cause I don't really got shit else

So that shit helps when I'm depressed

I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest

Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me

See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does

She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up

You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose

 

Sincerely yours, skeet

 

P.S. We should be together too

[skeetinmynose]

no homo

[netw0rth]

skeetie u BEEN dead by the time i sent my letter tbh but ok

[I told a mod to fuck off]

 

Dear _______,

I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph for your brother

I wrote it on a Starter cap

I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you

Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you

But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?

I say that shit just clowning dog, come on, how fucked up is you

You got some issues ______, I think you need some counseling

To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some

And what's this shit about us meant to be together?

That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other

I really think you and your girlfriend need each other

Or maybe you just need to treat her better

I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doing just fine

If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but ______

Why are you so mad

Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan

I just don't want you to do some crazy shit

I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk

And she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to

Come to think about it, his name was, it was you, damn

 

 

sus shit smh