official break up thread

[conqueror]

thank you. basically, yes - she went on an exchange shortly before we started dating as a journalism student to csu in colorado. her uncle is a fairly well-connected guy in colorado and recently mentioned that he could probably get her a job at a local newspaper which she was ecstatic about.

at this stage we are going to live together for another week or two and then i will either move back to my parents house in the middle of nowhere (if they let me) for a short while or stay with a friend until i find my own place. i guess we will just stay in touch occasionally after she has left and see what happens. i don't think i can handle seeing her off at the airport so we will probably say our goodbyes before then.

the US has such strict rules in regards to immigration and visitation since 9/11 that i would only be able to visit her on a tourist visa - not a problem if she is only there for a year, but if she stays indefinitely then it will just make it worse. i am a complete mess and i don't want to say goodbye, but i don't want to get in the way of her aspirations.

Edited September 24, 2013 by conqueror

[BRICK DOM]

Thank the lord this Acronym jawn is Schoeller 3x dry

Cuz my tears be everywhere brus

[Denpatou]

i tried so hard not to end up in here, but shit just cannot be salvaged. why would such an introverted, hypercritical virgo like me choose to date a selfish, extroverted aries like her? she moved on quick, good for her. i'm left here with what's left of her things, her ghost. why am i always moving in with every girl i date? it never ends well

[Fycus]

she broke up with you and moved on quickly because you believe astrology

 

but for real your whole post seems really beta. you can do much better, you didnt need her in your life. there are thousands of other girls out there for you, you just havent found the right one yet. learn from your mistakes and move on, try to not move in with girls unless you are ready to settle down. use this as a learning experience to toughen your shell, i have a strong feeling you let this girl walk all over you.

Edited October 4, 2013 by Fycus

[sawyer]

fycus i thought you were being pretty "real" in that first sentence. belief in astrology was a factor in my own dating choices. my hippie hair doesnt help but a lot of people who approach me are into astrology at that "what time were you born so i can make your chart" level. reading a weekly in the paper is ok by me because i can understand the function of regular and arbitrary self-evaluation/introspection but those charts though

 

im going to lie about my birth date next time i meet someone like this. it is a little shady but it will work better than trying to reason

[Denpatou]

admittedly, i was feeling slightly beta. i'm not that into astrology myself, i just happen to typify the broad description of virgo (analytical, introverted, critical). and to tell the truth, we sort of walked all over each other. i suppose it was to be expected when we decided to start an unhealthy relationship at an unstable time for each of us individually. even though i'm only four years older than her, the experiential gap was huge. i definitely said and did things that i never thought i would or could.

[CSK]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect

 

i thought we were smarter than this

[Dropt]

Jeez, do people still believe this alpha/beta bullshit? 

[Fycus]

I was suggesting that he really took a backseat and let things happen and is moping, when he should be moving on and not whimpering about the loss. There is some tie in to the alpha/beta internet phenomenon, he acted very passively which is associated with beta behavior. Call it what you want if the beta comparison is too much, but in relationships you need to be able to stand with your significant other not have them stand on you. 

[CASSAVA PIECE]

pragmatism is not beta

[Denpatou]

not even two weeks later, but i'm already in a much better place mentally/emotionally. once i was able to sift through all those pleasant memories and realize just how much more time i spent being miserable rather than happy, things just sorta clicked. i love her, but i definitely don't want her back. i just wanna find a girl who isn't jaded and who isn't bothered by a little hikikomori time once in awhile.

[BRICK DOM]

Me too brutha. The ache isn't really there any more and I have far more time to do the things I didn't have time for when I was with her. Have serious plans to try my hand at a marathon soon and am finding time to connect with friends I haven't seen in ages. Life goes on.

[boi]

glad ur ok

[froople]

Broke up with my gf of a few years not so long ago. I cheated on her (I'm weak as fuck and we were long distance) and couldn't handle the guilt I felt. She's also 'cheated' but it was just a kiss and nothing like what I did - I just need the physical validation in a relationship. She was willing to move to my country but I could never let her do that, especially in the middle of her uni studies. 

 

Had a big rebound too, but they recently broke it off with me too. I just didn't give enough of a fuck, still feels kinda bad though. Esp since we live in college together. 

 

I started working out and concentrating on my studies again though, close to getting a cushy job too. It's great to have time to concentrate on myself.

