superconfessional

[salaryman]

I wish i went to college too. and I was enrolled for 5.5 years.

Dismal, what kind of school did you go to? Lot of asians or no?

[dismalfuture]

you and Clopek are kindred spirits.

It was looking pretty bad for me after one semester, I'd already gotten and gotten rid of some girl, stayed pretty drunk, figured that classes were all going to be TA'ed by Ukranians who couldn't speak English and therefore did not attend, and I smoked a lot of bud with the son of one of Obama's possible Vice Presidential selections, because he had a Roor bong and a playstation with a projector, and BEAN BAGS.

[mrchariybrown]

Why?

What would you rather be?

What aspects of your asianness do you hate?

You guys are a pretty sad bunch of tossers. I'm guessing you arent Korean so you have some of those inferior, washed-out asian genes.

actually, I'm a full-blooded korean..

I'd rather be german or something along those lines

[dismalfuture]

Dismal, what kind of school did you go to? Lot of asians or no?

i went to a few different schools. in my senior year of HS i'd gotten a Martin 000-1 and was going to travel around, etc. I graduated and took a trip to Seoul the next day, drank a lot of beer and chased a lot of girls and decided I was gonna figure out a way to go to college there. So I enrolled in some wack ass night school on a US army base in the middle of Seoul, took a class there. I called my dad and said things were alright, i was gonna go to college, and I just needed about 20 grand to start me off right. He said to come home.

So I'm back home in August, I look at what I'd applied to that winter before, and it turns out not much. I'd gotten good test scores, walked with a good GPA, I just didn't really want to go to college. I got full rides to about 3 schools and then tuition only deals from the others, so i kind of turned it over to my mom. My mom dropped me off at the orientation for state school, one of those overnight campus tour jobs, I got down there and met some Korean girl, chinee girl, and a pinay who were all excited about going to college, so I was like 'fuck, me too, I'll see you in September' and that was that.

September rolls around, my dad packs all my stuff up and drives me to my dorm on the first day of the dorms opening, we leave at 7am and make it by 9am, which is right when they opened up the doors. My dad signs in and gets my keys, helps me take all my stuff upstairs, and then says 'bye' and walks off within 5 minutes, with my keys in his pocket. I'm running down College Ave. after my dad who has my keys, and he's not looking in his rearview mirror and gunning it down the street. I caught up with him at the next intersection. Yeah, that was my entrance to college.

blah blah blah, as i mentioned in my previous post, that all went on for about 4 semesters, I dabbled in various majors, various girls, hung out with various wanksters and made some friends, and decided I wanted to see more Korean girls, so I signed up to study abroad. Lo and behold, my school just set up an exchange for Ewha Women's University, the largest all-women's university in the world. No one else wanted to go, so it was all green lights for me.

I was supposed to do the women's college bit for a semester, just blow off some steam. Somehow that turned out to be 2.5 years and like 70 hours of passes given to me by my 25 year old korean girl lecturers on an all pass/fail system. It was like 10 guys and 25,000 girls, so it was tough to leave. Anyhow, I feel like that was really my college experience, the 2.5 years where I actually went to class and studied what I wanted to.

Came back eventually, went back to state school, got drunk some more and complained a lot, grabbed my degree, got back out of there. I walked with like 144 credits, so I'm thinking i will go back and get another degree in something else before my window closes. Maybe study abroad again, different women's college. I kept asking to go back to Ewha each year for the past 3 years, but they weren't gonna let me back in unless I was enrolled somewhere else, so I'll have to figure something new out.

I am essentially the Asian Van Wilder.

[bouwnt]

.

:mad:

[dismalfuture]

actually, I'm a full-blooded korean..

I'd rather be german or something along those lines

well, I'm not sure you can make it that far, but you can satisfy a long-running Korean tradition and your own desires by changing your English name! How about that? How would 'Chip' do for you? Is that white enough?

[dismalfuture]

I lurned to rite gud in colleges, my bad negro

[DaBestSpoona]

Dismal you are a career student.

[dismalfuture]

I have 12 credits on my transcript of Celadon ceramics, for fucks sake.

BTW I was a business major

[dismalfuture]

I have considered enrolling in Toyo Eiwa's master's program, but I feel it isn't big enough of a school. I wish women's colleges in Japan weren't all student bodies of like 2500 or less.

[salaryman]

Ewha Womans? Not too shabby.

Your next mission is to a hustle a job teaching PE there while you advise international exchange girls from Japan.

[mrchariybrown]

well, I'm not sure you can make it that far, but you can satisfy a long-running Korean tradition and your own desires by changing your English name! How about that? How would 'Chip' do for you? Is that white enough?

I think "charly" will do just fine

[m_2]

i have decided to follow the way of dismal future... i read your life story just now. Whens the book coming out. I will cop.

[dismalfuture]

I've considered that my dude, I could probably hustle an MA in 2 semesters if I applied myself, and land my dream job, swimming instructor at Ferris University in Yokohama or something along those lines.

I've taught some college lectures in Korea in the past and it was kinda fun, but a) i'm a pretty shit teacher at the end of the day, I get carried away with the humor and am not much for creating work for myself and dorky college dudes worship me and always tried to eat lunch with me (you know that scene in Harold and Kumar where Bobby Kim grills Harold? yeah it was like that everyday), the girls weren't coming through the door beggin to get sprayed as I'd imagined previously but still gave me a hard time, and their boyfriends would sit there next to them for the whole hour sneering at me. Plus with that mandatory conscription thing over there, I was about 2 years younger than the guys who were Seniors, sitting in the desks in front of me. That was a tough crowd for the $2500/month it paid, so that lasted the semester.

