Superderanged roomates

[lmk1995]

one of my roommates always cooks shit in the oven on pans. he always leaves the nasty, greasy pans on the stove. i've asked him a bunch of times to just put it in the sink if he doesn't have time to wash it right then, but he never does. I came home last night, saw it on the stove and chucked it into the back yard.

maybe i'm the superderanged roommate.

[lorem3k]

maybe i'm the superderanged roommate.

superderangedness is relative. i'm sure almost everyone thinks their roommate is crazy

[Denpatou]

I came home last night, saw it on the stove and chucked it into the back yard.

i can definitely sympathize with yr hate, but that's quite an overreaction. he sounds like pretty much any other person i've met--you're certainly the superderanged roommate in this scenario.

[lmk1995]

yeah, it just got to me because he's done it for like 4 months now and i ask him every time to just put it in the sink. maybe i'm weird but i'm used to like using a dish and putting the dirty pan in the sink/dishwasher. my roommates all leave their dirty pots and shit on the stove, seems gross to me. especially because we have a mice problem.

[dismalfuture]

Since this thread got bumped I guess I'll post some pictures I took of my roommates room. I feel like this is more of a you need to see it kind of thing anyway. You can take a guess what the pills are for.

http://imgur.com/a/oMuat

Also eagerly anticipating Drew's post but I think he forgot about it.

That's pretty damn good. I didn't forget to post, it's just going to take a ton of time to write this epic. It concludes in a pic that is full-frontal nudity and NSFW, yet mysteriously contains no genitals.

[dismalfuture]

This is not the epic story, just a side one I'm remembering right now:

I had a 4BR apt in sophomore year of college with 3 other Asian dudes (it was split into 2BR/1BA per side with a huge living area in between, one of those standard college town crackerboxes) -

opposite side:

-one was a Filipino mama's boy (drove 2.5hrs each way, every weekend, to go home and bring back homecooked food in plastic containers and monopolized the fridge space with this shit) and studied pretty arduously, never saw him really. Running into him on campus was extremely awkward. We lived together yet it was much like dealing with a stranger. All year.

-other guy was a Filipino indie rock nerd, a little short and stout. I think the guy meant ok but he was struggling very severely with self confidence issues, had a cleft palate, I think his mom had died recently and left a big life insurance policy. We socialized more than I did with the aforementioned guy but this indie rock/cleft palate dude was out for the pussy and had a hard time scoring. It was pretty depressing living with him.

My side of the house:

-Me. I was into cars and my clothes (not sufu approved, this was like year 2001) so my room was chockful of rare car parts I was archiving and then I had a fuckton of clothes and shoes neatly arranged in the rather large closet. Sat in my room on the internet most of the time, never studied because of my ADHD and apathy, and there were no girls on my campus I severely wanted to fuck, so it was mostly solo time I spent on researching useless knowledge. I collected records and went on a trip to London that year and was into that kind of shit. I was 19 so I had to buy my house beer from the Asian market, and drank strictly Taiwan Beer or Sapporo because the old Chinese lady never carded me. Drank a lot and just sat around in my room mostly, because my roommates were losers and repelling any girls. I would invite some girls over as friends but the roommates mostly drove them off too.

-Roommate #4 was a Fukienese Chinese American dude. He was, in a word, extremely odd. He wore blue tinted sunglasses, a black wife beater, wine red jeans, and wore his belt buckle to the side. Spiky AzN hair. He sucked 90% of the internet bandwidth torrenting porn and he'd stay up all night singing along to Musiq Soulchild or Michael Jackson. He replaced all the lights in his room with red lights, strung lines across the room and pegged photos to them, and called it a 'darkroom theme'

So, you can see there was a ton of passive aggressive potential there from the start, but it got really bad as time went on. Roommate #4 flunked out second semester, his mom came down and stayed at our apt for some dealings with school. She was a Chinese fob and used our bathroom, would wash her underwear in the bath and then hang them on the doorknob. So, I was greeted by huge stained panties on my bathroom doorknob a couple times. He ate maruchan oriental ramen and I'm pretty sure he was able to make sure to tell me his secret cooking touch was a drop of sesame seed oil at the end, and this delighted him to spread his gospel.

By summer we had all gotten sick of each other, guy #4 couldnt afford to stay, the two Filipino guys were apathetic and they basically just abandoned the ship and made me pay for a 4BR apt on my own for a couple months. I was pissed, but the crowning moment was when I had this female friend over in the summer in this huge empty apartment and I was on top of the fridge looking for something, and there was this plastic produce bag with what I gathered to be a fucking turd. I was livid and knew it was roommate #4 and that he had left a fucking shit on top of the fridge before he left, to piss me off. So I'm standing there with this plastic bag of shit in my hand swearing and screaming, and this girl is just aghast. I don't remember how that ended.

I took me a few years afterwards to realize that it was just a red onion that had been neglected and rotten to the point of looking exactly like a turd. It must've been up there since the beginning of the school year.

[lorem3k]

He wore blue tinted sunglasses, a black wife beater, wine red jeans, and wore his belt buckle to the side. Spiky AzN hair. He replaced all the lights in his room with red lights, strung lines across the room and pegged photos to them, and called it a 'darkroom theme'

next level.

