Djrajio Dating Thread/Advice Column

[herpsky]

You sound like the type of guy who wont marry a girl or have a serious relationship with a girl who let u do anal. 12 is nothing. Women have sex, that is natural because its easy for them to get laid. Honestly only 12? She's probably not that attractive then.

Yeah.

10 isn't even all that surprising.

As long as she will be committed and doesn't sleep around, I guess it's perfectly fine.

Those kinds of girls wouldn't like dudes who haven't fucked around anyway

[herpsky]

The girl I'm dating right now is insanely good at giving head but

i never question where / how she learned how to do it so well.

[Scais]

its like a good sex / many guys bad sex/ few guys trade off

id rather have good sex.

[ROYALEFATALE]

time to ignore, i guess.

always the best option.

[jaac]

This girl i've worked with for a while is recently single and has had "get over him" time, were friends and i shelved my feelings for her when she had a bf so i guess im gonna attempt the double no-no and try to turn a friend and a workmate into something more. We've never really hung out apart from work so i guess i'll set up a lunch date or something abit casual and try to convey my intentions. Apart from the obvious "terrible idea" has anyone got any advice/personal experiance?

[conqueror]

i can sympathise with mharcI, honestly - although its totally double standards with most dudes (girl is a 'slut', guy is a hero). these days i just don't want to know, espcially since i live in a small city and will probably know of the person. ignorance is bliss.

[Dachink]

This girl i've worked with for a while is recently single and has had "get over him" time, were friends and i shelved my feelings for her when she had a bf so i guess im gonna attempt the double no-no and try to turn a friend and a workmate into something more. We've never really hung out apart from work so i guess i'll set up a lunch date or something abit casual and try to convey my intentions. Apart from the obvious "terrible idea" has anyone got any advice/personal experiance?

I was in a serious relationship with the assistant manager at a job I had. We kept it a secret for almost a year. Worked out fine.

[jaac]

i can sympathise with mharcI, honestly - although its totally double standards with most dudes (girl is a 'slut', guy is a hero). these days i just don't want to know, espcially since i live in a small city and will probably know of the person. ignorance is bliss.

Yeh, he might be over-reacting abit but it's definately gonna throw you abit. I asked once and i did take me time to come to terms that it didn't matter, i'd rather just not know from now on.

I was in a serious relationship with the assistant manager at a job I had. We kept it a secret for almost a year. Worked out fine.

0 chance of it being a secret haha, she is related to my boss. He'd be cool with it and if shit is awkward i can juggle shifts to not work with her.

[superhero]

Alright so, me and my mates went to this cruise and I started chatting with this girl and getting to know her, intro'd her to all my friends. naturally she happens to be a total babe, and one of my friends the following day confesses that he's absolutely in love with her (in my mind i'm like god, why me?).

he's been trying to pursue, but hasn't been getting strong positive signals:

1) she's mentioned to him she's not looking for a relationship

2) he's asked her out twice and she declined both

3) he added her to MSN and she hardly replies to him (big mistake)

I happen to be out with some friends in the city and bumped into her coincidentally and we had a good time at the club - i was just being chill not coming on hard or anything but just making some jokes here and there - but i did manage to get her number since we go to the same campus and i suggested we should hang out.

lately she's been active on my facebook and we've been just talking a bit but nothing serious - i haven't made any moves but my friend tonight confronted me and said "look this isnt going to turn out good" and basically he started interrogating me about other girls on my radar and what my agenda is regarding the girl at hand. pretty much came at me hard and backed me into saying "look, i won't make a move with her, and you can have your chance without interference for me" he said good, and i asked him to be fair and that if he doesn't manage to get her, then i deserve my shot.

Okay the girl is a babe, but i know the world is wide and there are others - but i can't see my friend in the same way again after the way he treated me - i just feel like he was being a total bitch.... do you think it was my responsibility to back off or was it fair game?

Chances are I probably wont even get a shot if this guy fails because he'll probably takes months to attempt to tune her just to get cock blocked by someone else along the way

[dismalfuture]

Honestly, the idea of fucking your co-workers as taboo is a bit old-fashioned, IMO - that is from times when people were correct in assuming people would show up for a paycheck that they'd actually done work for... and in my 12 or so years of working at all kinds of things, the modern world tells me that this isn't the case, people show up for the paychecks, work is optional to many. I don't really think that two people who fuck each other outside of the workplace really would cause too many problems nowadays, any situation is either an obvious thing or one where other people are probably just too thin skinned. People who can't handle a breakup from a relationship like that - they should be let go, and that is obvious as well.

However, if you've known a girl for some time, and she knows who you are, then you better lay on the charm and sincerity pretty heavy, be smooth with that shit and go for broke and know you won't fail, otherwise it's gonna seem like 1000 balls in her court for her to stomp all over with stilettos, even if she does like you a bit.

