Ultimate Significant Other: Mad Hectic

[Guest jmatsu]

great cook.

anal-okay.

good head.

rich family.

super slender.

one who comprehends and adheres to old school asian hierarchical values

walks in front of the man, not a couple steps behind him (ask me why!).

[Guest jmatsu]

^

why??

to check for landmines, beartraps, doggy poo, sidewalk potholes, etc.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

i want a girl who is just like me, but even prettier

you are so ugly when you talk about how pretty you are. "coyly bemused" is a better look for you.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

to check for landmines, beartraps, doggy poo, sidewalk potholes, etc.

+REPPPPPPPPPPP(if i could)

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

but anyways...

Well endowed player, 29, seeks dirty ho to sip Cristal and have her ass tore up. This is straight hip-hop. Baby’s gotta keep it realer than a mofo as I roll up deep into her steez, or crevice. Serious inquiries only. Only hotties need apply. Must like long walks on the beach, nights in front of the fireplace, and sushi. Shouldn’t steal my stuff. I like my women hairy. Must have titties and a budonkadonk butt. I don’t like dirty ass, gotta have a clean ass. This is what I want. Gotta have strong legs, especially at the knees. Gonna spend a lotta time on the knees. Must have back. Don’t steal my stuff. I like ‘em hairy as hell. Oh one more thing: I like stretch marks. Must have a C-section scar. Gotta love to hump. Gotta love to bone. Must buy me a cock ring.

[insomaniac]

to check for landmines, beartraps, doggy poo, sidewalk potholes, etc.

is this why i was walking in front of you at velour?

[Guest jmatsu]

is this why i was walking in front of you at velour?

you're my homie, not my significant other.

[insomaniac]

you're my homie, not my significant other.

haha. i forgot what this thread was all about.

[doczein]

in the middle of the spectrum, between "down to earth" and "ridiculously judgemental". that's all i want.

[almondcrush]

likes murakami (haruki)

cute smile

good brain like she graduated from a good school

open to new things

compatible sense of humor

knows what she wants (that being: my dick)

ability to dress / cook also very nice

[onemancult]

Must hate dogs and cats, love puppies and kittens, and think that cryptozoology is endlessly interesting. Must listen to me talk about mythical creatures for hours. Must sort of believe in conspiracy theories, enough so that when I talk about them (when not talking about Mongolian Death Worms), she will start to believe them. Must love Barack Obama, and must be black on the inside, no matter what color she is on the outside. Must have been born and raised at least until the age of 15 in New York City, preferably in one of the outer boroughs. Must know how to ride the subway, must never need directions or get lost.

Must be able to dance for hours, and not look fucking stupid. Must not want to leave the party 'til security says to, must not want to fuck security guy. Must be able to hold liquor well, or must know her limits. Must not become annoying when drunk, must invite me to girl's bathroom to fuck. Must be able to orgasm.

Must let me snort coke out of her bellybutton, must have nice vagina. Must be anal-curious, must not be lesbian or have any interest in sleeping with women without my express written permission. Must have had sexual relations with no more than five men before me, and must have had oral sex with no more than seven. Must have never had anal, not even by mistake.

Must let me pee on her, at least in the shower, at least once before we die. Just once, and it doesn't even have to be in her mouth. Maybe.

Must have a nice family that I get along with, must eat. No skinny bitches. Must have supple, soft, fresh-smelling flesh, but not too much of it. Mami tiene que entender espanol, pero no lo tienes que hablar.

High-self esteem, high sense of self-worth.

Must be able and willing to apologize.

Must believe in the Onemancult.

[sybaritical]

Amen and +rep if I could.

[Tiranis]

Amen and +rep if I could.

same here... i'm all out of rep, as usual.

[zelah]

hey perfect girl

-dress like you listen to only indie made in, or inspired by indie made in the mid 90s

-listen to only indie made in, or inspired by indie made in the mid 90s

-don't drink, don't smoke, don't drive

-be intelligent and well spoken

-call me out constantly

-ride bikes, color coordination matters

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

Must hate dogs and cats, love puppies and kittens, and think that cryptozoology is endlessly interesting. Must listen to me talk about mythical creatures for hours. Must sort of believe in conspiracy theories, enough so that when I talk about them (when not talking about Mongolian Death Worms), she will start to believe them. Must love Barack Obama, and must be black on the inside, no matter what color she is on the outside. Must have been born and raised at least until the age of 15 in New York City, preferably in one of the outer boroughs. Must know how to ride the subway, must never need directions or get lost.

Must be able to dance for hours, and not look fucking stupid. Must not want to leave the party 'til security says to, must not want to fuck security guy. Must be able to hold liquor well, or must know her limits. Must not become annoying when drunk, must invite me to girl's bathroom to fuck. Must be able to orgasm.

