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Why its good to have friends who work for strip clubs


blm14

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An old buddy of mine from high school just reconnected and it turns out that he manages a strip club in boston now. This conversation amused me...

[15:09] [Me]: so tell the truth

[15:10] [Me]: are all strippers emotionally damaged?

[15:10] [Me]: inquiring minds want to know

[15:10] [Him]: not ALL, if they weren't when they came into the business, they usually are within the first 6-8 months of doing it...

[15:11] [Him]: but... for discussion purposes, I would say yes: ranging from lack of daddy love or physicall/emotional abuse from significant others... or they're single moms and all they have to fall back on is their bodies since they're too dumb to do anything else

[15:12] [Him]: however, the younger generation of girls getting into the stripping business are more or less intrigued by the glamour of 'being strippers' and the whole "it's cool to be a stripper" nowadays

[15:12] [Me]: Do you ever get bored of their bullshit, bouncer-blowjob-fringe-benefit aside?

[15:13] [Him]: yeah, i get bored... but, since I get paid ridiculous money, i kinda throw it out the window and work with them if i have to... i'm pretty much a 'house dad' at this point, a lot of girls come to me with their issues

[15:14] [Me]: HAHAHA you're papa bear

[15:14] [Him]: bottom line, no matter what, we need the girls to exist as a club, so we put up with a lot of their shit: main motivation is for them to stay and make money and thusly, make money for me

[15:14] [Me]: so you're basically like a pimp except no sex

[15:14] [Me]: and no beatings

[15:14] [Him]: right... in house pimps :)

[15:15] [Him]: guys come in, i schmooze them, find out what they're willing to spend for the night and find out what kinda girl they want and provide them with the girl of their choice and then it's up to the girl to seal the deal

[15:15] [Him]: 'matchmaking' -- i match the girls up to the right wallets

[15:15] [Him]: :)

[15:16] [Me]: right because that's all every woman really wants - to find the right wallet with which to copulate

[15:16] [Me]: so what's the most bizarre request you've ever gotten from a john?

[15:16] [Him]: john would imply they were prostitutes, we call them guests at our club

[15:16] [Him]: :)

[15:17] [Him]: i get some odd requests, but the best of the weirdest ones was from Jim Norton the comedian

[15:17] [Me]: guests, johns, tomato, tomato

[15:17] [Me]: nomenclature is irrelevant

[15:17] [Me]: do tell

[15:17] [Me]: what did he want

[15:18] [Him]: "I want a girl, doesn't have to be too cute, who's pussy lips are like an old, toothless man's drooling lips... do you have that kinda girl here?"

[15:18] [Me]: whoa

[15:18] [Me]: and did you bust out the pussy mugshot catalog that you keep for your own nefarious purposes?

[15:19] [Him]: didn't need to

[15:19] [Me]: knew by heart, eh?

[15:19] [Him]: we had a fatty that night whose lips fit the profile...

[15:19] [Him]: :)

[15:19] [Him]: yep...

[15:19] [Me]: see that doesn't sound too weird

[15:19] [Me]: asking for pussy with teeth would be weird

[15:19] [Him]: heh

[15:20] [Him]: its gotten to the point where i don't really get weirded out/surprised by the requests

[15:20] [Him]: half the time i'm like "dude, i wish we could do that here... as one guy telling another, that sounds awesome, but... we are in boston, we really can't indulge that...'

[15:20] [Him]: i goto providence for my stripclub needs

[15:21] [Him]: since there I can drop $400 and spend 2-3 hours in the champagne room and get my nuts drained if i wanted to

[15:21] [Me]: fuck that

[15:21] [Me]: montreal

[15:21] [Him]: true, did that there too :)

[15:21] [Me]: $10 supreme-court-mandated full contact lapdances

[15:21] [Me]: with all you can eat lunch buffet

[15:21] [Him]: actually have a couple of montreal strippers that come down to party with my from time to time

[15:22] [Me]: but isn't aren't nut-drainings against house-daddy rules?

[15:22] [Me]: you're ABUSING the trust of STRIPPERS!

[15:22] [Me]: vous monstre!

