worst fight

[totally epic]

@jschenkkan: Was this in Seattle? If so, where at?

[bruised]

walking through the dance floor of the most wanna-be hard ass aZn club in vancouver (atlantis) my friend bumps into some dude. he pushes my friend, right away he decks the dude in the face stone cold. happened so fast. in the same instant, punched-out dude's homie smashes my friend over the head with a beer bottle (it was a heineken) and tries to runaway, luckily i was in his way and proceded to smash his face in a good five times. his girl tries to smash me with a beer bottle but like a beast i chi blasted her with my forearm a good 5 feet away from me, she gets up and runs like a bitch. i turn around and see my bloody headed friend is still pounding away at the first dude (with another one of my friends holding punched dude down at this point), and i look down and there's a dude that looks dead, and my fist is all bloody. we all make eye contact and knew we had to get the fuck out of the club. we gather up and leave and after we find that my buddies head wound is superficial, we continued to get wasted at other parts of vancouver. later that night we discovered that blood was splattered all over my CK white v neck tee and my buddies 5ep raw denim, the tee would have made a good souvenir if i had remembered to pack it home. my fist was sore for 3 weeks after, not to mention the gash on my knuckle from the guys teeth that took even longer to heal.

[artificialsky]

I DID break first dude's arm, bruised 3 of second dude's ribs, and gave fourth dude a hairline crack on his jaw.

[hollywood cole]

fking stole the thought right out my head

anyways that story mos def sounds like some ducktales my nigga..

unless you were some wild brolic kid at 14 years old, I doubt you broke 3 of that man's ribs.

[stuntastic]

Sophmore year of h.s.

P.E. some Mexican dude was talking mad shit for no reason. I approach him. Dude keeps talkin mad shit and wants to fight. I punch him in the stomache once, dude drops cold. I thought he was joking around, cuz I dont think I hit him that hard. So I lightly stomp his chest, to leave a foot print. Everyones standing around laughing like haha. A few seconds later, before class starts the run, dude wakes up like WTF. Starts talkin mad shit AGAIN, while Im jogging... it might be pronounced YOGGING, with a soft J. Anyways.

A couple days later, his older brother who was this Muay Thai banger dude comes up to me in the locker room. I knew the dude, so I told him what happened and he got mad at his younger brother and not me.

Not the worse fight, but it was pretty funny. I dont really understand how you pass out from getting punched in the stomach...

Well, I AM ME AFTERALL LOLERETH!

[Charlie Delta]

Should've just stabbed a kitchenknife through his scrotum, to prevent him from spreading his stupidity in the future...

[ak]

this is back home is australia.

i'm say 19 at the time. me and 2 of my mates are out for a quiet drink at this faily trendy bar. i see this cock i used to hate from high school. i mean we were friends but basically had a falling out after i macked his ex girlfriend. anyways long story short, i see him, pretty much ignore him since i thought our shit was under the bridge. clock hits 12 and the pub closes, i stumble outside drunk as fuck with my mates and out of no where i cop a huge head butt directly in the nose. being that drunk i didn't feel it but i saw all this blood all over my white polo and was wondering what happened. anyways i see him dancing around acting like a tough cunt in front of his 1 mate, so all 3 of us crowd them. i basically tackle him to the floor and only land maybe 3 good punches to his face before getting dragged off by security. my nose was so swallowen the next day and i was in pain for possibly 2 weeks after. turns out one of my mates had seen him the next day at a subway restuarant and he had a black eye and a few stitches in his eyebrow.

been in a few fights but that is the only one where i've recieved some punishment.

[Charlie Delta]

Should've just stabbed a kitchenknife through his scrotum, to prevent him from spreading his stupidity in the future...

[Ahlvahroe]

this probably doesnt belong here but ive always had a soft spot for this clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obAmAp9NE6w

[Guest DUM]

I think the last fight I was in was around 2nd grade. I won..but then I ran...so not a good victory.

Though I remember when I was a sophomore there was a week of school towards the end of the year that had a fight everyday. Like, blockbuster HOLY SHIT fights, every one of them, more because of who they were than the fights themselves. They're probably not interesting to read now but I remember:

1. this kid that fought alot, always kicked kid's asses basically just said he wanted to fight the biggest football player. he got pwned badly.

2. friend of mine caught a cheap shot from a freshman, then three of his friends started kicking him or something. (was later handled, I wasnt there)

3. two girls, best fight I've seen in person. smashing eachother's heads on the ground....gangsta.

4. goofy sidekick-type hugs his friend and he freaks out and pushes him. sidekick kicks his ass.

cant remember last one.

[Handlethevibe]

I myself haven't really been in any serious fights. I remember in elementary school I tried to steal a kid's bike and he caught me, so then I punched him and took it, I was an asshole back then.

I witnessed a lot of fights at my old high school though in Florida...

-Back in 9th grade, I knew this kid named Corey who claimed he banged. He'd come to school some days claiming crip and wearing blue with a blue bandanna out his back pocket, then other days he'd come to school wearing yellow/black and saying he was a Latin king, it was retarded. Anyways, one day, wearing all his crip gang regalia, he walked by this big ass Blood and dude wasn't too happy about the kid's flagrant display of his colors. Now mind you, this big black dude was a real gangbanger. He was like 6'4, 250-300lbs, and he had a scar running down the side of his face, whereas my friend was like 5'6, 130lbs. So the black dude gave the kid a warning basically, don't flag around me. So what happens the next day? Corey walks right into the dude while wearing his colors, then the black guy steps to him, so Corey punches him in the gut, it does NOTHING, then the black guy bodyslams him and starts stomping him out until school security come and Corey slips away into the crowd with his face bleeding.

