To anyone that has ever uttered "i just threwup a little in my mouth"

[Guest hossoso]

OneManCult:

I was a teenager and a little caught off guard, you would have been too. The lady just told me that she liked the way my puke tasted after not seeing her for 16 years (and not having any idea who she was initially). That is a long time to wonder if other people enjoy the taste of your vomit, a real long time. Fuck you forever...and that boat you're talking about. Fuck it, too. You should taste my puke before you call me a failure. Apparently.

[onemancult]

ok look

i understand it is disturbing, but, to be honest, i would have wanted to keep in touch with this person simply because of how weird it is.

you dont know me, but i've a penchant for the deranged.

the SS Babyvomit presses onward...

[Guest hossoso]

Fair. I screwed the pooch when I should have been giving her the mamabird/babybird.

edit: only reversed and a better sight gag.

[superock]

some people like to kiss

some people like to hug

some lesbians like eating each others shit out of a cup

some people say I love you

some even shout it out

some people puke semi-digested shit into each others mouth

i just puked a little in my mouth

and to youreit, WHATEVA WHATEVA, I DO WHAT I WANT, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, IM GONNA HAVE MY BABY

[jcotteri]

...cosignx

pics?

[dunkin deeznuts]

someone say rainbow showers!!!!

[GiZMO]

I meant to put this in the allergen thread. I used to work at a clothing store and while working there this group of gay guys (3) came up to the counter to check out. Only one of them bought something and the other two were just standing there waiting for their buddy, I'll call guy A. So the guy A puts his merchandise on the table for me to start scanning them then guy B says "Oh you didn't get the shorts?"

I knew what shorts he was talking about. Not only is it my job to run the register but it is also to go back to the fitting rooms to get items people tried on to put them back. In the pile of items were these neon green shorts, $3 from the girls clearance rack. FYI this guy isn't a fit stylish man but somewhat burly and at the same time flambouyant and I knew he could not fit those shorts onto a single leg.

Guy A replies, "Oh no those were too small for me. Only thing I wear in a size small is a condom." And at that point I had threw up a little in my mouth. I tried to call up my manager but he wasn't of much help, so I swallowed whatever was in my mouth whlie politely covering my mouth with my hand. He stood there and watched me try to handle these customers. Apparently I folded something "wrong" so my manager, seeing I was discomforted with these people, helped me fold it. I know he knew that those guys were gay because he was purposely taunting them, holding the sweater and folding it on his crotch and I could hear guy A talking about how hot it was. I got sweaty and discomforted, and my throat was itchy. It felt like an eternity and finally the customers had their items and left and I was terribly pissed at my manager for doing that to me. I promptly asked if I could go to the breakroom to wash my mouth and I had some sort of rash on my inner arms.

[GiZMO]

About 10 years ago (I was 17 at the time of this interaction) I met a women who babysat me when I was between 6 months and 2 years old. After a few minutes of awkward small talk she suddenly blurted out that on more than one occassion I had thrown up into her mouth and that she hadn't minded the taste. In fact, she divulged, she thought it was delicious. This made me a little uncomfortable and I hoped that it was just a good joke with deadpan delivery but then she went on to tell me that after her initial experience with me and my Zagat's four-star puke she had allowed (?!-circumstances are suspect to say the least) other babies to vomit into her mouth. I was too stunned to think fast enough to turn what was already a memorable conversation into a truly epic one but I was just a dumb teenager. In hindsight, I should have puked in her mouth again or at least given her my phone number.

Isn't this like opposite of what birds do. Now that you regret not giving her your number would you want to do it again, like does it stimulate you in any way.

ADIT:

Fair. I screwed the pooch when I should have been giving her the mamabird/babybird.

edit: only reversed and a better sight gag.

Oooh.. kk

[rome1]

I had a girl throw up in my car after giving me road head.

all i can say is....... at least it wasn't on me.

[powerviolence]

^^Gross

But +rep anyways

did she throw up because of the head?

haha

[rome1]

the overall motion + way too much alcohol = YAK.

[Bona Drag]

I meant to put this in the allergen thread. I used to work at a clothing store and while working there this group of gay guys (3) came up to the counter to check out. Only one of them bought something and the other two were just standing there waiting for their buddy, I'll call guy A. So the guy A puts his merchandise on the table for me to start scanning them then guy B says "Oh you didn't get the shorts?"

