shit you hate

[broneck]

Excuse the size and petulance of this post. A number of people have pm'd me or plus repped me etc. asking for some kind of story about what exactly makes me want to stab myself repeatedly in the eyeballs every time I step into the office in the morning, so here's the dirty laundry. (this could've gone in "what are you doing with your life" but I really hope that this isn't what I'm doing with my life, just the next few months).

First of all, I didn't study finance, nor am I particularly well versed in the institutional finance that a lot of you are studying. I work in retail banking, which essentially means that I provide mortgages, visas, auto or marine loans, lines of credit, etc...all the shit that keeps a significant percentage of SuFu well dressed and poor. After university I took the first job that came along, one that paid $40k plus bonus, benefits too numerous to list, and got the fuck out of a small town and into Toronto.

I was bright-eyed fresh faced when I first started. I consider myself fairly astute and better than average when it comes to maintaining good rapport with the clients I've had in past jobs, so I really thought I'd be good at this job, and I was excited to start. But over the course of 8 months of employment, any and all motivation I had to succeed in the position was worn away by a combination of the following: middle management, corporate culture, co-workers, and an overall sense of the worthlessness of my position.

Middle Management

Anyone studying finance, business, or maybe even sociology, is probably familiar with the Peter Principle: the Principle that on a long enough time line everyone is promoted to exactly their point of incompentence (the logic being that, if you're not getting promoted past your position, it's probably because you're not very good at the job you're currently doing). The reason it's called the Peter Principle and not the Peter Theory is because it's totally fucking true, and the proof is in middle management. There is no more useless or counterproductive entity on the planet than a middle manager. Anyone who has ever watch "the Wire" knows well enough how useless and ultimately stupid someone like the Deputy Ops or some asshole Major like Valchek can be.

I have worked at two locations under two different managers since starting my career with the bank, and both of them have done more to disrupt client relationships, stoke already flaring tempers, and foster disunity and ill-will among their employees than they have to actually contribute to the well being of the work place.

My co-workers and I joke about how useless my current manager is, but it's become less of a joke lately. He literally cannot perform the most basic functions of his own job. Today he interrupted my lunch in a panic about some crisis that had crossed his desk, and how it needed my immediate attention because "while Bob's on vacation, you're the only licensed investment representative here!"

I had to point out to him that he himself is a licensed rep, a point which he has forgotten because he has no idea a.) how to use our computer systems or b.) what the bank's policies are. there have been numerous occaisions where he has enlisted me to do tasks that it is against policy for me to perform, simply because he can't figure out how to do them himself. This brings us to...

Corporate Culture

Corporations are like governments - they're giant bureaucracies where there is a decision made by one individual, and the consquences of this policy decision can reach thousands or millions with unintended consequences (if you don't watch the Wire, maybe you've heard of the 2008 Sub-Prime Crisis). So, when our group head rolls out a sales goal of $12,000,000 in new business per sales officer, I am expected to meet this goal.

Now, corporations also have a chain of command (also like in the Wire! fun!). I report to my manager, who reports to the district manager, who reports to the district vice president, etc. So, I can never tell the DVP why I'm not meeting my sales goal because I'd be going above my manager and his manager's heads. When the DVP yells at his underlings, ultimately I'm going to have to get yelled at by my Manager.

As you can imagine, it's not ideal for me to tell my manager that my sales are low because I spend all my time doing the retarded menial shit that my manager, himself, is supposed to be doing, and that if he weren't such an imcompetent fuck maybe I'd have more time to do my job. But, due to the corporate structure, I can't tell anyone else that can do shit about it either.

The frustration caused by this unending chain of bitching is compounded by my manager bitching at me to focus on my own work, and remember that my first priority is and always will be sales (before coming and dropping a big fat servicecomplaint on my desk 10 minutes later).

This corporate culture pumps other bullshit from the top too. A policy idea that might sound great to the CEO ("We're not going to offer competitive rates because we will be the Bank of Expertise! We'll use superior knowledge of finances to save people money, and then the rates we offer won't even matter.") are complete bullshit when they hit the ground ("Yes, these people are leveraged to the tits, the only thing that will possibly save them money is the lower rate that our competitor is offering them.") This wouldn't be so bad if more people disagreed with it - specifically the middle management, who either believes the shit that actually comes out of his mouth, or is really great at pretending. Which brings me to...

