superconfessional

[kindofyoung]

damn 9 months is a long time, what happened to your jaw?

[whitney]

back left upper side, slight displacement, causing all sorts of problems, 14 & 15 probably due to retainer done bad by an equally horrible dentist who convinced me without parents around, to get my wisdom tooth yanked when it was just nubs (young and dumb)

[gettoasty]

i lock my jaw @ night and grind my teeth, and the last visit to the dentist was told my jaw maybe misaligned. my jaws click, too.

i have to wear a mouth guard 4life unless i learn to calm the fuck down and release some tension/stress. I also noticed recently my jaws kind of clench at the gym (need to learn how to breathe better). i can be thankful my teeth are still straight from the years of braces but your story is giving me bad thoughts later down the road

 

good luck w/ the op. i hope you found a great oral surgeon. the money in the long run will be worth it, teeth/mouth the most important thing especially as you age. 

[BRICK DOM]

gettoasty u so thirsty i love it lol merry christmas 

[AstroWolf]

Whitney: take a page from homer and have a spare rib smoothy! 

 

[Egpt]

I don't want to discourage the confessional nature of this thread but there's so much weird shit just on this post alone.

 

Basically you had extra cash after failing one business venture? You have been cheating continuously on your now wife over the last few years? Coke was good because it usually leads to you getting laid, even though you're in a relationship? Then you say you feel lucky for having that woman?

 

I think drug use is the least of your problems to be honest...

 

I can't say I had a problem, but more of a habit. I started using coke, or seeing it with less destain when I was about 23 and noticed that when you are chilling with a girl and she says: "lets get some blow", you will usually end up getting laid. So to answer your question, thats how coke started to seem like a option to me, and made it's cost a bit more rational or pleasing in the long run of getting to smash. 

 

I have been in a slump these past couple years; since I had to close my shop in 2011. The free time and excess cash, left me a lot of time to booze and sniff and just waste time. 

 

Things in my life have changed for the better since the "slump" started, and have continually gotten better, as I have been working on making it better (as I also happened to keep partying way too much).

 

So recently, I got a new photography job which has made me feel a lot better about the work side of things. Got married about 8 months ago and feel really lucky for my woman. And have just seen more reason to not fuck around so much, as their are other things to put my energy in to than being a animal all the time.

 

For me it was a collision of events which lead to me to want to live sober for a while and see what good can come of it. I do not want to live in Amsterdam for much longer, and need to start making more moves to the future, instead of just living in the now. 

 

Sorry for the novel. 

[denimdestroyedmylife]

it is very difficult for me not to feel bad during christmas

 

this happened so long ago but when i was 21 years old or so my dad got terminal cancer and i was the only one caring for him (besides the thieving home health aid that came twice a week or whatever it was) - obviously lots of gnarly stuff transpired over the three months that my dad had after his diagnosis (he hallucinated about bats flying around his room, hooded figures looming over his bed) - until he was finally transferred to hospice a couple days before christmas.

 

on the morning after he was transferred to hospice care, i went to his apartment to pick up some things to bring him to brighten up his room. i gathered up a small christmas tree, some personal effects, and sat down, put on BET and smoked a bowl. aaliyah's rock the boat came on and it was a transcendent experience - amazing song and video, of course - but you know, it was beyond good at that moment.

 

so i pulled it together and drove to hospice and saw his door was partway open and heard rustling inside so i figured, oh he's awake. i entered the room with this little wire christmas tree and found a nurse arranging the room a bit and my dad was clearly dead, glassy eyes staring past the ceiling. it would be a better story if the tree fell out of my hands but no i took it home and kept it around for a few years before realizing it was a just a reminder of pain and loss. i unceremoniously discarded it (and emptied his ashes in a lake [clumsily] after first crossing the country twice with his cremains in the trunk of a rented car).

 

christmas just feels like death to me. my own kids take the edge off a little, i guess. but it has been more than ten years and i still dread this holiday and can't help feeling morose. 

 

:shrug:

 

 

o

[kindofyoung]

Wat

I'm pretty sure you got the timeline all wrong egpt

He started using coke because he got laid

Then he closed his shop, leaving him with cash and free time and that was probably the bottom of his "slump"

Then things were looking brighter since he got a new job that he liked

And then finally he met a woman he loved and married, and I'm guessing that's what finally made him quit coke, which is a superb reason to feel lucky for her in my opinion

Anyway that's atleast how I understood the post

[Egpt]

He stopped using coke 3 weeks ago. Been married for 8 months and I assume dated her for a while before. Regarding the cash I don't understand how you fail a business venture and end up with extra cash. He says he doesn't want to fuck around that much anymore which makes it clear he does cheat on her regularly.

 

From what he wrote, you're the one getting wrong, dunno how you can interpret it any other way.

Wat

I'm pretty sure you got the timeline all wrong egpt

He started using coke because he got laid
Then he closed his shop, leaving him with cash and free time and that was probably the bottom of his "slump"
Then things were looking brighter since he got a new job that he liked
And then finally he met a woman he loved and married, and I'm guessing that's what finally made him quit coke, which is a superb reason to feel lucky for her in my opinion

Anyway that's atleast how I understood the post

Edited December 26, 2013 by Egpt

[kindofyoung]

Ah interpreted to stop "fucking around" more like in general, to take control of his life, but maybe he meant it like you said.

Regarding the business he doesn't explicitly say it failed, so maybe there was some other reason he had to close it.

Anyway we're both making assumptions to form our viewpoints, so not that much meaning in "debating" over it hah

[AstroWolf]

Egpt, you got it all wrong. Your perception of my timeline is backwards and upside down. I am talking a time frame of over ten years here dude. 

