superconfessional

[dismalfuture]

i have been reading the archives of this dude's blog for hours because he has a raging crush on me (he wrote it in his own words!) and i'm curious about his life. i have zero attraction to him, but he's a nice guy. is it possible to be flattered into liking somebody back?

I think it is possible to be flattered into liking somebody, especially for girls, more than guys, though I've had it happen to me a few times where I'll end up staying with a girl longer than I had planned or imagined because they do genuinely like me and I feel trapped by guilt.. I dunno, that might not be the same exact thing as here..

But in the end, when the glue of all the flattery doesn't stick to you anymore, things will just fall apart. My opinion, though, and from the men's side.

[canice]

i don't mean compliments, but like dismalfuture said, maybe being flattered into progressing a relationship when it shouldn't. i have real issues with finding approval from others (but that is for another superconfession - though isn't that why we're all on this board in the first place?)

pretty cool dude (rides fixed gear, ex-bike mechanic, cooks, etc) but again, zero attraction.

[showbiz00ditc]

i say yes... i do think you could be flattered or persuaded even...into a relationship...

[Guest Fade to Black]

Give me a dick. I'll grab a fork.

Just kidding, I often do the same thing, but for me it's not really dumbing down, I've never put my intelligence out there front and center. It's not very important to who I am. so what if I'm smarter than the more than average bear? That doesn't change how I interact with people.

Or maybe I'm just naieve and lying to myself. Either way, I'm happy, I finished my homework

well, when i said dumb myself down i didn't mean so much in terms of intelligence...more like personality. There's a lot of things I can get away with saying and expressing here that wouldn't fly in real life...i mean a lot of stuff i DO say here is what i really think about sometimes. And I don't mean just the crazy porn stories or whatever...but certain things I think about, let's say even just talking about emotions or discussing something as superficial as a fashion collection, when it comes down to my real essence I can come across as very raw and uncompromising.

[poly800rock]

i don't mean compliments, but like dismalfuture said, maybe being flattered into progressing a relationship when it shouldn't. i have real issues with finding approval from others (but that is for another superconfession - though isn't that why we're all on this board in the first place?)

pretty cool dude (rides fixed gear, ex-bike mechanic, cooks, etc) but again, zero attraction.

you sure do have a lot of crushes huh?

[dismalfuture]

DJ Flame's post reminded me that there should be some superconfessions going on here...

I lost my virginity to my friend's mom... early in high school....

[masuerte]

superconfession: I find I dumb myself down when I talk to most people...i realize that if I give 'em myself in the most pure, uncut and raw form they ain't gonna be able to handle it. But it's gotten to the point where I'm leavin this joint in 8 months anyway, so I might as well give 'em the truth now...fuck it.

I would say that the image of myself i project on superfuture, and the internet in general is perhaps a slightly more accurate, maybe even exaggerated version of who I really am...and apparently it doesn't go down well with a lot of people here either. But at the end of the day, I'm true to myself and if people still don't like it then they can eat a dick. That's real.

You should seriously punch someone (or maybe even get into a rumble against a whole group of peeps) on your way outta the "joint". It seriously feels great.

[Guest Fade to Black]

You should seriously punch someone (or maybe even get into a rumble against a whole group of peeps) on your way outta the "joint". It seriously feels great.

I'm too tired to tell if this was sarcastic or not (it probably is), but I wouldn't mind doin that...but damn i'll probably be so mellowed and exhausted by the time i graduate that i'll just catch the next flight out.

[masuerte]

Guys that butter up to a woman never gets the girl in my experience. Maybe it's because it's the least manly thing you could do. Besides, what's fun is there in a relationship if my partner constantly agreed with me?

This is true, seriously. The only girls that have liked me, I've treated pretty badly. And due to Karma, the only girls I do like ... I think... are powerfully disgusted with even the idea of being with me.

[canice]

you sure do have a lot of crushes huh?

har har.

i think it's the other way around these days.

[poly800rock]

har har.

i think it's the other way around these days.

thats what i meant...

[red]

DJ Flame's post reminded me that there should be some superconfessions going on here...

I lost my virginity to my friend's mom... early in high school....

are you serious?

thats. fucking. awesome.

even if she wasnt hot.

[almondcrush]

^ co-sign

hunting cougars is even better than hunting dunks

[damnIam]

i have been reading the archives of this dude's blog for hours because he has a raging crush on me (he wrote it in his own words!) and i'm curious about his life. i have zero attraction to him, but he's a nice guy. is it possible to be flattered into liking somebody back?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yup, it is... . Praise that is honest and sincere and NOT crude can go along way but you have to believe it for it to be effective. I think something this person has written about his feelings for you must go past actually impressing you and it must actually feel like it is sincere. Who can resist sincere praise if it comming from and honest and sincere place? It would seem, Canice, that you are not just reacting to the praise alone as I would guess that you are self confident enough that you don't require that alone to be attracted to someone. Clearly you seem to be interested in the sincerity of his praise and that is where the magic begins. Good Luck.