[dismalfuture]

Alright so, me and my mates went to this cruise and I started chatting with this girl and getting to know her, intro'd her to all my friends. naturally she happens to be a total babe, and one of my friends the following day confesses that he's absolutely in love with her (in my mind i'm like god, why me?).

he's been trying to pursue, but hasn't been getting strong positive signals:

1) she's mentioned to him she's not looking for a relationship

2) he's asked her out twice and she declined both

3) he added her to MSN and she hardly replies to him (big mistake)

I happen to be out with some friends in the city and bumped into her coincidentally and we had a good time at the club - i was just being chill not coming on hard or anything but just making some jokes here and there - but i did manage to get her number since we go to the same campus and i suggested we should hang out.

lately she's been active on my facebook and we've been just talking a bit but nothing serious - i haven't made any moves but my friend tonight confronted me and said "look this isnt going to turn out good" and basically he started interrogating me about other girls on my radar and what my agenda is regarding the girl at hand. pretty much came at me hard and backed me into saying "look, i won't make a move with her, and you can have your chance without interference for me" he said good, and i asked him to be fair and that if he doesn't manage to get her, then i deserve my shot.

Okay the girl is a babe, but i know the world is wide and there are others - but i can't see my friend in the same way again after the way he treated me - i just feel like he was being a total bitch.... do you think it was my responsibility to back off or was it fair game?

Chances are I probably wont even get a shot if this guy fails because he'll probably takes months to attempt to tune her just to get cock blocked by someone else along the way

Your friend is a bundle of sticks, but you are right in assuming that you aren't gonna get anything out of that girl if you just sit back and let her 'choose' you.

[bryanayrb]

i haven't made any moves but my friend tonight confronted me and said "look this isnt going to turn out good" and basically he started interrogating me about other girls on my radar and what my agenda is regarding the girl at hand. pretty much came at me hard and backed me into saying "look, i won't make a move with her, and you can have your chance without interference for me" he said good, and i asked him to be fair and that if he doesn't manage to get her, then i deserve my shot.

it's fair game now cause you pretty much gave up your rights when you said you won't make a move

he's a douche but you pussied out - even when u had first dibs imo.. if u met her first and ya boy knew her through you then this usually isn't even an argument

[superhero]

yea that's true, but he seriously flipped out and went like all psycho-ex-gf type bitch on me. you know when they start interrogating you about everything?

yea that shit.

[cure]

yeeeah but your friend isn't playing on the right team. he's on that weenie shit, refusing to be a true bro in not being supportive of his buddies getting poon that he obviously can't get.

looks like he's already had his shot and you just needa set him straight. that shit is on some high school level and even at that, there's no need for you to have some regret. at least when/if you eventually are over and done with her, he can try round 2 with a contrast-from-last-guy concept

[lestat]

I posted this in random thoughts, but I guess I could post it here, plus ill add more on to this post

I knew it was a bad idea to ask, though I did anyway.

Dreaded "how many guys before me" question...

I had a feeling she had a bit of history, but what can you do. I don't like the number, especially for her age, 20. She says obviously none of those people matter anymore, and she was a much different person then.

I really do love her a lot, can see us being together for a long, long time, but ever since she told me it's been constantly on my mind.

Have I doomed this relationship by asking? Or am I just overreacting and should move on, everyone does things...

It will only retract from the discussion if I don't say the amount, i'm #12.

I really feel like an idiot for asking, I love this girl so much, and she realy is head over heels in love with me it seems, and she tells me all these wonderful things, like really great things, and she cares about me, she really does.

Basically she is fucking wonderful in every sense, but I think about the fact that shes been with other guys so much now it kills me, it really does I hate it, and I wish it would stop, but I cant stop thinking about it.

It is invading every part of my psyche, I see a guy post on her facebook, oh she fucked him, i'm with her and she runs into someone she knows, she fucked him, it goes on and on and on.

I hardly think she thinks about it, its totally my problem, I never brought it up to her again after I asked her.

Im contemplating talking to her about it, but I dont even know why, and something tells me thats not a good idea. This shit is seriously driving me crazy, fucking poisonous question. I wish id never asked.

I love her a lot, and really want to be with her...but I feel like something changed, and I cant really explain it but it seeps itself into every fucking aspect of the relationship. Like shell say something, and ill take it a certain way because I know shes been with these other guys, versus if I didnt know I would take what she said differently.

Its just like im filled with this weird constant paranoia, don't even know.

http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=195672

MarkI?

[ouss]

always a stalking concept

[jaac]

Drew with the knowledge, owed rep.

[Baeyer-Drewson]

@Superhero: you're friend is a total fucking bitch and you should DKCP that crying little bitch immediately.

@Mharcl: seriously man, humans fuck a lot, it's what we do. is 12 guys a lot? more than 2, less than 100s. big fucking deal. it's all relative. is she fucking any of these guys now? does she look at other people like she wants to fuck them? does she give you any indication that she she doesn't want to fuck you at all? from what you described it sounds like no on all counts. this is 100% your shit to deal with.

alternatively, go hardcore (insert religion here), find a nice virgin, and live with the hypocrisy of your demands.

no hate. just sayin...

edit: Mharcl, i guarantee you most guys have been in this situation to some extent, try not to think/judge too much. also, your bukowski avatar from sf is awesome.