I knew what shorts he was talking about. Not only is it my job to run the register but it is also to go back to the fitting rooms to get items people tried on to put them back. In the pile of items were these neon green shorts, $3 from the girls clearance rack. FYI this guy isn't a fit stylish man but somewhat burly and at the same time flambouyant and I knew he could not fit those shorts onto a single leg.

Guy A replies, "Oh no those were too small for me. Only thing I wear in a size small is a condom." And at that point I had threw up a little in my mouth. I tried to call up my manager but he wasn't of much help, so I swallowed whatever was in my mouth whlie politely covering my mouth with my hand. He stood there and watched me try to handle these customers. Apparently I folded something "wrong" so my manager, seeing I was discomforted with these people, helped me fold it. I know he knew that those guys were gay because he was purposely taunting them, holding the sweater and folding it on his crotch and I could hear guy A talking about how hot it was. I got sweaty and discomforted, and my throat was itchy. It felt like an eternity and finally the customers had their items and left and I was terribly pissed at my manager for doing that to me. I promptly asked if I could go to the breakroom to wash my mouth and I had some sort of rash on my inner arms.

dude, you are sooooooooo gay

[sean_]

so hes allergic to queers?

[sean_]

how... very strange

[GiZMO]

the overall motion + way too much alcohol = YAK.

not too much rome1?

[Lexy]

Chop-chop with the hotness scale of the crazy lady.

[gotothebathroom]

When I was camping with my Dad and brother about three years ago we had been hiking all day and about noon came upon a river. There were two bears in the river fishing in a rapids area. We were too scared to get close but we watched them for probably an hour or so. We saw one bear fishing in the river for a while slashing at the water but coming up with nothing and then he finally caught a salmon. He brought it out of the water but he just held it under his paw in a really shallow eddie on the side of the river while the other bear kept trying to catch one for himself. This was strange, the other bear not eating but just holding the fish under his paw in the eddie, but we didn't think much of it and just watched other fishing bear. About five minutes later he did catch a salmon for himself and when the other bear saw this he grabbed his fish and they both walked together over near some bushes where they would be out of sight to anyone nearby except that we were above them on the ridge so we could still see them. It was really strange, the bear that caught the first fish dropped it out of its mouth and it had no bite marks or anything on it, we were looking through binoculars, and it just set the fish down and held it to where it was looking at the other bear and its fish about six or seven feet away. Then the other bear got one claw out and removed most of the guts from its fish, it was still alive and thrashing. When the other fish saw this it started frantically twisting flopping and screaming under the bears paw saying "oh god, oh god, please god, nooooo!", and keep in mind we are almost 100 yards away and its screaming so loud we can clearly make out what its saying. Then the bear grabs the gutless fish still squirming, leans back on his butt and slides the fish over his erection, using the hollowed out salmon body to masturbate. About this time I threw up a tiny bit in my mouth but it got worse, the other fish was hysterical and sobbing and then it loses consciousness. About this time I noticed that there was a tripod with a camera on it filming the entire thing near the bears, i could see the beeping red light. The bear finished masturbating with the hollowed at salmon body its body now destroyed and nasty covered and filled with the bears sperm. Then the other bear grabbed a bag from beneath the tripod and pulled out a latex Mr. Rogers mask but it had zippers for the eyes and mouth and he put it on, undid the zipper for the mouth and then ate the salmon body the other bear had just used to masturbate. It was probably the most unbelievable and most unnatural thing I have ever witnessed in nature besides seeing two boys dog fuck.

[PHAT HEAD CAMEL TOEZ]

the overall motion + way too much alcohol = YAK.

So you don't have a big enough dick to make her gag then?

[denimdestroyedmylife]

[onemancult]

i just jerked off to the bear story.