[almondcrush]

theyre not really actors. theyre more like good looking people who rule the philipines.

think of how awesome the philippines would be now if fernando poe jr. took the election over gloria

people would settle all their dispute via super macho fistfights with incredible sound effects

i think i'm too dark to be an actor back home

unless i'm content to put on thirty pounds and play the dumb friend whose job it is to dye my hair an unflattering color and make goofy faces the entire movie

[dismalfuture]

are you serious?

thats. fucking. awesome.

even if she wasnt hot.

I might retell this story when sober tomorrow or the next day, I feel it's worth the effort. Fond memories of summer 1999/How Summer 1999 crashed and burned....

[cheapmuthafukr]

confession... i have a supercrush

im not gonna start a thread tho

[dismalfuture]

^Italy isn't that far off mate, you could do far worse, like living in Korea...

[cheapmuthafukr]

^^ehh... she could be on the fucking moon for all i care....

its just fun for the impossability of it all... if she were in fla it wouldnt be a crush, ya know....

second confession of the day... im a cocky motherfucker to compensate for my many insecurities.

[Salad]

When I'm on an escalator (downward) and someone is standing on the left side I want to shove them. I don't want to say, "excuse me" or explain that the left side is for walking. I want to shove them and watch them fall, grasping for the rubber rail, the jagged edge of each step stabbing their ribs, then face, then ribs again.

[Guest Fade to Black]

I see what you mean there, FTB, it is tiring always watching your p's and q's, sometimes you just wanna yell it out, but you gotta shut up because your damn in-laws are down the hall, and then when you go to wash up after, it'll be just your luck to catch them in the hall on your way there.

okay projecting again....

I do get your point, and it sucks. It sounds like the people you are around just dont know the real you, and you've had this screen up for so long that it's irritating, but it also is a little painful, because you dont know whether they appreciate you or the screen. Which of course is damaging to confidence if the doubt sets in over time. The way I see it, either come out now, and start being yourself, and whoever doesn't like it can fuck themselves, or you can stay with this image for a little while longer just to make the people around you more comfortable. It all comes down to if your need for individuality and honesty outweighs your concern for their feeling and how they might accept you if you started being the real you.

Please tell me if I'm way off base, I may be able to do weird ass calculus in my head, but I am not good with words.

yeah, i think you pretty much got it.

the thing is, even this watered down version of myself isn't really winning me too many friends or anything, it's just to retain a facade of normalcy because in the end, how exactly does one connect with people on a deeper level if all that's being talked about is the weather? I mean i have many acquaintances i'm friendly with on the most superficial level possible but it becomes quite empty when I realize that I don't think I could relate to them beyond what I have with them now.

It's a hard position to be in..

[denimdestroyedmylife]

wine, fade. shit gets deep quick.

[onemancult]

yeah, i think you pretty much got it.

the thing is, even this watered down version of myself isn't really winning me too many friends or anything, it's just to retain a facade of normalcy because in the end, how exactly does one connect with people on a deeper level if all that's being talked about is the weather? I mean i have many acquaintances i'm friendly with on the most superficial level possible but it becomes quite empty when I realize that I don't think I could relate to them beyond what I have with them now.

It's a hard position to be in..

i know exactly where you're coming from, but not for the exact same reasons.

my experience is that i don't find too many genuinely open people out there who wouldn't fault me for a certain aspect of my personality, typically because of my interests or my ideals. the hip hop kids can't understand why i love early post-punk and goth music, the punks think i dress like a materialistic idiot, and so on. i don't fit in properly anywhere, so i find myself watering down certain aspects of my personality in order to fit in with whichever person i'm around at the moment- i don't want to have to defend why i'm passionate about the things i'm passionate about to people who are only passionate about one thing. i have a really fragmented circle of friends, where most of them don't even know the others exist, because i know for a fact that they'd automatically hate each other.

and i mean, fuck. i live in nyc, you'd think i'd be able to find like-minded misfits that could get on the same page as me, but everyone's so hyper-focused on their little scene or subculture.

but fuck it. that's why i'm the onemancult.

[keri]

I hear ya, I'm lucky enough to have my mom and Erik in my life, I can really be myself with them and talk about anyting. They are all I really need, everyone else is just pals

[onemancult]

I hear ya, I'm lucky enough to have my mom and Erik in my life, I can really be myself with them and talk about anyting. They are all I really need, everyone else is just pals

this brings up another interesting thing for me-

how many people out there have a best friend who isn't someone they have sex with regularly or they aren't related to?

i haven't had a good friend i could count on no matter what for a few years now, and that bothers me.

[denimdestroyedmylife]

i only cultivate deep friendships with a couple people, instead of having many weaker ties. i've only so much to spread around, you see.

[showbiz00ditc]

.................................

[rnrswitch]

First confessional.

1) I don't identify with other white people... I just can't handle the fakeness.

2) Kinda tied to number one..... I love Laguna Beach. I just want to rip their f____ing heads off.

3) Love to watch fox news... similar to number 2.

[showbiz00ditc]

fuck man i love the news... i'm more down with CityTV news though.

[poly800rock]

i think south park is the best show on TV