[julianREE]

broke up with my gf in february. i was moving out of the city by the end of summer and we were fighting constantly. we decided to end it on our own terms instead of letting it fester up until when i was going to leave. there wasn't a mourning period for me. i immediately just went all out afterwards to distract myself. going out every night, drinking, partying... started kicking it with this other girl, and several others, as a rebound almost a week or two afterwards, basically keeping myself busy enough to not think about it. 

 

By the beginning of summer, i was drinking heavily everyday and this overwhelming sadness just hit me. by that time i hadn't tried to contact her, but i always had this thought in my head that we could just be "friends". hit her up and we met up, but it just made me even more sad. was in a pretty bad place by the time I actually left the city, plethora of drugs, drinking half a bottle of whiskey by myself every night, and to top it off my apartment got infested with bed bugs. essentially hit rock bottom.

 

i left the city and moved to montreal and i think i've found closure on the whole situation. we still talk, but i don't have this overwhelming sense of sadness whenever we do. i'm able to go out and be social and don't stay in my little bubble of self induced haziness and sadness. met a girl and it doesn't feel like i'm just kicking it with her to have someone to fill that void. don't even want another serious relationship at this moment, i'm just happy on doing me. took some time to feel like myself again, but i'm better. time heals all.

[nah_bruh]

it's gonna be okay guys
 

[siamese]

bf said he's not ready to not see anyone else ever again, this is both of our first serious relationship. we agreed upon an 'open' relationship upon the basis of "dont ask dont tell", because neither of us really want to break up at all, but he's young and whatever and just wants to 'experience things' and fuck other girls i guess. reactivated my okc, but have no heart to even sleep with anyone else. i'm okay with this right now but don't know how i'll feel when he actually sleeps with another girl. feels like i'm just waiting for disaster, living in false peace. fuck this. 

[Miso Moo]

bf said he's not ready to not see anyone else ever again, this is both of our first serious relationship. we agreed upon an 'open' relationship upon the basis of "dont ask dont tell", because neither of us really want to break up at all, but he's young and whatever and just wants to 'experience things' and fuck other girls i guess. reactivated my okc, but have no heart to even sleep with anyone else. i'm okay with this right now but don't know how i'll feel when he actually sleeps with another girl. feels like i'm just waiting for disaster, living in false peace. fuck this. 

Deactivate your okc, pain in the ass having chicks online who aren't ready to bang.

[conqueror]

bf said he's not ready to not see anyone else ever again, this is both of our first serious relationship. we agreed upon an 'open' relationship upon the basis of "dont ask dont tell", because neither of us really want to break up at all, but he's young and whatever and just wants to 'experience things' and fuck other girls i guess. reactivated my okc, but have no heart to even sleep with anyone else. i'm okay with this right now but don't know how i'll feel when he actually sleeps with another girl. feels like i'm just waiting for disaster, living in false peace. fuck this.

this is going to blow up in your face (lol pun) sooner rather than later. get out now.

[akuma no uta]

Well, my fiancé (sister suzie) left me today for my best friend. I came home to a note nd all her stuff gone. Pretty weird feelings going on.

[conqueror]

that sounds awful, but at least her true colours have been shown and it has happened now and not after you were married. i'd also recommend getting a brick and introducing it to your 'best friends' face.

Edited December 6, 2013 by conqueror

[skeetinmynose]

Dude didn't you say you two were going to NYC this weekend? Fuck that. Neg train on sister suzie.

 

Hang in there bru.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

damn

[akuma no uta]

^^ thanks guys.

Weird thing is he was kinda my boss.

And yeah, just came home and it was all gone.

[TruMoo]

^ mind blown. i'm here for ya bud!

[Denpatou]

goddamn dude, that's harsh to say the very least. don't waste any time moping, time don't stop for no one~

[akuma no uta]

Btw he's ruco on here

[xchen]

Thinking about you man, sorry to hear you're going through this... You got some good karma coming around the corner though.

[Denpatou]

if it's any consolation, my previous girl and i were planning to move away together next spring (soulmates lol), then she suddenly leaves to chicago, immediately hooks up w sum dude she met on okc, gets knocked up and moves in with him, then has an abortion. needless to say, i cut her outta my life and i'm all the better for it.

[Fycus]

jesus christ ruco, i cant even hold my feels right now my world is crumbling around me. If you ever need a place to crash in SF or need some time off seriously dont hesitate to reach out to me.