[15:22] [Him]: ah, but not MY strippers

[15:22] [Him]: :)

[15:22] [Him]: i rarely go to stripjoints anymore really

[15:22] [Me]: hrm

[15:22] [Him]: when i do, rather, when my friends want to go, i take them to providence since they can do more... if a girl wants to go, i take her to my club

[15:23] [Him]: since its classier and less scary for girls

[15:23] [Me]: when you say do more

[15:23] [Me]: what, like insert my beer bottle into her anus?

[15:23] [Him]: exactly that

[15:23] [Me]: I mean, I know providence is a wild town and all

[15:23] [Me]: but come on

[15:23] [Him]: do more as in, i'll have my right fist in once girl's twat, another sucking my balls and the other trying to squirt all over my face

[15:23] [Him]: gotta know where to go

[15:23] [Him]: :)

[15:24] [Me]: you dirty bastard

[15:24] [Him]: there's an afterhours stripjoint that opened up 3 years ago in prov too

[15:24] [Him]: doesn't open til 3am

[15:24] [Him]: brazilians

[15:24] [Him]: for cheap

[15:24] [Me]: but arent all the chicks ex-men or something

[15:25] [Him]: nope

[15:25] [Him]: not these

[15:25] [Him]: these are former dunkn donuts employess

[15:25] [Him]: :)

[15:25] [Me]: says the man, and I quote "I rarely go to stripclubs anymore"

[15:25] [Me]: so they're ugly AND dumb

[15:25] [Me]: ;)

[15:26] [Me]: http://blogs.tampabay.com/juice/images/2007/10/11/tbdrachaelray101207.jpg

[15:26] [Me]: ...

[15:26] [Him]: i'd only do rachel ray if she was dead

[15:27] [Me]: right, because she's be hotter dead

[15:27] [Me]: uhm

[15:27] [Him]: i can't stand her

[15:28] [Me]: me either

[15:28] [Me]: she's more annoying than carrot top

[15:29] [Him]: <nod>

[15:30] [Me]: ok so back to strippers

[15:30] [Me]: those fake titties suck

[15:30] [Me]: cant we genetically engineer all strippers to have huge titties naturally?

[15:31] [Him]: we could, we have a couple of specimen from lithuania that are the tallest, hottest, naturally big breasted girls i've ever seen

[15:31] [Him]: i say we take their genes

[15:31] [Me]: pix or it's all a lie

[15:31] [Him]: they're in the club, i don't have their pix

[15:31] [Me]: YOU LIE LIKE MY LIVING ROOM RUG!

[15:31] [Him]: you've got an oriental rug?

[15:32] [Me]: hah hah

[15:32] [Me]: no, a tall hot lithuanian one

[15:32] [Me]: what are their names/

[15:32] [Me]: ?

[15:32] [Him]: they have stripper names

[15:32] [Him]: what do you expect

[15:32] [Him]: 'skyy and natalia'

[15:33] [Me]: whats the name of your club again?

[15:33] [Him]: (name removed)

[15:33] [Him]: (website removed)

[15:34] [Him]: we have 2 other clubs, one out in (city outside boston) and one in (city outside boston)

[15:34] [Him]: that site is about 6 years old

[15:34] [Me]: I'm sure the (city 1) chicks are the hottest

[15:34] [Me]: heh

[15:34] [Him]: (city 1) and (city 2) are our version of the minor leagues

[15:35] [Me]: hah

[15:35] [Me]: find talent

[15:35] [Me]: but some languish for years

[15:35] [Me]: waiting for a third-string shortstop contract

[15:35] [Him]: yep... but some do make it to the big leagues in boston, but then freak out cuz they can't handle it and return to their grass roots

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Apparently Providence has the shadiest strip clubs anywhere. Someone was talking about how shady they were in a TV show I was watching the other day, and now in this thread. Interesting.

sounds like one could get a v.d. there just from a lapdance.

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Apparently Providence has the shadiest strip clubs anywhere. Someone was talking about how shady they were in a TV show I was watching the other day, and now in this thread. Interesting.

glad to see what a classy place we live in

i bet that place we walked by in the warehouse district was one of said shady places

i know what we're doing this weekend...

going to see Boris

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When bouncers aren't bouncing they're talking about bouncing.

I have experienced this as well. Very boring after the first story or two.

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