[Le Buttsecks]

When I was camping with my Dad and brother about three years ago we had been hiking all day and about noon came upon a river. There were two bears in the river fishing in a rapids area. We were too scared to get close but we watched them for probably an hour or so. We saw one bear fishing in the river for a while slashing at the water but coming up with nothing and then he finally caught a salmon. He brought it out of the water but he just held it under his paw in a really shallow eddie on the side of the river while the other bear kept trying to catch one for himself. This was strange, the other bear not eating but just holding the fish under his paw in the eddie, but we didn't think much of it and just watched other fishing bear. About five minutes later he did catch a salmon for himself and when the other bear saw this he grabbed his fish and they both walked together over near some bushes where they would be out of sight to anyone nearby except that we were above them on the ridge so we could still see them. It was really strange, the bear that caught the first fish dropped it out of its mouth and it had no bite marks or anything on it, we were looking through binoculars, and it just set the fish down and held it to where it was looking at the other bear and its fish about six or seven feet away. Then the other bear got one claw out and removed most of the guts from its fish, it was still alive and thrashing. When the other fish saw this it started frantically twisting flopping and screaming under the bears paw saying "oh god, oh god, please god, nooooo!", and keep in mind we are almost 100 yards away and its screaming so loud we can clearly make out what its saying. Then the bear grabs the gutless fish still squirming, leans back on his butt and slides the fish over his erection, using the hollowed out salmon body to masturbate. About this time I threw up a tiny bit in my mouth but it got worse, the other fish was hysterical and sobbing and then it loses consciousness. About this time I noticed that there was a tripod with a camera on it filming the entire thing near the bears, i could see the beeping red light. The bear finished masturbating with the hollowed at salmon body its body now destroyed and nasty covered and filled with the bears sperm. Then the other bear grabbed a bag from beneath the tripod and pulled out a latex Mr. Rogers mask but it had zippers for the eyes and mouth and he put it on, undid the zipper for the mouth and then ate the salmon body the other bear had just used to masturbate. It was probably the most unbelievable and most unnatural thing I have ever witnessed in nature besides seeing two boys dog fuck.

i enjoyed this post

[gotothebathroom]

i just jerked off to the bear story.

I am certain they probably have a website, its not my bag so I enver even ran a search but I would guess "Bear + salmon + BDSM + illegal + gentle cardigan + hollowed out salmon + nature" would return something on google.

[Visage Fou]

POOP! in the FACE! ooooooeeeeeeeee:eek:

[Left_Foot_Forward]

haha, well then you haven't seen enough shit yet. I remember back in the day some guy killed a pug, put it in a trash bag and threw it on this trail my friends and i used to take back from school. It had been there for a few days before we saw it; shit was nasty. Maggots had eatin his face and his skull and eyes were showing same w his ribs filled w rain water, gore, and maggots. One of em poked it w a stick and the nastiest smell surrounded us, almost threw up lol. I think that justifies, the use of that statement heh. That or bing in a pig pen w the doors closed, that right there's some nasty shit. If you read all that.. good for you.

[broneck]

blech .

so i came over the crest of a hill yesterday and fucking nailed a dead skunk, its guts were all over the road and it made a really gross squelch as I ran over it. My car smells fucking horrid. I've taken it through the car wash like 4 times and scrubbed the interior with this industrial grade febreeze and washed my mats and the smell is hanging around like venerial warts. needless to say, I'm not pumped on driving it, and even worse I'm worried that should I happend to have a date coming up soon, the stink will transfer from the car to me and i'll smell like skunk juice.

it's worse than i could have ever imagined.

HOW THE FUCK DO I GET RID OF THIS SHIT

ps. i'm already aware of the similarity to the seinfeld episode

[xcoldricex]

wait, so what happened to the other salmon?

[onemancult]

[gotothebathroom]

wait, so what happened to the other salmon?

That part of the story is not even gross it's just sad. We started heading down off the ridge towards where the bears where and they ran off. They probably thought we were cops or something. Anyway, we get over there and the first thing we see is some bits and peices of the salmons body that was ejaculated in and on then ate mostly, and a few feet away is the other salmon... the look on his face was indescribable. His eyes were wide, his mouth gaping... he had fallen to his knees and was just staring, periodically a shiver would run through him. We approached cautiously and he did not orient towards us or react at all to our presence. As I went to put my hand on him and say "it's ok" he just started screaming and then fell to the ground in the fetal position with his arms wrapped around his knees. For an hour he wept in this fashion, then my dad muttered "where are you god?..." quietly enough that I don't think he even meant me to hear. He then loaded his gun and shot the fish four times in the head, killing it. As this happened I looked up on the ridge and there were a few bears there in masquerade ball type masks over their faces watching with binoculars and they had black cloaks on. They watched us for a few minutes and then left.

[onemancult]

as soon as i hit the parts about salmon with knees and arms i hit the ground laughing.

someone get this guy a trophy.

[DüM]

same person?