Superawkward

[Layne]

when i'm drunk i basically sit down when i piss

also whatup to smoking wihle shitting

chewing gum while shitting is weird tho

shitting while tripping on shrooms is probably one of the weirder experiences i've had

[playdisonlyatnight]

im riding the subway sitting beside my girlfriend, looking straight ahead of us into a glass divider. the train went under a bridge and we were staring right into our reflections on the glass. i stuck my tongue out and winked and shit at my girl's reflection. the train then emerges from under the bridge and i am looking through the glass into the eyes of some thugged out gangsta looking dude who thought i was blowing kisses at him lol

sounds like he was gonna do this

is this from Cruising? i want to see that flick

@OkayOkay amazing....

Edited August 9, 2012 by playdisonlyatnight

[playdisonlyatnight]

from youtube:

"In an interview with the director,William Friedkin explained the puzzling interrogation scene in which a black cop, wearing only a jockstrap and a cowboy hat, walks in and smacks Al Pacino. The silent character was apparently based on a real person that NYPD used to elicit criminal confessions. Cops figured that if perpetrators protested that their confession had been coerced by a jockstrapped black cowboy, nobody would believe it."

[jakie]

was jammin hard baked as fuck near the front at asap at osheaga, black bitch right in front of me with the hugest ass had her thin silk pants sucked in her asscheeks. the crowd was so packed, and for the first bit of the show my dick was literally grinding in between her asscheeks from people pushing and dancing. i got many dirty stares

[flyhigh]

when i'm drunk i basically sit down when i piss

also whatup to smoking wihle shitting

chewing gum while shitting is weird tho

One time in highschool I walked into the toilets only to see one of my teachers on the urinal, eating a sandwich in one hand and his dick in the other. Shit is messed up

[tac0tron]

Getting a birthday bj while my aunts and cousin sing happy birthday to me on the phone.

Edited August 10, 2012 by tacotron

[OkayOkay]

i am looking through the glass into the eyes of some thugged out gangsta looking dude who thought i was blowing kisses at him lol

DEAD hahahahaha

[gettoasty]

timing it all wrong and walking into the restroom with a "senior advisor" only to wash my hand and wait for him to finish peeing so we can continue our conversation from the get go.

/i had to go pee too damn my life

[unouomedude]

______________________________________________________________

Edited August 13, 2012 by unouomedude

[wesc]

^ if she was cute why shrug her off bro?

[tombrown]

'the indie band tennis'

[saffronrevolution]

my friends have dragged me to seeing tennis twice at this point, and I have regretted going both times. also, the last time I went they had the absolute worst opener, some electro-pop-rock gang of bearded bros who couldnt get the crowd moving whatsoever. needless to say their act as a whole was pretty awkward, but this was like four months ago at this point

[unouomedude]

^ if she was cute why shrug her off bro?

my sister was with me and I only have 2 weeks before i go back to NY for uni so I didnt feel like meeting anybody new. what was really awkward was I could tell that the gurl and her friend was staring back at me and my sis

'the indie band tennis'

not trying to be cool by including 'the indie band' but if i didnt some would think of the sport

Edited August 13, 2012 by unouomedude

[Augustus]

^ lmfao

[ifeelasleep]

ninja edit, couldn't read the story man...

like your avatar of the indie band cults

Edited August 13, 2012 by ifeelasleep

[wesc]

my sister was with me and I only have 2 weeks before i go back to NY for uni so I didnt feel like meeting anybody new. what was really awkward was I could tell that the gurl and her friend was staring back at me and my sis

pshhhh DONT TELL Me you couldnt DO WORK in a span of 2 weeks to get it in and play the ohhh I gotta go back to school but when I come back we can chill.... SEE YA LATERS , even with the sister coulda just grabbed them digits and measurements and be it.

