Superawkward

[dismalfuture]

One time I was saying goodbye to this girl I liked, and she stepped towards me so I put both of my arms up anticipating a hug, but instead she just waved.. so I waved back -- both arms outstretched, raised above my waist, with both hands...

I'll do you one better.

I had returned from overseas, and this girl ran into me, and was surprised to see me, so she calls out my name, comes running over. I anticipated a handshake or hand holding moment and must've blanked out at the same time, while she had a hug in mind. Next thing you know, I am sticking my outstretched hand, poking my fingers into her gut, preventing the hug. Yeah.

I think this has happened more than a few times actually, I'm not much of a hug greeter.

[bouwnt]

*slow clap*

ahh hrm. that was probably awkward

[branespload]

I'll do you one better.

I had returned from overseas, and this girl ran into me, and was surprised to see me, so she calls out my name, comes running over. I anticipated a handshake or hand holding moment and must've blanked out at the same time, while she had a hug in mind. Next thing you know, I am sticking my outstretched hand, poking my fingers into her gut, preventing the hug. Yeah.

I think this has happened more than a few times actually, I'm not much of a hug greeter.

No no, in your scenario she actually wanted to hug you, and you at least got some physical contact. Is it sad that I want to be the more awkward one?

[salaryman]

I'll do you one better.

I anticipated a handshake or hand holding moment and must've blanked out at the same time, while she had a hug in mind. Next thing you know, I am sticking my outstretched hand, poking my fingers into her gut, preventing the hug.

5) Haha--the gut stab, I've seen it happen.

When in doubt, expect a hug-greet from a girl if you haven't seen her more than 2 weeks. If she doesn't initiate, then you should because she probably would feel less awkward that way. Again, just make a decision and commit to it.

Whatever you do, don't hesistate during that 2 second window when you can decide to hug or not, because then ....

*she/ you step in consider reaching for a hug but aren't fully committed to the idea*

*no clear effort for reciprocation by the other party*

*other party realizes there was a hug attempt but cannot recover now--only resort is looking down, around, or for someone to show up and save the day. no one is coming*

*both parties retreat in a devasting loss to awkwardness, setting the stage for this conversation.....

" ...so you're back"

"yeah."

"cool."

"yeah....."

"alright then...."

"yeah, see you around"

[timber]

I know a guy who's pretty awkward who also asked me and my sister out within a week of each other (even though we both had boyfriends). Once I was with Diamonds and a few friends and the guy stopped me on the street and totally ignored everyone else and started having what was sort of like a close-friend-conversation, and it was kind of weird, so I sort of smiled at one of my friends distractedly and then the guy leaned in and put his hand on my should and said, in a dead serious voice, "...Sarah, are you alright? You can tell me if you aren't...."

And I said I was fine but I had to go watch a movie....fare welllllll....

[geekbonchic]

Today at work, I was changing the window dressings when this lady walked up to me with a piece of paper.

"Is this yours?"

"Um. No."

I took a glance and it was a class syllabus for some massage course being taught at one of the many local hippie-dippie places.

"Well. I'll just leave this in the planter in case the person decides to come back for it."

She happily walked away, looking very satisfied with her good deed.

[salaryman]

And I said I was fine but I had to go watch a movie....fare welllllll....

Well played Timber. I hope you actually said "farewell" because it has strong connotations of finality and is a an excellent way to convey to the other party how awkward they have made you feel.

Let's use this example to learn another lesson.

6) Avoid addressing one member of a group directly with a serious question/topic/anything in front of other people, especially when they are good friends and are going to talk about you when you leave.

You don't walk into a room of people watching a movie and start asking Tiffany about her sister's abortion last week, believe me, this is awkward.

[marie]

The people at my school are so obsessed with saying awkward it makes me irrationally angry. The party isn't always awkward, it just sucks. Not every silence is awkward either, like, fuck.

uhm, do we go to the same school ?

[shekki]

Seeing someone you know that you haven't seen in a long time and or someone that you don't really like and then trying to avoid eye contact. That fails and you're in this situation where you're like uhh hey?

[malaesthetique]

I woke up this morning mildly hung over and stumbled out of bed, onto the street, and down to the corner coffee shop. Fortunately I had brushed my teeth but had not yet showered so of course i looked like a fucking mess. Upon exiting the coffee shop I noticed a girl who was the spitting image of my ex from 8 years ago. I started grinning like an idiot walked over to her and called out "Marie!" She turned to look at me with this disgusted look on her face. At first i just thought "well I dumped this girl pretty suddenly when she went on vacation with her family, so naturally shes not that happy to see me." Then i realized "ohh shit this isn't her, FUCK!" Then her boyfriend turns around and says with an aggressive tone "can i help you with something bro?" Extremely Akward.

[futuredwight]

Meeting someone that your current girlfriend fucked.

This may happen to me in the near future.

How 2 act?

[salaryman]

This may happen to me in the near future.

How 2 act?

7) Just remember who's tapping it now and you'll have no problem.

If you seem insecure and act territorial toward the guy, i.e. being awkward, its clear you've got something to worry about. If you don't give a fuck because you know your girl is content now, all will be well. DON'T try some bullshit like trying to be all over the girl in front of everyone.

[marie]

7) Just remember who's tapping it now and you'll have no problem.

If you seem insecure and act territorial toward the guy, i.e. being awkward, its clear you've got something to worry about. If you don't give a fuck because you know your girl is content now, all will be well. DON'T try some bullshit like trying to be all over the girl in front of everyone.

TRUUUTTHH.