[dismalfuture]

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my college life story the part where I freaked out during my last semester at Ewha... I'd red the matching Blu/Rosso 冷静と情熱のあいだ set around that time, and I had a cumulative GPA of about 2.45 after 4.5 years because I hadn't received any marks for the last 5 semesters, so you know what I did? I enrolled in Franklin College in Lugano and figured I was gonna gonna be able to transfer and finish in 2 years. I got sick that summer and had to withdraw, so I went back to my old school and got out in a year instead.

[salaryman]

Yeah, guess its easier said than done.

But, if it was at an all girl's school you wouldn't have to worry about lunch buddies or sneering boyfriends. And if you were just the the coach, you wouldn't have to teach in the traditional sense, just blow your whistle a lot and make thick girls run laps.

[dismalfuture]

I think "charly" will do just fine

nah dude, white people would prefer 'Charlie' with the i and e; aberrations of common names is a real colored immigrant status thing to do man.

[dismalfuture]

Yeah, guess its easier said than done.

But, if it was at an all girl's school you wouldn't have to worry about lunch buddies or sneering boyfriends. And if you were just the the coach, you wouldn't have to teach in the traditional sense, just blow your whistle a lot and make thick girls run laps.

indeed, I would be down for staff at Ferris, Toyo Eiwa, Ochanomizu, nihon joshi, etc. Worse comes to worse i might consider the Korean schools, but they crazy man, and frankly, my peen is tired of Korean girls.

S-man do you know anyone who has done the Temple MBA round the world thing? serious talk. It looks fun, but is it just a big $100K cruise?

[mrchariybrown]

nah dude, white people would prefer 'Charlie' with the i and e; aberrations of common names is a real colored immigrant status thing to do man.

how about bradley? white american enough?

on a side note: I'm super jealous of your college experience

[dismalfuture]

i have decided to follow the way of dismal future... i read your life story just now. Whens the book coming out. I will cop.

dude, you must've missed the previous posts where I united with mass and formed the duo of layabouts doing the minimum in life. Don't follow me, it is the wrong path.

I don't know too much about college either, because I wasn't really with it. Though I am quite the expert at making Chosun dynasty-like celadon pottery, sumie ink painting, and some old defunct website design program, dreamweaver? something like that. Thanks college. I had a tuition scholarship the whole time, but still spent something like $150,000 to make it through college. Getting your peen wet and the drank is pricey.

[dismalfuture]

What? I am fucking 26 now, I am jealous of you little niggas. I'd go out tomorrow and be doing all kinds of shit, if I was 18 and in college again.

[salaryman]

S-man do you know anyone who has done the Temple MBA round the world thing? serious talk. It looks fun, but is it just a big $100K cruise?

Nope, don't actually know anyone that's done it. Everyone I know ends up going to the States for MBA, including Japanese people.

I do know a couple of kids who go to Temple for Law School in Tokyo though, one is an asshole that studies too much and never gets laid. The other is an asshole that studies too much and never gets laid.

But, I know a girl who goes there and says she likes it. Gets mixed reviews I guess.

[dismalfuture]

I am drinking Fischer from Alsace straight out of the bottle, and my fuck, it is good.

[dismalfuture]

thanks for blowin the spot frutey. fuck i hate that dude

[dismalfuture]

Temple Tokyo is like exactly 2 buildings in Azabu, so I'm kinda ehhh on it. One of my friends was having girl problems in his senior year, dropped out, and graduated from TT later, so that is my impression of it. That and some girl i got down with was having guy problems and was gonna go back home and do TT, haha.

The Temple MBA is only 2 months at TT, but more time at some of the other campuses, it's London, Paris, Tokyo, India I think? I forgot, but a few. I don't really want to spend any time in Philly and I wish Tokyo was more than just the 2 months, so it's not super desirable, but it might be fun. $100K for a non-serious MBA though, hmmm

[salaryman]

I think it definitely sounds like it'd be fun, but its hard to justify that kind of investment for a non-first tier MBA, especially in today's market when even MBAs from the best schools can't always find good work.

And yeah, the Temple campus is weak, but its really just an excuse to be in Tokyo anyway, no? Still though, just like with the MBA, I would avoid putting all that money in just to graduate from an "ok" school.

[dismalfuture]

I don't really want to go to grad school if I can help it man, I'm just looking for something to explain what I do from year to year, when people will ask me in the future. My GPA and work ethic aren't first tier anyway, I do better jagging stuff off luck. Not too hot about working, ever, so I guess a jackoff MBA might be up my alley. It's like an offshoot of my previous study abroad expertise.

I am still writing my books, planning out a bar I'd like to open, and dabbling in the arts n crafts. Don't really need any more school for that shit, but the fam is wondering wtf I'm doing lately...

[salaryman]

In that case I say do it, its a great excuse to get into all kinds of trouble all around the world. Might be pricey, but at least you get to justify your adventures by telling people its academic, plus you get a nifty certificate at the end.

edit: don't slack on writing, think a book could be hilarious.

[dismalfuture]

yeah, it's been in the back of my mind since I heard about it. The concept is nice, but I figure I'd need the $100K fees plus another hundy liquid to have fun, so I've been thinking about how I'd sort that out. Then the problem arises; I start thinking about all the other stuff I could do if I bothered to do the fundraising...

I forgot to say this when mass was talking about college; my first grade best friend whom I talk with a little here and there, guy was having some troubles so he dropped out of college as well, I think after a few semesters. He moved to London, got a big Ford Transit with his buddies and spray painted it black and wrote 'SWAT' on it in duct tape, and drove it down to Greece and played on the beach for like a summer. Somehow along the way there, he got himself a job at Deutsch Bank off his good looks without a degree, and is happily working now. That is my inspiring 'friend without college degree still finds gainful employment' story BTW.

[dismalfuture]

my book is a semi-autobiographical coming of age story