[anno]

1234567890

Edited July 23, 2013 by anno

[hahapete]

I went out to lunch yesterday with these people I used to hang out with years ago. One of the dudes causally said to me, "I've found the best way to meet new girls is to respond to missing pet flyers on the street. You just gotta tell them like, 'Hey I saw your cat/dog over here, I think' and invite them over. Maybe from there you go with her to look for the missing pet, and then coffee afterwards, and yeah. Keep in touch, 'Oh have you found your dog?' and see what happens from there. Hopefully she found her pet but if she didn't, you have more chances to connect. Girls are really vulnerable when shit like that happens, man. You gotta exploit it, but not in a bad way. What's a better word in this situation? Exploit seems too sinister."

[ifeelasleep]

10 years ago, when i was in 6th grade we went out on this field trip to a mountain, the plan was to stay up there for a weekend. while we were hiking, this dude steps on some kind of hornet's nests, a grip of them, so we ran down the hill.i was right behind him so i got stung about 30 times, mainly on my head... i was taken to the doctor and i got a shot, threw up everything i had eaten on the field trip up to that point, mainly nacho cheese dip, andI spent the weekend in the bus, drifting in and out of consciousness. i used to sleep walk so that just amplified the weirdness of the experience.

on the last night of the trip i remember waking up to go and take a piss, then i have this flash of memory of me going to take another leak, but its a very vague recollection, like a déjàvu.when i woke up one of my classmates "had pissed himself", his sleeping bag was soaked, i said nothing of course, ever.

dude got shit for years.

i was really drunk yesterday and i might've told him.

edit: told him

Edited August 27, 2012 by ifeelasleep

[redX]

last weekend i visited my brother in berlin and we went out partying so all of a sudden this dude walks up to me and strikes up a conversation and i do NOT recall this guy at all. needless to say at this point of the evening i'm pretty fucked up

so he tells me we both graduated in the same class and i'm just confused as hell... i'm usually very good at remembering faces so that also threw me off. to make things worse my brother (who went to the same school) actually confirmed what that dude was saying. in the end this dude was looking pretty dissappointed that i didn't recall anything and i guess we went our separate ways because i didn't see him around in the club we went to later

so now i'm back at home and it just hits me like a train who this guy is. i'm super embarrassed - so should i contact him on facebook or just let that whole story die and act like it never happened?

Edited August 26, 2012 by redX

[mapclub]

A couple of folks at work and I have an ongoing joke where we add - "you're fired" into conversation and in internal emails to each other so later on when there is a lot of work to do we can say "you're hired".

half way through another normal day i told this co worker he was fired when he refused to buy me a chocolate bar.

he thought it was funnier than it really should be.. but the boss standing next to him looked amazed and just stared at me

co worker took me aside and told me he'd just walked out of a private meeting where that boss actually just fired him.

[NatseOklim]

On the peeing whilst standing/sitting tip, peeing standing is better as you just need to get your dick over your waistband/through the flies (depending on what you're wearing) to piss, rather than pulling everything down to your ankles.

[shinobi2000]

On the peeing whilst standing/sitting tip, peeing standing is better as you just need to get your dick over your waistband/through the flies (depending on what you're wearing) to piss, rather than pulling everything down to your ankles.

when I get filthy rich I'm gonna install a full wall urinal (you know, the waterfalls they have at some fancy restaurants). That way where ever my raging morning wood is pointing it will get inside the intended space...

ha ha ha ha are we STILL on this topic?? Then my raging morning hard on will be here until this topic dies down!

[DismalDuke]

i don't like sitting down to pee when i have a boner because it touches the water in the bowl and possibly gives you aids.

[ranonranonarat]

im beyond shocked that your wiener droops so low into the poop water when you have a boner.

Edited August 27, 2012 by ranonranonarat

[Denton]

I always stand a few feet away and then rapidly shuffle forward as the stream dies down so I don't dribble everywhere

pretty foolproof imo

[Howzitboy]

I always stand a few feet away and then rapidly shuffle forward as the stream dies down so I don't dribble everywhere

pretty foolproof imo

i do it the opposite way. i start close then see how far back i can get before missing!

[Denton]

i meant when i have a hardon not always always

you must have a weak stream/huge bathroom though

[e0d9n0b5]

somebody told me peeing standing causes uric acid buildup in your colon???????? i don't think its true....

[wurm]

I can't imagine it being true.