Your girl will pick up on your "act" too. And instead of seeming "protective" it'll turn her off of you for a bit.

[camc]

When you swipe your I.D card at uni to get into the lab's and theres someone on the other side of the door waiting for you to swipe and then your card doesnt work. they have to fumble around for their I.D and do the swiping. (if theirs doesnt work either then you both laugh and the awkwardness is dispelled).

when you say "maybe he's been beaten" in response to the your friends' friends dog cowering in the presence of people.

[futuredwight]

7) Just remember who's tapping it now and you'll have no problem.

If you seem insecure and act territorial toward the guy, i.e. being awkward, its clear you've got something to worry about. If you don't give a fuck because you know your girl is content now, all will be well. DON'T try some bullshit like trying to be all over the girl in front of everyone.

Makes sense. + Rep

[alexryb]

One time, in the seventh grade,

I was convinced for an entire day that

"get" was spelled with an 'h'.

[uparmoured]

Once a lady, who's mother had just jumped off a building and died, came over to the house. At that time I was around 14 and covered in scratches and scars from skateboarding. Some of these scratches were around my wrist from a run in with a thorny bush. The lady asked how did you get those scratches. I pointed to my wrist and jestingly said, "I was trying to commit suic..." pausing right there as the awkwardness of the situation enveloped me...

[koosh17]

fuck. my life.

try having an amazon of a woman walk into the elevator with a mildly attractive man while you're standing there, hair all over the place, all sweaty from a workout, holding your mail while they're decked out in their suits.

and then try having them hit the number 40 on the elevator panel.

yeah.

happened to me twenty minutes ago.

[zzzboy]

wow scoki i thought i was the only one that goes crazy after reading a word over and over.

on another note, do you guys uncontrollably shiver when you pee? like it could be warm and everything, then out of nowhere you just violently shiver for a second...

[Vaclav]

Someday it, feels awkard to sit alone at, the bar staring , at the bottles , to pretend that you are, looking for some special, spirit hoping, that the other lookers , don't know that, you are, only trying to, occupy your, eyes without to appear for them, that , you feel without, a friend .

[onemancult]

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/410866.html

[zzzboy]

OMFG IM NORMAL

thats good to know...

anyways, it sucks when you go for a hug, and the girl has her arms in the same place as you, causing one awkward hug =(

[raWorkshop]

uhm, do we go to the same school ?

Syracuse? It's an epidemic, just like North Face fleeces, Timberland boots and ho leggings.

Remember kids, add a "SO!" infront of your awkward, just so people know how it really was.

[geekbonchic]

While putting away some hangers, a teenager walks in. Big, baggy jeans. Oversized white t-shirt. Backwards cap. Gold grill.

For the next ten minutes he continues to ask me about the brands we carry, our price points, our target customers, et cetera. He winds up liking some Taverniti jeans, but tells me he'll come back another day for them; he needs to cash his check.

As he leaves and I walk back to the register, he stops and turns around.

"You kinda cute."

"Wh..what?"

"You kinda cute. Where your boyfriend at?"

"I don't have one."

"Why not?"

"Too busy. Work, school. You know, busy stuff."

"You got a phone number?"

I proceeded to stammer and button up a shirt for the next two minutes, handed him the store's card, and wished him a good day.

[kunk75]

you'll have to fuck the ex-boyfriend, too, to equalize everything.

7) Just remember who's tapping it now and you'll have no problem.

If you seem insecure and act territorial toward the guy, i.e. being awkward, its clear you've got something to worry about. If you don't give a fuck because you know your girl is content now, all will be well. DON'T try some bullshit like trying to be all over the girl in front of everyone.

[riskyrukus]

This is a sad image.

4) When its time to say goodbye to a girl you like, take the initiative, step up and show that you are going to hug her. Then neither party is wondering--"are we going to do the wave goodbye? or the hug goodbye? who has the penis again?"

+ rep on that reply, well said

[Hella Hyphy]

"You kinda cute."

"Wh..what?"

"You kinda cute. Where your boyfriend at?"

"I don't have one."

"Why not?"

"Too busy. Work, school. You know, busy stuff."

"You got a phone number?"

I proceeded to stammer and button up a shirt for the next two minutes, handed him the store's card, and wished him a good day.

[camc]

Salaryman needs his own thread for dishing out advice on successful human interactions.

Its awkward when you see somebody at the supermarket and after talking to them you continue with your shopping only to pass them in the aisles 5 or 6 times again. Youre compelled to say something crap like "We meet again".. "Havent seen you in a while".. etc. I find it that disconcerting that i pretty much have to leave once ive spoken to someone or spend the rest of my trip peering around the corners of the aisles so as to avoid another encounter.

Salaryman - whats the protocol? Smile and nod, blatantly ignore or painfully unfunny one-liner?

[Charlie Delta]

On forgetting peoples names:

The trick is, when you get introduced to someone new, instead of focussing on having to say your own name, you should repeat their name, thus making a small mental imprint of it...

Ex:

other person: "Hi, I'm X"

you: "Oh Hi X, nice meeting you, I'm Cotton."

It works!

I always forget doing it though, so I still rarely remember someones name, Akward...

On hugs:

I don't see any other option than to post this again,

[thescott]

Ya and you know when end up leaving the bar with some dime piece and going back to her place, only you're so drunk you pass out on her couch while she's in the washroom. She can't wake you up cuz you've had 3 Belfast car bombs too many so she leaves you there drooling on a pillow shoes still on cigerette burning in the ashtray. Then the unthinkable happens. You wet the bed/couch for the first time since you were 13.