[seanfromiran]

wait anxiety for epic story has been slightly abated, still eager

[Champion champs]

Shit's deep in my apartment. The whole place has gone down crack house way. My room is the final frontier. I recently put a lock on my door, and I keep an ASP under my pillow. I've got another place waiting for me, and want to move, but I'm bound by the lease application (never signed the lease). Two of my replacements have bailed on me. Then I found one, last minute, who wants the place. But my roommate vetoed, which she can because the lease app. requires mutual consent. She's got lawyer parents, so they are always ahead. I need out ASAP. Anyone have any experience with something similar? Is there any way to liberate myself? No barrel rolls, please.

Edited December 12, 2012 by Champion champs

[Appleseed]

^ What are they going to do? Come after you in small claims court? I don't know much about Can. tenant laws, but it sounds like you could easily make a case for unsafe conditions (if you've properly documented, etc.-) and I can't imagine they'll have much recourse other than bitching to the landlord (why is that not a part of the post? Have you not mentioned the situation to them yet?)

-

I feel like I live in an abandoned building these days. Bldg. has gone into receivership due to bankruptcy and most of the tenants have skipped out. Just kind of depressing to walk back 'home' from the office to the Big Empty Quiet.

But I don't have any roommates, so this is probably the wrong thread...

[Spaghettini]

^techninj fantasy. reclusive lair

[dovo]

my ladies roommate has been stealing her leftovers.

last night she made sliders for me and cooked an extra one and threw it in the fridge for me to take home. after she fell asleep i went in the kitchen grabbed the patty and slid it around my sack and threw it back in the fridge.

we woke up this morning to empty tupperware.

[lmk1995]

edit

Edited January 19, 2022 by littlemike

[dovo]

I feel sort of bad now but i hate people who do that shit. bugs the living fuck out of me.

[OkayOkay]

Drew, finish this story. The anticipation is killing me.

[philosophiliac]

@champs ASP as in the handgun or the extending baton? either way, that's fucked up. as appleseed said go to the landlord and if nothing else works then document and just walk out. if it's gotten to the point that you've had to put a lock on your door and keep a weapon under your pillow then the law isn't going to fuck you over. your crackhead ex room-mates, however...?

[Champion champs]

Thank you to the members who gave some advice. There was a miracle. I guess my roommate's parents realized that they had no case for keeping me there. Yes, I had been documenting, and my neighbour was willing to testify in my favour, having already complained about her. So they offered to buy me out of the lease. It would have cost more to take me to court, anyway. They probably also realized that, in its current state, it will be a miracle if anyone is willing to take the place. I went to the lease office and made it paper official. So I just have to move my stuff a couple blocks over, by the 20th, and I am a free man. Oh, and I meant the baton — ghetto wire&electrical tape grip and everything.

[wurm]

as we continue to wait for drew's epic story i thought i'd give an update on my roommate (check last page if you forgot). i said some of this before i think in a different thread but this is more detailed.

shortly after i came back from winter break, he left a note on the kitchen table saying he was a transsexual woman named katie. i was expecting a significant transformation, but when i saw him he still looked/looks the same, which is to say like a guy (he's always had long hair). voice is still the same mostly; it was never particularly masculine, but it's not feminine. the one change is that he's getting pretty fat - probably because of the hormones. this in turn is probably why he's growing noticeable (and gross) boobs.

he's always dressed terribly, even for a guy in texas (which is hard). he hasn't really changed his clothes but he bought a black pair of women's boots that he wears now that make him look like a joke. he tucks his blue jeans (men's i think) into them and often wears a purple hoodie or something equally bad. words can't do it justice.

more recently he started hanging out with this other person who is clearly transexual (male to female) too. said person spent a few nights here in his room. my roommate has only a twin bed to sleep on in his room, but it seemed unlikely he was becoming a woman in order to be a lesbian. i overheard him on the phone this morning talking to one of his parents. he's been trying to convince them to let 2 other people move in after i leave (in may) even though it's a 2 bedroom apartment. he then said to them that this new person he's been seeing was his girlfriend. it's quite disgusting for me to think about too much. that said, he has been gone more often including almost all of today which is pretty nice.

as i said before what he's doing is his choice and i respect that. still, when in a situation like this i don't think you can help but make judgements. i highly doubt he started doing this because he really feels like a woman. i know this is playing significantly off stereotypes but out of all the people i know he's like the least feminine. i think it's possible that since his interests lead him to almost all-male social circles he (subconsciously?) thought it would be a way for him to get attention. perhaps he's just that desperate for a relationship that he would put himself through all of this. i don't think think he's going to be any more satisfied with life once it's all done.

just 10 more weeks and i'm gone. i'm sure the apartment will turn to complete shit once i do. his room already has a really bad odor and i can smell it just walking by even if the door is open only a little bit. if there's anything i've learned it's to at least learn something about potential roommates before moving in. i agreed to move in before i even met him. his parents (the owners) had fixed it up really well (especially for near ut campus) and they seemed nice and friendly - how bad could he be? big fucking mistake