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The Joke Thread

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There's a black bartender at a bar, and a white guy walks in.

He sits down, calls the bartender over and says "Hey nigger, give me a beer."

The bartender is baffled. "Woah what the fuck. You can't talk to me that way. How would you like it if I came to order a beer from you and used a racial slur?"

So they agreed to switch positions.

The black guy enters the bar and goes "Hey ya damn cracker, give me a beer."

The white guy responds, "Sorry, we don't serve niggers here."

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what do you call a black pilot?

a pilot you fucking racist

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A mute-deaf mafioso decides to steal a large amount of money from his boss.

He gets caught and after 3 hours of "convincing" he decides to tell them where the money are, thinking he might get away with just having his legs sawn of.

They call in a translater and the mute-deaf tells that he has hidden the dough on warehouse 3 down at the mole, which the translater calmly translates to the boss as:

"He says you can go fuck yourself and that your mother sucks elephantcock"

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they finally found a coffin for gary coleman, it even has his name on it.

2vJCG.jpg

TOO SOON?

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hahah that picture reminds me of an old one:

why did the kid fall off his bike?

someone threw a refrigerator at him.

why did the midget fall off his bike?

someone threw a mini fridge at him

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i was just the victim of a crank call:

me: 'allo

13-y.o. boy: hello, you have just won $15000 from WXTI (i forget what he said), the radio station.

me: perfect. can i have that in ones?

13-y.o.: err... yes, how would you like to receive it?

me: put it in a briefcase and put it in the mcdonald's men's room in fifteen minutes.

13: we can't do that. this is a radio station. you have to pick it up.

me: what is the address?

13: in my balls bitch.

<click>

shame he hung up so soon. i felt like it was just getting interesting.

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tumblr_l315wvr6pk1qz4yvto1_500.jpg

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

BA DUM TISHHHHHH

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Why do girls have two sets of lips?

One is for arguing, the other is for apologizing.

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What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, but anal sex makes your whole week!

(more of a spoken joke really...)

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Oh man oh man, I felt shit today!! Fucking cheap toilet paper....

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what do you call a black pilot?

a pilot you fucking racist

my dad tells this one all the time. funny shit is that he's pretty racist.

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what's the difference between jam and marmalade

you can't marmalade your cock down a girls throat

thanks, mike.

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I nut on my gf's forehead, then wipe my cum across it with my thumb as I lean down and whisper in her ear "Simba"

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what did the dead head say when he ran out of weed

man this music sucks~~

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Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But Doctor... I am Pagliacci."

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