Must let me snort coke out of her bellybutton, must have nice vagina. Must be anal-curious, must not be lesbian or have any interest in sleeping with women without my express written permission. Must have had sexual relations with no more than five men before me, and must have had oral sex with no more than seven. Must have never had anal, not even by mistake.

Must let me pee on her, at least in the shower, at least once before we die. Just once, and it doesn't even have to be in her mouth. Maybe.

Must have a nice family that I get along with, must eat. No skinny bitches. Must have supple, soft, fresh-smelling flesh, but not too much of it. Mami tiene que entender espanol, pero no lo tienes que hablar.

High-self esteem, high sense of self-worth.

Must be able and willing to apologize.

Must believe in the Onemancult.

okay okay okay check it okay yo okay check it yo....what if, you met her, she was all that and then some, im talkin like....all of the above AND she was a 9.5(cause who the fuck wants a dime REALLY? douchebags, that's who) AND she has a 31st floor penthouse overlooking central park west AND she comes from money but is really whatever about it cause her bank account just stays magically filled forever like prison commisarry AND she fucking LOVES cooking chicken and rice in the n00dz...so yeah, shes all of that BUT...one of her foibles is a weekend-long freebase sports weekend, thrice-anually? still a go?

[wEstSidE]

okay okay okay check it okay yo okay check it yo....what if, you met her, she was all that and then some, im talkin like....all of the above AND she was a 9.5(cause who the fuck wants a dime REALLY? douchebags, that's who) AND she has a 31st floor penthouse overlooking central park west AND she comes from money but is really whatever about it cause her bank account just stays magically filled forever like prison commisarry AND she fucking LOVES cooking chicken and rice in the n00dz...so yeah, shes all of that BUT...one of her foibles is a weekend-long freebase sports weekend, thrice-anually? still a go?

that sounds just about perfect...

[Vitamian]

Being spanked.

[sybaritical]

OKOKOK westside.

Amen to that.

+ rep when I can AND I forgive you for the tights.

[keagan]

I WANT A FUCKING ASIAN THAT WILL FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME.

+rep If she can barely speak english.

[Guest jmatsu]

I WANT A FUCKING ASIAN THAT WILL FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME.

+rep If she can barely speak english.

uhhh... how about a vacation to tokyo?

[soraanaam]

I WANT A FUCKING ASIAN THAT WILL FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE ME.

+rep If she can barely speak english.

dude asians will act like that, like you gotta pin them down and rape them before they take notice of you

[wEstSidE]

I thought that once you save them from the volcano and godzilla that they just let you do whatever to them.

[onemancult]

that sounds just about perfect...

my bredren right here is correct.

as long as she replaces any teeth she might lose, and as long as i can go

do whatever and whomever the fuck i want when she's gone if i promise to pick

her up from the airport after she's done, then you just basically dapped me off with the most perfect woman alive.

hold on, i got a phone call from a number i don't recognize...

...

...

word, i gotta go meet some chick who said she needs a ride from the airport

and wants to suck my dick while playing a keyboard with her labia. peace.

[keagan]

oh wow? Her labia?!

[Vitamian]

YSL sexy secretary look

Thinks George Bataille is more important than Sartre

Just kidding, you never know what you'll get but you know when what you see is what you want.

What about Octave Mirbeau?

[naffbdp]

Waist-hip ratio.

[perledeculture]

I realised I wanted to marry my bf on our first date when he parked the car with extreme skill and precision, ate large amounts of food and dived into a freezing surf beach and swam out despite large waves...something about the whole sequence of events spelled out a man..plus we spoke for twelve hours straight and didn't want to leave each other..

when you know, you know..

if I was seeing a guy who did not have manners (ie. if they were rude to a waitress or something at a restaurant) I would be instantly put off. If a guy was just as scared as I was in some sort of risky/frightening situation that would also disgust me. I like my men to be men.

[insidertrading]

- chinese and/or japanese

- 5' 6 @ 100 - 110 lbs

wearing:

- chanel boucle tweed jacket (white)

- diane von furstenberg echo tube top (black)

- apc new cures

- sonia rykiel flats

- balenciaga 'the box' handbag (black)

listens to:

- nas

- little brother

- david bowie

watches:

- david lynch

- wong kar-wai

additions:

- can (female) ejaculate

- enjoys being finger fucked to tears

- enjoys conversations about zombies

- shaves

[TopVillain]

this thread is so Disney

but the people that peak my interest are

funny

smarter than me

good smile

good hygiene

charming

family values

goal orientated

Wow I fit that description perfectly!!!

[mkei]

necessary:

• cute smile
  
• nice figure
  
• intelligent
  
• likes to laugh
  
• has cute laugh
  
• open-minded (espesh to do with music)
  
• respectable
  
• petite (not taller than me)
  
• great ass
  
• DSL (no, not the internet)

preferable but not essential:

• wears cute clothes
  
• more outgoing than me
  
• bit of a rebel
  
• unconventional fashion sense