The Joke Thread

[braid]

So there's a dirty joke thread, but no thread for general jokes...

Post whatever makes you laugh and help brighten a sufuer's day.

[kunk75]

mr. black postings make me laugh.

[DüM]

I don't...celebrate holidays.

[braid]

^ ha, yes!

So we're all sitting around the room. Epic is playing the guitar while the rest are talking. Girl next to Epic goes on and on about who she's going to be for halloween and how excited she is....turns to Epic, "what are you going to be for halloween?"

Epic stops playing guitar and says, "I don't celebrate holidays."

[braid]

ok, i'll go first.....

what's brown and rhymes with snoop?

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dr dre

[fndmybetterhalf]

AvNudDEQLhc

[dibadiba]

Q: what's the difference between a catfish and a hypebeast?

A: one's a low-life bottom-feeding shit eater, the other's a fish.

[Hella Hyphy]

Q: what's the difference between a catfish and a hypebeast?

A: one's a low-life bottom-feeding shit eater, the other's a fish.

trying too hard

[dibadiba]

trying too hard

What the fuck is your goddamn problem? Have I not warned you before, bro? This is the LAST fucking TIME im going to say this. Come at me with a lack of respect like this again and you will fail to have a working spine the next time I catch you around my neck of the woods, I will turn you into a pretzel end of fucking story bro.

[fndmybetterhalf]

Oh Snapples

[sean_]

What the fuck is your goddamn problem? Have I not warned you before, bro? This is the LAST fucking TIME im going to say this. Come at me with a lack of respect like this again and you will fail to have a working spine the next time I catch you around my neck of the woods, I will turn you into a pretzel end of fucking story bro.

[dibadiba]

What the fuck is your goddamn problem? Have I not warned you before, bro? This is the LAST fucking TIME im going to say this. Come at me with a lack of respect like this again and you will fail to have a working spine the next time I catch you around my neck of the woods, I will turn you into a pretzel end of fucking story bro.

real original, bro. you think this is a joke?

Yea copy/pasting my response is so funny, so funny I forgot to laugh.

If you want to talk like that to me why dont you come here and say it to my face so that I can answer your insults with a swift fist to your nose. Yea you have a lot to say from 432 miles away from me but I bet if my fists were in reach of your face you would be like a tv stuck on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut unless you want to die.

Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing

I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type all of this up. Dont want anymore problems? I didnt think so.....

[fndmybetterhalf]

real original, bro. you think this is a joke brohymn?

Yea copy/pasting my response is so funny, so funny I forgot to cry.

If you want to talk like that to me why dont you come here and say it to my face so that I can suck your cock with my swift lips. Yea you have a lot to say from 432 miles away from me but I bet if my fists were in your anus you would be like a tv stuck on mute with no volume button. So do yourself a favor and keep your pants up unless you want to fuck.

Next time you think about saying something like that to me I want you to remember one thing

I know the guy that created google maps and I can locate you in the time it took me to type all of this up. Dont want anymore problems? I didnt think so.....

[skiniks]

What the fuck is your goddamn problem? Have I not warned you before, ? This is the LAST fucking TIME im going to say this. Come at me with a lack of respect like this again and you will fail to have a working spine the next time I catch you around my neck of the woods, I will turn you into a pretzel end of fucking story .

[dibadiba]

k you got me on that one, old pic

[ChaseDizzy]

k you got me on that one, old pic

[mrkehbyners]

[mrip]

[Gouf]

Hmmm how should i contribute?

[Gouf]

(:

[Gouf]

and heers moar!

[braid]

ok, what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

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a gang bang

[kunk75]

owe you 2 reps for that one. hahahahahahaha

and heers moar!

[braid]

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[kubrick]

to tell while having breakfast

what's the difference between jam and jelly?

you can't jelly your cock down a hooker's throat.

[weidna]

how do you make a tissue dance?

-put a lil' boogie in it.

what's the difference between a dead baby and a chair?

-you can't fuck a chair.

[ChaseDizzy]

what's better than a 18 dead babies in a trashcan?

a dead baby in 18 trashcans

what's the diff. between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a cadillac in my garage

what's the best part about twenty four year olds?

there's twenty of them

[braid]

What crackles, fizzles and bangs on a glass window?.

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baby in a microwave

[laserbeast]

what's similar between a woman and a hurricane?

-when they come it's warm and wet, and when they leave they take your house and car with them

[idrawdinosaurs]

lookout of a ship shouts out "captain, captain 3 pirate ships on the horizon"

captain immediately cries out, "first mate, first mate"

first mate arrives and asks, "captain, captain, what do you need"

captain replies, "first mate, first mate, i want you to go to my captain's quarters and get me my red shirt"

first mate runs and grabs the red shirt. the captain dons on the red shirt and docks the pirate ship. the captain and his crew are victorious.

first mate asks "captain, why did you ask me to get you your red shirt?"

captain replies "simple my first mate. the red shirt would hide my cuts and wounds. no one would see me bleed with a red shirt, and everyone would continue fighting instead of tending to me."

first mate, "captain, you are so smart and so brave"

the next day the lookout shouts out "captain, captain. 20 pirate ships on the horizon"

captain says, "first mate, first mate"

first mate arrives and asks "captain, captain, what can i get for you?"

captain replies, "get me my brown pants"