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ego took quite a hit last night.

so i was working a seasonal job with a girl this summer and last summer, and despite us being good friends it was clear that there was the potential for something more. however, last summer she had a boyfriend. and towards the end of last summer she got her younger sister a job at the same place, and right off the bat her sister and i had a physical connection. within a few days her and i had had sex, and continued doing it for a couple months. this girl let me know that she wasn't thrilled that i was in a fuckbuddy relationship with her sister, but she could see that i wasn't using her or anything and i treated her with respect, so she sort of gave it her blessing.

fast forward to this summer, she's split up with her boyfriend, her sister has been out of the picture for several months, and her and i develop a closer relationship. all summer there's mutual flirting, a couple casual dates, but it didn't look like things would progress any further. i made a couple moves but each time she said she was still getting over her ex, was still thrown off by the fact i had been with her younger sister, and she didn't all of our coworkers in her business. i was ok with this, it was clear she was feeling me but i wasn't gonna push the issue too hard as i was pursuing another girl at the time. and i was really enjoying her friendship.

towards the end of the summer she's gearing up for school in a city about 3 hours away, and i could tell she was really second guessing herself. we're talking more and more frequently, she's telling me how much she's gonna miss me and it was pretty clear that she was regretting turning down my advances.

she leaves, and things change completely. now she wants to give things a shot between us. she's planning on coming back this weekend and wants to spend time together and talk about where we can take this. she and i both speak with her sister who is totally fine with us pursuing something, she said i was a great guy and was much better suited for her.

this is getting long so i'll cut to the chase. picked her up for dinner, couple drinks (should note her i only put back 2), and took her back to my place. had a great talk, took her to my bed and things are getting heated. after an hour or so of foreplay, i put the dome on and as i'm about to put it in i lose my boner... and it's not coming back. i'm absolutely mortified, nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and despite trying to get back in the mood my anxiety is totally killing any chance of redemption. she seems fully understanding (but visibly disappointed), and we go to sleep. i drive her home this morning with promises to see her tonight, but i'm rattled.

so yeah, i've been moping around all day, smacking myself in the head and muttering insults to myself

i remembered that i posted this here and just felt like i should update. but i don't feel like posting the whole story but suffice to say i never recovered.

we hung out the next day and things were great, she was super reassuring. took her home, made her dinner, and i actually did get a second chance to lay pipe and made good on it. it was fairly uninspired, this time the nervousness was on her end. she came back to town the next weekend, spent alot of time with her friday and saturday and both nights she was close but didn't want to have sex (thought she was on the rag cause we were making out in my bed and her stomach is growling like mad and she says "my body hates me"). sunday she gives me the ole "don't wanna lead you on so i'm gonna tell you i don't see this working". well fuck. and i know (!) its cause of the limp dick, everything up to that point (and after really) i feel that i played perfectly.

i'm not too gutted because the way i see it, pulling a sister swap would be a fairly ridiculous feat anyway. but i'm still mad at my dick! :mad:

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You got a second chance and you fucked two sisters. I don't see the problem here. Dick didn't go limp the second time, id count that as a complete win and possibly a blessing.

Besides, would you really want to date a girl whose sister you fucked? That just seems like a weird situation.

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It's so much easier when you have someone else to blame. But this is my fault.ni will pay for it.ni have to deal with the consequences.

To clarify myself. So it's not all vague and emo. I cheated on my long distance fiancée of 5 years with my room mates ex. Room mate just moved out, long distance fiancée is done with me.. I think I might win "the shittiest person of the year award"

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I'm so lazy that I sometimes wonder if it's a some sort of mental issue, like I know I really need to study but I just can't bring myself to do it..

Maybe it's just American College Student Syndrome

Edit:

damn haploid y u mad tho? Ain't no trustfund homie dunno where u got that, couldn't b farther from the truth. I work hard for everything I own. but it's ok im bout that positivity

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Fuck my life. Cops came to my room claiming that I sold someone weed, they found my bubbler that I literally got 2 hours ago for my birthday and nothing else, even gave it back to me because they knew it wasn't used, and I might get expelled because the RAs have to write me up for paraphernalia when I'm currently on probation. Shitty birthday if I say so myself

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i haven't been sleeping well lately, and i don't wanna drink myself to sleep every night, so i've been self medicating with weed. it's fucking me up though, because between juggling two work schedules and falling asleep high as shit, i've been waking up in weird panics where i literally do not remember what day it is, and which job i'm supposed to be going to when my alarm goes off. today it went off and i almost rolled back over to just fall asleep thinking it was saturday.

it is not saturday.

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i haven't been sleeping well lately, and i don't wanna drink myself to sleep every night, so i've been self medicating with weed. it's fucking me up though, because between juggling two work schedules and falling asleep high as shit, i've been waking up in weird panics where i literally do not remember what day it is, and which job i'm supposed to be going to when my alarm goes off. today it went off and i almost rolled back over to just fall asleep thinking it was saturday.

it is not saturday.

yo clopek what's up

you should skate in the evening heheh i did a few bs 360s last night and slept like a baby... :cool:

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I would agree with exercise, even though lately I've been smoking weed and then eating tons of candy and passing out. It's been fun, but I need to stop for awhile to get my motivation for the gym back up.

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