-Another time two ghetto hispanic/black chicks got into a fight in the cafeteria and tits were hanging out and flopping everywhere. It wasn't much of a turn on though, cause they really were ghetto chicks. Like scars, gold front, tattoos, shit was nasty.

-Also fucking stupid kids always tried to fight back whenever the big ass security guards would come to break up fights, then they'd literally get thrown or body slammed instantly.

[edmond]

worst fight was like 4 years ago beat up a security guard at out university.. only drawback was that they had to inplant a titanium plate on my broken finger with screws....

[yuljo]

Only you, edmond, could find having a titanium plate implanted in your body as a drawback.

[Guest DUM]

Oh, ha handlethevibe that reminds of the last fight. This new kid came, as usual it was a military school so we'd get a new kid every couple weeks atleast. So it's this short mexican kid, he befriends the popular black kids. And after like a month he snitched on them for something, drugs I'd assume. So they tell everyone they're going to jump him.

So one day he comes to school wearing a bulletproof vest. WTF. They stomped his ass that day in front of the school.

[Eason]

Since I have a second degree black belt, the cops were charging my 14 year old ass with assault with a deadly weapon. No joke

shut the hell up, any person with experience with the law can tell you that's bullshit, not just the lawyer sitting next to me. Next time you're making up a story, don't use Con Air as a reference.

[diewhitegirls]

shut the hell up, any person with experience with the law can tell you that's bullshit, not just the lawyer sitting next to me.

That is completely incorrect. You are required to inform the person that you are fighting with, regardless of whether or not you attacked them or they attacked you. If you tell them and they continue fighting, you are not going to be held liable. If you do not tell them, or you tell them and they back away and then you continue fighting, you will be charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

[Eason]

What district? I will look that up. That sounds absolutely ridiculous and makes as much sense as the one about having to register your hands as deadly weapons when you get a black belt.

[diewhitegirls]

I was in 101st precinct in New York. I just looked something up and this was what I came up with. Perhaps I was mistaken with the deadly weapon issue, but I was in a shitload of trouble due to my training. Incidentally, I did not have to register when I received my black belt, but we were told that when we acheived a brown belt, not even a black belt, that we would be charged differently.

"According to popular belief, holding a black belt (or comparable rank) in a martial art requires one to register parts of one's body as deadly or dangerous weapons. While some dojos require black belts to buy regristration cards, the government itself does not register black belts as deadly or dangerous weapons. However, holding a black belt will influence court decisions concerning self defense."

[jimmyc]

Since I have a second degree black belt, the cops were charging my 14 year old ass with assault with a deadly weapon. No joke.

I find that hard to believe. Did your instructors really tell you to register yourself as a deadly weapon? and what martial art were you studying that would give a ni-dan rank to a 14 year old?

I've studied martial arts (aikido, jujitsu, shotokan, SMR jodo & iaido) for the last 20 years and have never heard anything like that. I have never been involved in any kind of fight since I began MA's but I know that if someone initiated a confrontation with me the last thing I'm going to do is start breaking down my experience in self defense.

[diewhitegirls]

I find that hard to believe. Did your instructors really tell you to register yourself as a deadly weapon? and what martial art were you studying that would give a ni-dan rank to a 14 year old?

I've studied martial arts (aikido, jujitsu, shotokan, SMR jodo & iaido) for the last 20 years and have never heard anything like that. I have never been involved in any kind of fight since I began MA's but I know that if someone initiated a confrontation with me the last thing I'm going to do is start breaking down my experience in self defense.

As was stated in the first post, it's tae kwon do, hapkido, thai boxing, and kickboxing. Again, as I stated before, we were told when we received our brown belts that we would be in over our heads if we did not state our training while in the fight. That certainly sounded like scare tactics to me, until I was sitting in front of two detectives who were telling me that I was fucked because of my training.

For the record, our master's children received their black belts at 10 and 12, boy/girl respectively. Tae kwon do is a sport and not set to the rigors of "real" martial arts. I've taken brazilian ju jitsu and had my ass handed to me by beginners, so I recognize the flaws with my training.

Regardless, everything that I stated in that story is 100% factual, sans hyperbole.

[jschenkkan]

As was stated in the first post, it's tae kwon do, hapkido, thai boxing, and kickboxing. Again, as I stated before, we were told when we received our brown belts that we would be in over our heads if we did not state our training while in the fight. That certainly sounded like scare tactics to me, until I was sitting in front of two detectives who were telling me that I was fucked because of my training.

For the record, our master's children received their black belts at 10 and 12, boy/girl respectively. Tae kwon do is a sport and not set to the rigors of "real" martial arts. I've taken brazilian ju jitsu and had my ass handed to me by beginners, so I recognize the flaws with my training.

Regardless, everything that I stated in that story is 100% factual, sans hyperbole.

Sounds like something they'd have in a shitty movie like Rush Hour, with jackie jan having to inform every dude that he fucks up that his hands are deadly weapons, they laugh, and then he pulls some tai kwan do shit on them.

[Oscur]

This one takes the cake (How do you post direct from youtube?)

[GiZMO]

It's a Jackie Chan move, son.