crotch bulges, and how to fix them

[Bona Drag]

so, if you think this shoud go in the small q's thread, lock it, flame me and i'll repost there

i won't be offended

but i think it's kind of a big deal, and something that could be helpful to people with all different types of jeans, since bulges don't seem to be all that uncommon

i seem to recall a post by ring ring from waaaaaaay back about how the notorious pbj crotch bulge is easily fixed by folding and/or cutting away some excess fabric around the inside of the fly, but i can't for the life of me find it, and i think he only sort of mentioned it in passing

obviously, i don't want to just casually take a pair of scissors to a new pair of jeans

does anyone know what, where and how to cut?

pictures might help

thanks in advance

[cheep]

embrace the crotch bulge

[blm14]

castration.

[mr fluffernutter]

my rakers have that, it's off to the left and looks like a big nut. i'd cut away the fabric, but who am i to alter god's plan?

[denimdestroyedmylife]

if your crotch does not bulge seek medical attention

or menstruate

all this worry could be solved by not looking at yourself so much

it can be paralyzing

how you look should be a RESULT of your lifestyle not a life goal

they're just jeans

everything fades

supergay everyday

embrace the crotch bulge

the indigo badge of courage

long gays journey into knight

[sybaritical]

Obvious, innit.

Get a smaller crotch.

Wait ...

[Charlie Delta]

I have that, it's off to the left and looks like a big nut. i'd cut away the flesh and skin, but who am i to alter god's plan?

Fixed it for you Diamonds

[braid]

diddy, you crack me up...

[>++fishb0neR]

how you look should be a RESULT of your lifestyle not a life goal

truth.

as long as the buttons are done up

the sock shouldn't show

[dunkin deeznuts]

just let it all hang out like highstreet..........

[Bona Drag]

i hate you all

perhaps 'bulge' is the wrong term; it's more of a droopy bunching of fabric

if it made me look like robert plant back in the day, i would be fine with it

but it looks like excess fabric, not a huge wang n' sack

if it's just a matter of dealing with it, i'd deal with it

but if there's a small alteration I can make to improve the fit of my jeans, i'd like to know what it is

ideally, this would be where chicken or tweedles would jump in with a clear, sober-minded, step-by-step explanation of what exactly ringring meant

or perhaps the master himself

wtf ever happened to that guy?

he rode off into the sunset like shane or something

[>++fishb0neR]

just pop some viagra/cialis/levitra and the loose fabric will be filled out innit

edit: it's like the 'knee bulges' thread..

this shit happens when a stiff frabric is conforming to your body

with all due respect to you, chicken and tweedles, i don't think there's much you can do..or much for them to say...until several washes later, when the jeans 'fall' more naturally/contoured to your frame

i am but a n00b, so perhaps i should just be ignored

[Bona Drag]

see above

i hate you all

anyway, i realized i left the main point out of the op

i'm actually curious b/c of my somet straights, which are ostensibly a low rise jean

i tried a size down from the ones i've got, and couldn't even close the damn things

there does appear to be a ton of extra denim on either side of the inside fly seams, just sort of hanging out...

no one wants to play denim doctor?

[>++fishb0neR]

we know you hate us, but there's probably a reason why the responses were so sarcastic;)

[Guest jeffvyain]

buy different jeans. or grow a bigger wang. or suck it up. or wear em backwards like kris kross and then it'll just look like you shit your pants, which is almost as bad as having a tiny prick, but not quite.

[Bona Drag]

^^

love how this kid always comes hard

i was of course being funny with the hate

and anticipated (and am amused by) the wiseassery

again, if i have to deal, i'll deal

does no one know of/have firsthand experience with the magical ringring fix?

edit: hey looky, a tip

BOOYAH

[denimdestroyedmylife]

jean shops have a selvage fly----that should mean less fabric thus less bulge

but still...

MAN UP!

[Topik]

see above

anyway, i realized i left the main point out of the op

i'm actually curious b/c of my somet straights, which are ostensibly a low rise jean

i tried a size down from the ones i've got, and couldn't even close the damn things

there does appear to be a ton of extra denim on either side of the inside fly seams, just sort of hanging out...

no one wants to play denim doctor?

Most of the time I've noticed this happening is when people wear very tight jeans (maybe too tight) low on on their hips. Wearing tight/skinny jeans isn't flattering for every body type. If your crotch bulge is really bothering you that much I'd suggest heading into your local tailor and seeing what he has to say. Hey, worst case scenario he gets creeped out from staring at your bulge and you're minues one tailor.

[bonanz]

I do remember that post you are talking about by ringring. I just saw it recently when i was looking at some pbj threads...i just tried looking again but was unsuccessful. sorry

[blm14]

this always works

[Bona Drag]

^^

i just hit refresh and got fired

thx!

iirc, ringring just sort of mentioned it in passing, and i don't think i ever saw anyone ask for additional details

although i think it was briefly discussed again later

manning up is an acceptable option, and one i may have to resort to

it's not the end of the world

but again, if a minor fix = signifcant improvement, i'm interested

i thought this kind of thing would get the supernerds excited

and no, i don't mean my package

mostly, anyway

[Duconos los Grecos]

I see what you mean. It has to do with the cut of your jeans, and how loose you wear them. The catastrophic LVC 1955 501 cut from 2006 was the kind of cut that necessarily did that, as the rise was low despite a classic 501 waist construction (i.e. not low-waisted; rather high-crotched),and the legs and waist were ridiculously large. The rise being "tight" and the waist/legs being loose, all the extra fabric tended to create a wave on both legs, right next to the crotch. Conversely, the wave existed within the ass area in the back, creating a "permanent wedgie" effect...

To remedy this, I'm having a seamstress dismantle the whole fly area, removing more material as she leaves the waistband, thus tightening the crotch, and lengthening the rise. The same will be done in the back, , and when the entire rise is stitched back together, she'll take in the thighs, to make them slimmer. Needless to say this is a complicated operation, but it's either do that, or throw out the jeans. And since the denim is the most true-to the original and best-looking I've ever seen, I won't resort to the latter.

Basically, there's a solution to your problem, but it's not an easy one, and could prove quite costly and disappointing (if not given to the right seamstress...)

[ThugLife]

when i wear my sammies it looks like im packing. lol

[indigo_junkie]

Penis reduction surgury! Aw damn. I'm too late, for the smartass comment. Nothing's going to beat that owned pic.

I agree with Duconos. They are a good pair of jeans and it'd be risky doing a hatchet job in a complicated area of the jean such as the crotch. If it bothers you that much, a professional seamstress would be the best bet. Or you could do a lot (LOT) of sumo style squats low rep. Bigger thighs will stretch at the sides of the denim and flatten that groin area out.

[keska]

Wear a dildo on your head, no one will look at your croch.