Team DMZ

[dismalfuture]

the selection is extensive too.

It's an extensive collection of crap. It's the equivalent of going into a store and having your choice of 30 kinds of domestic light beer. I once bought a pack of 'Han ma eum' made in N.K. smokes (now discontinued) for shits and giggles, first-world cigarettes for me please.

[Fuuma]

It's an extensive collection of crap. It's the equivalent of going into a store and having your choice of 30 kinds of domestic light beer. I once bought a pack of 'Han ma eum' made in N.K. smokes (now discontinued) for shits and giggles, first-world cigarettes for me please.

I can't travel for long to places where they don't sell Gauloises. I can make do with Newports though...

[dismalfuture]

We have neither in Asia, unfortunately. We have fake Raison, which are about as Fronchie as you will get over there. I once came across some little corner store like 6 years ago though, where I bought a pack of Portugues. You never know what you will find in the DMZ.

We don't have the 10-carton duty-free suitcases of Benson and Hedges like they sell at Heathrow either, but cartons of much better brands than are offered to the savage plebes are like $16 at the airport and you can throw in some convenient tetra-pak Soju for the thirsts, so a trip to Korea is like the gift that keeps on giving, long after you've left. That is what I call hospitality.

[madeinkorea23]

i tried a pack of those raisons in korea and i was like . dunhill lights weren't that bad honestly

[dismalfuture]

Dunhill Lights were my go-to for a couple years, but I kept coming back around to Marlboros. In Korea, Marlboro keep switching production around; originally many years back they were all made in the USA, then a few years back they went to Korean-made (not that great), and as of late the Swiss or German versions were popping up, which are preferrable.

When at home I often smoked Cigarillos instead, Jose L Piedra for the day to day and Cohiba when feeling celebratory.

[dismalfuture]

Seeing as though I've had 21mg of nicotine taped to my arm for the past month, I would like to change the topic from smoking back to picking up 18 year old tenderoni girls, if that is ok with everyone.

[deedotceedot]

Don't you have some good room salon tales to share dismal?

[dismalfuture]

I was kind of waiting for dizz to take it away on that one...

[madeinkorea23]

tenderonis are a fine subject. but most korean high schoolers look so innocent. i dont see any of that american slutiness in korean high school girls.

[dismalfuture]

Once long ago, my friends and I went out for evening drinks (as in Korean-style binge drinking til someone passes out and you win every bar you drink in) and decided to go look peruse the whore selection and maybe get some jollies. There's a few places where those kinds of areas are sectioned off and they look like Amsterdam X oriental fantasieZzZ and you have to walk around this labyrinth of cobblestone paths.

Suddenly there's this little little old lady waving her arms at us and shouting, and we figured we'd pissed her off somehow and the three of us started sprinting for dear life through these back alleys of the red light district, all fucked up on whiskey still. I'd say we ran for about 5 minutes until the lady jumped out in front of us from some side alley. We about shit a brick but it turned out my friend had unknowingly dropped his wallet and the old lady was just a friendly pimp from one of the brothels we'd passed by.

[dismalfuture]

miK, I can challenge you on that dude. I've even seen a tenderoni girl walk around the park in a full sailor outfit on a Sunday, Yoyogi Park steez. You bring your self, I will provide the crocheted skull cap with chipmunk ears that I will force you to wear in clubs, and we will be up to our fucking ears in tenderoni girls in no time.

[dunkin deeznuts]

Once long ago, my friends and I went out for evening drinks (as in Korean-style binge drinking til someone passes out and you win every bar you drink in) and decided to go look peruse the whore selection and maybe get some jollies. There's a few places where those kinds of areas are sectioned off and they look like Amsterdam X oriental fantasieZzZ and you have to walk around this labyrinth of cobblestone paths.

Suddenly there's this little little old lady waving her arms at us and shouting, and we figured we'd pissed her off somehow and the three of us started sprinting for dear life through these back alleys of the red light district, all fucked up on whiskey still. I'd say we ran for about 5 minutes until the lady jumped out in front of us from some side alley. We about shit a brick but it turned out my friend had unknowingly dropped his wallet and the old lady was just a friendly pimp from one of the brothels we'd passed by.

thats your story? i thought you were going to say that you and your friends ran train on the old lady and some of you were eating kim chi off her old sagging breasts!!!

[dismalfuture]

dunkin, she was more like this (except less third-world):

Anyhow, she was indeed a friendly, honest pimp, running for 5 minutes to give back the wallet. 10/10 A+++ would do business with again, honest pimp.

[ddohnggo]

lulzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[dunkin deeznuts]

thats HOT!! cobwebs = extra tight!!

and the things you could do with that bamboo stick!!

and isnt a female asian pimp a mama san?

[whitney]

whitney did you ever go to Koko House in Berkeley on Telegraph? Their chicken was pretty legendary, but maybe second to the cocktail soju in carafes that they'd willingly serve to anyone old enough to walk...

No but thanks for the tip

This thread moves so fast ar, I was just on 119.

Where's the old gs of this thrad anyways? The ones that aren't banned...

[sleazie ninja number 47]

where's analog? oh yeah, too busy being wittycharming/flirtatious with girls in their sales threads....

[whitney]

Isn't that the way of DMZ?

[sleazie ninja number 47]

u got that right baybay...

[Analog]

[dismalfuture]

don't blow the spot on my zine dude (2)

[sleazie ninja number 47]

dass why he's counter intell...

[sleazie ninja number 47]

Analog, our female members have not been pulling their weight and as a result our dear leader's dung has not been mee-ruh'd in weeks! we might have to look elsewhere for reinforcements/new recruits, i.e. whitney.

Where's ann, after setting the world on fire with her 1000 posts in a week, she is no where to be found. I mean c'mon, I have no idea whats been playing on her ipod for several weeks.

[dismalfuture]

our dear leader's dung has not been mee-ruh'd in weeks! we might have to look elsewhere for reinforcements/new recruits

I'd like to nominate Hedior for this position...

[sleazie ninja number 47]

I'd like to nominate Hedior for this position...

BLAOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sleazie ninja number 47]

we do offer a superfreak training program, but dizzhizz is currently tweaking the performance portion of the two part final, which may or may not include a gymnastics floor routine, mechanical bullriding, egun kimchi tolerance/torture test, and of course, the aforementioned dung (and in general "ddeh") mee ruh wun skillz aka back scrubbing skillz.

Someone will be contacting you shortly. kthnxbye!

[madeinkorea23]

haha wow great story. dismal im ready to meet some true korean highschool tenderonis that can deliver the goods. what do we wear to the clubs?

[madeinkorea23]

ohh whitney is gonna be the new female to join DMZ? how exciting. but i sure do miss kimchinuna wherever the hell she is.

[dismalfuture]

I will be wearing normal cluthez, you will be wearing +++Chipmunk ears conversation starter/general club asshole crocheted knit hat.Supreme.19cm-MIJ.Vans.

[sleazie ninja number 47]

oh and whitney, beware of our house dj madeinkorea23. He will most likely profess his undying love to you, but it is just a ploy to get you to take off your trench coat/leggings, or in the alternative, what he really wants to do is show off his crotch fades on his Dior mij--21cms.

[/cockblock]