[narwhal]

i saw this on a girl's favorite qotes thing on facebook:

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " - Bob Marley

[superhero]

Thanks for the feedback so far, I've been thinking about it this morning.

He hasn't done anything with this girl, so really what gives him the right to "shotgun" this girl?

She's a smart girl, why not let her make the choice between two different people. There should be no hard feelings really.

If i want to take a DjRajio spin on this by applying some economics theory: me and my friend are differentiated products, and she is the demand, with consumer preferences. We're not even competing.

Plus there are a million other guys who'd want to hit on her anyway, if he fails and some other chump gets her, it's lose lose for both of us. That ain't the bro's code!

what do you guys think?

[Baeyer-Drewson]

DKCP = donkey kong cunt punch?

DKCP = Drop-Knee Cunt Punch

You get the general idea. Max force to vaginal region.

[Guest on-display]

superhero your thinking too much

"just do it" - nike

[Caps Lock]

I asked this cute redhead out last thursday for drinks and dinner for friday night. She agreed and that we would meet at 6pm at this event that was having free dranks. I get there round 6:30 and send a text message saying that I'm there. Waiting and 7:30 passes and I realized that I've been stood up. Tried calling but the phone would ring and go to voicemail but the voicemail box is full. So I sent a text message saying that perhaps we should meet up again sometime soon.

Waited a few days and decided to see if she would call. No call, Nothing. Decided to call and left a voicemail saying what had happened and stuff like that. If I dont hear from her, is it worth even contacting ever again? Its not big deal but at the sametime, quite rude to be stood up. I think I just wanna prove a point.

[munkyballz]

If I dont hear from her, is it worth even contacting ever again? Its not big deal but at the sametime, quite rude to be stood up. I think I just wanna prove a point.

Nah dude. Shit happens, move on. You don't want to pull a Swingers.

[Whodinihimself]

I asked this cute redhead out last thursday for drinks and dinner for friday night. She agreed and that we would meet at 6pm at this event that was having free dranks. I get there round 6:30 and send a text message saying that I'm there. Waiting and 7:30 passes and I realized that I've been stood up. Tried calling but the phone would ring and go to voicemail but the voicemail box is full. So I sent a text message saying that perhaps we should meet up again sometime soon.

Waited a few days and decided to see if she would call. No call, Nothing. Decided to call and left a voicemail saying what had happened and stuff like that. If I dont hear from her, is it worth even contacting ever again? Its not big deal but at the sametime, quite rude to be stood up. I think I just wanna prove a point.

You should know better than to trust a ginger.

[american_hearts]

It was extremely rude, but don't try to prove a point with her. That's the kind of thing that, as a man, you shove down deep inside you to fester until, someday, you take it out violently on someone you love, or snap and have a brain aneurysm.

[gfunkdocta]

I asked this cute redhead out last thursday for drinks and dinner for friday night. She agreed and that we would meet at 6pm at this event that was having free dranks. I get there round 6:30 and send a text message saying that I'm there. Waiting and 7:30 passes and I realized that I've been stood up. Tried calling but the phone would ring and go to voicemail but the voicemail box is full. So I sent a text message saying that perhaps we should meet up again sometime soon.

Waited a few days and decided to see if she would call. No call, Nothing. Decided to call and left a voicemail saying what had happened and stuff like that. If I dont hear from her, is it worth even contacting ever again? Its not big deal but at the sametime, quite rude to be stood up. I think I just wanna prove a point.

just take the L and keep it movin'

[RandR]

I asked this cute redhead out last thursday for drinks and dinner for friday night...

Honestly the fact that this girl did not bother to even text you to cancel should be the only reason you need to not be attracted to her. How hard is it these days to cancel on someone/something with a modicum of effort? I mean, hell, she could just comment on your facebook status or something, you know? There's so little thought or heart required to inform you she isn't coming that it should be a good indicator to you that this girl is fucking terrible anyways.

You don't have to prove a point to anyone, mostly because she won't give a damn. If you contact her again and get angry and try to make her feel bad it won't work. Just move on and be thankful that you dodged a bullet with this particular case. Good luck, and dude an event with free drinks? Just get drunk and hit on other girls while you wait, you know? Efficiency is the name of the game.

[nism]

I asked this cute redhead out last thursday for drinks and dinner for friday night. She agreed and that we would meet at 6pm at this event that was having free dranks. I get there round 6:30 and send a text message saying that I'm there. Waiting and 7:30 passes and I realized that I've been stood up. Tried calling but the phone would ring and go to voicemail but the voicemail box is full. So I sent a text message saying that perhaps we should meet up again sometime soon.

Waited a few days and decided to see if she would call. No call, Nothing. Decided to call and left a voicemail saying what had happened and stuff like that. If I dont hear from her, is it worth even contacting ever again? Its not big deal but at the sametime, quite rude to be stood up. I think I just wanna prove a point.

maybe she waited for a half hour for you and got pissed off and left?

[tyang]

maybe she waited for a half hour for you and got pissed off and left?

i wasn't there but i'm pretty sure this didn't happen