Co-Workers

I'll keep this one short. The people I work with are either a.) uneducated enough to buy into the bullshit that rolls from the top and therefore infuriating or b.) have been here long enough that they've given up caring. Now, I've given up caring, but only to the extent that it pertains to my own successes. Working with a service team comprised of 50 year old women who treat your clients like shit because they're just trying to "catch their shows" is a pretty quick way to turn you sour on the others in your office. Not that all of this comes back to middle management, but the Pontius Pilate technique is not one that I'm fond of.

A feeling of overall worthlessness

Basically, I move money around. I rarely do anything truly good for my clients. Maybe I'll save them a few bucks here and there, but for the most part it's very difficult to do anything really stellar except make people feel good about their finances. And here's why I've decided I want nothing to do with any financial position ever again: mostly because I feel like the grass isn't going to be any greener anywhere else. At any other big bank, I might find some things I like much more, but there will be something stupid and retarded, and it will once again be a product of working for a corporation with 50,000 employees. I could get out of sales, but there would be similarly shitty pressures from all sides that are ultimately irrational and full of shit - I can't express to you the number of times I've actually found myself "juking the stats", or the number of times I've actually heard the sentence "you've gotta play the game".

my old room mate worked for some I-Banking firm downtown, and he made more than me and was more knowledgable about investing and finance than me. He quit for all the reasons mentioned here. There was always some bullshit to deal with, some stupid decision that meant some menial retarded task for him that he would ultimately be bitched at for doing.

Are all jobs in finance this bad? Obviously, once you get past the bullshit at the bottom, probably not. My mom worked at this company for 37 years and made a killing doing what she did. To be honest, I'm jealous of her in a lot of ways, but in a lot of ways she frustrates me because she's part of the world that fucks with my world on a daily basis. The people making decisions that roll down, and make everything shitty. I could work through it, get past it, and be successful here. Ironically, I think it's largely my educational background that makes me unable to do this. I spent 4 years learning how to question things, figure out logical solutions to problems, think critically, only to wind up in a job where if you do any of that shit you fail. My mom just says "You think too much."

Fuck it.

[broneck]

I really hope that doesn't sound too much like a spoiled brat bitching about how hard he has it, but when this is lterally how you spend 75% of your waking life it really does suck. There are definitely unemployed people out there with a better overall outlook than I currently have (though probably not homeless people).

[jyoni]

Some good reading for you, Clopek. It's been criticized as being too basic, but that's kind of the point. It won't help you beyond commiseration, but yeah you'll see fields and waves of people you could just fucking fire. Looks like you can scoop up a used one for a penny.

http://www.amazon.com/Execution-Discipline-Getting-Things-Done/dp/0609610570

[shufon]

Third bronchial infection of this year.. bleh.

[Oxy.]

people who ride my bumper all the way until i make a turn causing them to almost rear end me when i have already given the signal that i am going to turn in the appropriate amount of time for them to realize they should back off. what's worse is the person had the nerve to beep at me. it's your fucking fault for trying to ride my tail dumb ass.

assholes who park so close to you that you can barely open your door, and so it calls for you to ask them to move their car over, but yet they have the nerve to bitch you out. i am not a big guy at all, so if i can't get into my car, you're obviously way too close. f'n ridiculous.

i hate driving and drivers.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

i was really hungry, so i copped a donor kebab - as you do - and now i feel so filthy. never again.

until i'm starving

[OkayOkay]

assholes who park so close to you that you can barely open your door, and so it calls for you to ask them to move their car over, but yet they have the nerve to bitch you out. i am not a big guy at all, so if i can't get into my car, you're obviously way too close. f'n ridiculous.

i hate driving and drivers.

on this note, people with nicer cars that act like assholes and park in 2 spaces, straddling the line. Whenever I get the opportunity I park as close as possible to their driver's side door so there's no chance of them getting in, and either have to crawl across the passenger seat or go through the trunk. I'm pretty sure they won't be vindictive enough to dent their own door trying to fuck with me, and I'm willing to accept the possibility of being keyed at some point.