 

I could sit here and try and explain it to ya, but your assumptions as to what you read make me laugh. 

 

Thanks to kindofyoung for seeing what I wrote for what it was and backing me up. 

[CASSAVA PIECE]

what remains when all the layers of an onion are peeled...

[CASSAVA PIECE]

(tears)

i dunno how to use chopsticks proper

[Egpt]

Well, your written english sincerely sucks then.

 

Good that things are not the way you made them look like from your posts then. I'm glad you're a straight up dude at least to that degree.

 

Egpt, you got it all wrong. Your perception of my timeline is backwards and upside down. I am talking a time frame of over ten years here dude. 

 

I could sit here and try and explain it to ya, but your assumptions as to what you read make me laugh. 

 

Thanks to kindofyoung for seeing what I wrote for what it was and backing me up. 

Edited December 26, 2013 by Egpt

[e0d9n0b5]

Well, your written english sincerely sucks then.

i understood what he meant just fine?

[fads]

sorry for the poverty of your english language

[Egpt]

I don't understand how anyone can make any other assumption on the timeline considering his previous post where he says that he stopped using coke 3 weeks ago and is more sober than he has been in the last 5 years.

 

i understood what he meant just fine?

Edited December 26, 2013 by Egpt

[e0d9n0b5]

I don't understand how anyone can make any other assumption on the timeline considering his previous post where he says that he stopped using coke 3 weeks ago and is more sober than he has been in the last 5 years.

okay, but your assumption is that he is fucking around on his wife whenever he does blow, which he said was what got him into it, not something that was asserted to be ongoing.

 

whatever, coke is boring, weed is boring =]

[AstroWolf]

Egpt, you are funny.

What I said was plain and clear. You projected a lot of shit, based on your apparent lack of understanding of common language.

You are unable to say you misunderstood, sticking to a flawed point even when others have shared that you got the skit wrong.

Keep it up buddy.

[D.MAN.P]

im broke and own broke mans shit

Knew I smelled the scrub on ya. But is it legit fessin up if everyone could tell b4 you fessed? 

[StrangeLove]

(tears)i dunno how to use chopsticks proper

Me too I use it crossed way but maybe that's because of the position of my hands ???

Edited December 26, 2013 by StrangeLove

[mr fluffernutter]

okay, but your assumption is that he is fucking around on his wife whenever he does blow, which he said was what got him into it, not something that was asserted to be ongoing.

 

whatever, coke is boring, weed is boring =]

 

what you like then? molly? lsd? ketamine?

[e0d9n0b5]

what you like then? molly? lsd? ketamine?

yes, no, no

 

also mushrooms sometimes, but only like a gram tops

[ShakeEmUp]

depression/anxiety disorder blows 

[Jnutz]

depression/anxiety disorder blows

Things that have helped me

1. Be more social. Try and involve yourself in anything social ( it's easy for me as a college student don't know where you're at )

2. Start a workout program and stick to it

3. Talk to your family ( only applies if u have a good relationship with them)

These three things helped me a lot

[Trouble]

I'm taking a year off and hate my dishwashing job and I'm too scared to apply anywhere better because of social anxiety

I'm supposed to be using this time to better prepare for college but I haven't really done shit in the past 6 months after I graduated highschool

Nothing about my lifestyle is cool I just dress a little nice when I go outside sometimes

I feel really stagnated in my current city and feel like spontaneously packing up and leaving

Edited December 27, 2013 by Trouble

[whitney]

what is pf social anxiety?

are there any nonprofit groups u can work with that has social worker?

volunteering is a good way to feel good, meet new people and not spend $$

[shoestring]

null

Edited January 3, 2014 by shoestring

[ShakeEmUp]

Things have gotten way better since I actually acknowledged it and decided to be proactive.  I went away to school alone last year with no confidence in myself (Used to be very confident and always wanted to go to school far from home) and everything kind of broke down.

 

I transferred this year and I'm a lot happier and I spent a ton of time being more social/joining clubs/trying to find my interests again but it has been hard.  I had a long period last year and this summer where I felt like I wasn't good at anything and basically looked at everyone and what they were doing and said to myself 'I can't do that/don't know how' which led to extreme anxiety.  I worked on that a ton this semester and bettering myself but I just received the worst GPA of my life and I need to get close to a 4 point this semester to stay in my program which is making me more anxious. Going to try my best this semester to balance grades with hobbies and bettering myself.

 

Talking with my family has helped a bunch and I think if you have a close friend you can tell everything it's the best thing there is.  I had a lot of 'toxic relationships' the past couple of years and basically let people take advantage of me, etc, etc.  I've been really trying to teach myself to surround myself with good people and positive people and learning how to judge someones character which has definitely helped.  One of the worst parts with the inferiority/worthlessness is that I've had it directed towards my family too (thoughts of why didn't my dad teach me this and stuff like that--shitty feeling) so that can be a rough part.  I feel worse about it too because I've always had a good relationship with my family and they have been great to me to I feel pretty ungrateful when I have those thoughts.

 

Luckily though I am way better than I was because before I felt like anything I did I was going to mess up and I couldn't remember how to do anything. If you have trouble definitely get a social worker and try to find a good friend to talk to.

 

Sorry for how long/ boring this was but I'm more than willing to try to help anyone who is in similar situations

[dovo]

was having one of the times of my life at my new companies christmas party when i was approached by two girls in the club (CWG/CI(ndian)G and was literally told that instead of fighting over a guy they thought it'd be better if i fucked them both. 

 

 

…………………………………..didn't except. 

 

+ rep me for being a faithful boyfriend 

neg me for being in a relationship