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superconfessional


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I'm really having trouble caring about things that contemporary Americans care about, and I currently feel like it's really influencing my life. My mindset is radically different than corporate culture and where the "real": 'world' is.

what is something that contemporary americans care about?

and imo i dont think you should be concerned that your mindset is radically different than corporate culture, if anything thats a good thing

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Preface: I know karma is a nebulous idea for everyone it can be anything toi anyone blah blah blah. That said.

I don't believe in karma in the slightest but out of curiosity, if you do believe in karma, how is retaliation in no way karmic? Why can't someone be the embodiment of what is said to be a sort inevitable return on your actions, good or bad?

Karma is more an interesting subject of discussion for me rather than something I devoutly believe in, so we're not all that different.

I do agree that syc hitting dude back is karmic in nature, I just question the retributive quality of the act, as based on the principles of karma I've come to understand. There is the illusion that he may have equaled the playing field -- an eye for an eye or whatever -- but not only did he injure the dude worse than he himself was injured, he also by his own volition chose to perpetuate the cycle of violence, thus incurring an even more powerful karmic debt in the end. This doesn't resemble justice in any way, and that's why I said karma is not something you can utilize, either for good or bad, as the outcome and motives of your act are what decide that.

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hmmm, looks like i need to get some of that shit and get back in reason. haven't fucked with that in a minute.

last time i took addy was to play a low level magic tourney (nerd concept), fucked shit up.

what kind of music do you make?

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I find it really hard to neg anyone, even complete idiots or shitty posts. I know it balances the natural order of things, but I feel kinda bad, maybe not for the neg, but for whatever message I was gonna include with it. I just don't have that hate in me anymore. I even +'d Natural with a "don't let the haters keep you down" pep talk.

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I got drunk and saw the Tree of Life on friday night. Put me in quite the emotional state. had me simultaneously mesmerized/relaxed about how pointless everything is in the vast scheme of things and depressed about how futile anything we try to do really is.sort of don't be so tough on yourself but also what the hell is the point. Made me think of my grandmother who I visited a few weeks ago, her new thing is she doesn't want to leave her house. My brother offered to pick her up and drive her to his house for a birthday party for my little niece who is three. She didn't want to go. Just said she would rather stay home. It's made me really try and reevaluate how I look at the world, and what I want to experience in life. and for the first time in my life really, afraid of dying. it seems like every one in my family comes to a kind of sad end. obviously death, but death with negativity and fear and the ruins of their life. sometimes it feels like there is something in our blood (chemical imbalance most likely ha) that has the ability to make everything seem fucked.

I need to find a way to be content in this world.

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Here's my confession!

(summing up long story in under 3 lines)

Bitch got super distant with me. She basically breaks up with me, I'm all like.. Saw that one coming! Still love her tho. Don't know why it happened. Mind fucked. It's most likely not cheating. Still mind fucked since I was the best BF to her. Ugh ugh ugh.

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Been in America a week now, for the first time in 3 years - still trying to make an assessment of it and what I've missed. It's a very odd feeling but I've come to learn that white people are about a one out of ten on the intensity scale that I'm used to. I think I'm ready to go back to Asia because I don't feel like I can squeeze the work out of myself if I stay living an American lifestyle for too long.

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Dude at work thinks I'm going to steal his "office wife".

1. Not interested.

2. Dude needs more confidence. Just cause I said hi to the two of you while passing you guys in the hall doesn't mean you need to aggressively position yourself between me and her and glare at me like some feral animal. (Not the only time this has happened.) Sucks for you that everyone knows your completely in love with her, but you're stuck in the "friendship" zone.

3. Now I kinda wanna kill your friendship with her just to piss you off.

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i just fucked up a phone interview for a new job, picking up the phone when you just woke up concept

but it's fine cause i would have to show up for training the same day i leave for the french riviera

Can't rep, but the first part has happened to me numerous times. But I had a similar stroke of luck about a year ago when this dude whose book I edited said he was cool with my sleeping to 3pm as long as he could call me with ideas at all hours of the night. Easiest 5 grand I've ever made, did most of the work while drunk. Sometimes youthful alcoholism has its perks.

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This is the longest i have been back in the states in 8 years bro... gotta say, i like it a lot. a LOT.

over the EU concept.

I'm just enjoying the cheap calorie hedonism like a fat fucking American and that's about it so far.

Honestly ready to go back to my skinny waisted, big-boobed Japanese girlfriend and eat rice and weeds in bean soup, and play with my cute dog in one of the 4 rooms within the apartment I pay thousands of dollars a month for. Asia is more fun.

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