[mapclub]

6AM wake up about to go clean kitchen before folks wake up to start the day off on a nice gesture.

get a faceful of expletives because there are cupcakes missing from psycho who is already awake and who knows I don't eat them but has to swear at SOMEONE of course.

fml. can't wait to move.

[mpc60]

flopping in soccer, can't stand this !

[wrong_move]

The people I work with are either a.) uneducated enough to buy into the bullshit that rolls from the top and therefore infuriating or b.) have been here long enough that they've given up caring.

Not in finance, but that sounds exactly like my workplace a year ago... I realized that this is probably common in most medium-big sized corporations so I put up with it for a while. I quit two weeks before my contract was up.

Quite a few of my friends have been slaving for a few years in entry level gigs, they told me that the only reason they play along is to get a better job somewhere else. I guess it really is pointless to challenge the status quo if you want to be successful in the corporate world until you get to a position to change things

[jayrock]

i'm defo at the not caring stage of my career

[haploid]

i hate people who drive at exactly the speed limit on back country roads where its obvious there is not a single policeman for 10 square miles

[samsikle]

i'm done with people who message you every single time you're online. back the fuck up a minute, damn. going into hiding.

[souljaboy]

i fucken hate people who dont message me when i'm online. wake the fuck up! quit playin dead!

[ohsnap]

people who go to concerts and stand around

especially if everybody's dancing/moshing/cooking

[Bona Drag]

WHY THE FUCK IS FUCKlNG EBAY ALWAYS SO FUCKlNG SLOW

JESUS H FUCK THlS SHIT IS LlKE A FUCKING JOKE

[Lozinski]

people who go to concerts and stand around

especially if everybody's dancing/moshing/cooking

The fuck is cooking? I've never moshed or anything simply because I've never felt the need to. I would rather go fight someone (sparring) to get some frustration out.

What I hate during shows is when a small group of people try to start a mosh pit 'for the lulz' right behind you when there's either: a) clearly an area for that shit or the scene/band is not even relevant to mosh pits.

By mosh pit, I mean those god damn pushy pushy punk rock pit thangs.

[mago_san_2d_god]

The fuck is cooking? I've never moshed or anything simply because I've never felt the need to. I would rather go fight someone (sparring) to get some frustration out.

What I hate during shows is when a small group of people try to start a mosh pit 'for the lulz' right behind you when there's either: a) clearly an area for that shit or the scene/band is not even relevant to mosh pits.

By mosh pit, I mean those god damn pushy pushy punk rock pit thangs.

lil b is disappointed with you

[amardeep]

ugh

[Oxy.]

people who go to concerts and stand around

especially if everybody's dancing/moshing/cooking

I wish I could rep you, I really do, but I can't. This is a big pet peeve of mine.

I've never moshed or anything simply because I've never felt the need to. I would rather go fight someone (sparring) to get some frustration out.

You're missing out.

[michaelttizzle]

this du posting up his spoken word poetry everywhere on facebook

[okonomi]

ugh

This is why maths is annoying though. Why not just put some fuckin spaces in there?

people who go to concerts and stand around

especially if everybody's dancing/moshing/cooking

I wish people would actually dance at concerts. Totally dissatisfied with this jumping up and down with one arm in the air nonsense.

[shufon]

This is why maths is annoying though. Why not just put some fuckin spaces in there?

Seriously? Smh..

[okonomi]

Why are you so unpleasant all the time?

Lots of people dislike maths.

[OkayOkay]

this du posting up his spoken word poetry everywhere on facebook

or people posting deeply personal shit on FB. Not to be super insensitive, and I get that it's traumatic, but I haven't seen you in a decade and I know all about your Dad's medical issues and how much of a piece of shit your ex is? Awesome. Delete.

[Oscur]

or people posting deeply personal shit on FB. Not to be super insensitive, and I get that it's traumatic, but I haven't seen you in a decade and I know all about your Dad's medical issues and how much of a piece of shit your ex is? Awesome. Delete.

^this or people who change their status every time something goes wrong. man up

[mrip]

people who go to concerts and stand around

especially if everybody's dancing/moshing/cooking

some times you are too baked, not into the band, tired or just dont feel like dancing

[sybaritical]

Other times, you live in London.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

Pow !

[Iwmmm]

I fucking hate the rain.