Omg Omg Omg I Need Help Sufu Please

[Guest amon goth]

motherfucking Shit. I Was Just Masturbating And Everything Was Going Great. I Was In My Room, I Had My Headphones On, I Was Totally Naked Sitting At My Computer Fapping Away To A Video On Redtube. All Of A Sudden There's This Really Sharp Pain In My Dick, Like It Just Got Stabbed With A Sewing Needle. I Jerked My Hand Back And It Bumped Into My Computer Tower, Which Sits On The Desk. Well, I Had My Stick Of Deodorant On Top Of The Tower, And That Bitch Fell Off And Landed Deodorant-end-down On The Head Of My Cock. Holy Fucking Shit Did That Hurt, And On Top Of That It Hit So Hard That It Actually Forced Some Deodorant Into My Urethra. I've Never Had Anything Burn So Bad In My Entire Life. I Jumped Out Of My Fucking Chair And Stood Up Because It Hurt So Bad; This Caused My Headphone Cable To Get Yanked Out Of My Speakers, Which Caused "oh Yeah Baby Come Deep In My Tight Teen Asshole Uh Uh Uh" To Get Blared Through My Fucking House And Almost Maximum Volume. Now My Eyes Are Watering From The Pain Of The Deodorant Inside My Cock But I Manage To Punch One Of My Speakers Hard Enough So They Turn Off. I Looked Down And Noticed Blood Dripping Off Of My Cock; I Guess The Lip Of The Plastic Deodorant Thing Bit Into My Foreskin As It Connected With My Cock. The Blood Was Dripping Down My Leg.

This All Happened In The Space Of Maybe 6 Seconds. It May Seem Bad But It Gets Worse. Just As I'm Standing There Trying To Figure Out What The Fuck Happened, My Bedroom Door Fucking Opens. My Dad Was Standing There With My Acceptance Letter To Johns Hopkins. I Froze And He Stared At Me, Naked With My Bloody Erection For Maybe 15 Seconds Before He Noticed My Computer Monitor And The Brutal Anal Sex Scene Going On Full-screen. He Immediately Closed The Door And Left Without Saying Anything. This May Seem Embarrassing But My Dad Is A Seriously Conservative Christian. This Happened About 15 Minutes Ago And He Hasn't Said Anything To Me Yet. I'm Still In My Room Trying To Get The God Damn Fucking Old Spice Out Of My Cock. What Should I Do

[billy.]

[Guest amon goth]

i prefer darkwing duck. but it's all good

[geekbonchic]

motherfucking Shit. I Was Just Masturbating And Everything Was Going Great. I Was In My Room, I Had My Headphones On, I Was Totally Naked Sitting At My Computer Fapping Away To A Video On Redtube. All Of A Sudden There's This Really Sharp Pain In My Dick, Like It Just Got Stabbed With A Sewing Needle. I Jerked My Hand Back And It Bumped Into My Computer Tower, Which Sits On The Desk. Well, I Had My Stick Of Deodorant On Top Of The Tower, And That Bitch Fell Off And Landed Deodorant-end-down On The Head Of My Cock. Holy Fucking Shit Did That Hurt, And On Top Of That It Hit So Hard That It Actually Forced Some Deodorant Into My Urethra. I've Never Had Anything Burn So Bad In My Entire Life. I Jumped Out Of My Fucking Chair And Stood Up Because It Hurt So Bad; This Caused My Headphone Cable To Get Yanked Out Of My Speakers, Which Caused "oh Yeah Baby Come Deep In My Tight Teen Asshole Uh Uh Uh" To Get Blared Through My Fucking House And Almost Maximum Volume. Now My Eyes Are Watering From The Pain Of The Deodorant Inside My Cock But I Manage To Punch One Of My Speakers Hard Enough So They Turn Off. I Looked Down And Noticed Blood Dripping Off Of My Cock; I Guess The Lip Of The Plastic Deodorant Thing Bit Into My Foreskin As It Connected With My Cock. The Blood Was Dripping Down My Leg.

This All Happened In The Space Of Maybe 6 Seconds. It May Seem Bad But It Gets Worse. Just As I'm Standing There Trying To Figure Out What The Fuck Happened, My Bedroom Door Fucking Opens. My Dad Was Standing There With My Acceptance Letter To Johns Hopkins. I Froze And He Stared At Me, Naked With My Bloody Erection For Maybe 15 Seconds Before He Noticed My Computer Monitor And The Brutal Anal Sex Scene Going On Full-screen. He Immediately Closed The Door And Left Without Saying Anything. This May Seem Embarrassing But My Dad Is A Seriously Conservative Christian. This Happened About 15 Minutes Ago And He Hasn't Said Anything To Me Yet. I'm Still In My Room Trying To Get The God Damn Fucking Old Spice Out Of My Cock. What Should I Do

I was waiting for this turn into the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song all the way to the very end.

[panthermodern]

copypasta is win

[Guest amon goth]

I was waiting for this turn into the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song all the way to the very end.

i know

this is my new stories thread so i dont make a new one everytime my life experiences are too awesome to not talk about

[julzkind]

thats wat u get fer cummn in yer moms food.

[redgrail]

you are a disturbing individual (0).

[Knugget]

wait what? i thought your'e part of the no fap contest. did you lose already?

[原料かば]

thats some final destination type shit

[DüM]

I miss the bear fucking fishes du

[mrjuby]

i'm looking forward to the parody thread where its amon goth's dad's perspective. (0)

[OMEGA JELLY JIGGLE]

amon goth, the fuck is wrong with you

conservative Christian parents somehow raised a kid to grow up cumming into his cooking, feeding it to his mom

watching teen anal sex and what not

I love America

[Bona Drag]

l HAVE A FEELlNG DIS D00D lS NOT 4 REAL BUT IDK

:confused:

[Sayword]

this is a second masturbation story correct?

Dude I think your riding the wave to hard. I'm pretty sure we all like masturbating as much as the next guy. Enjoy your new found celebrity, but take it slow.

[AstroWolf]

Amon = Older banned poster back for fun?

[Orion]

The replies to this post are way better then the OP.

[homi29]

did something happen to your shift key too?

[redX]

uh oh ... Captain Caps Lock and his shift crew are here

[tRaFFiC LiGhT]

so what happened? you can't post this and not give endingz.

[BAGUETTE]

My roommate is doctor. He could help if you post a pic of ur injured cock.

[salaryman]

I used old spice too.

got those nautical odors.

[jonle714]

pee and cum go both go through the urethra (if i can remember from ap bio...) so just pee and itll come out. duh.

[b.e-n]

yeah you shouldve pissed or came the shit out of your dick and it would've eventually come out. jesus it sounds so fuckin disgusting. but hey, at least you got accepted to john hopkins (id delete that part by the way just in case they see this and tell you it was all a big mistake hahah). this would be the best scene in a movie. it would be an instant classic.

yes, and tell us what happened

edit: jesus, what the fuck: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090417005845AA1GCrI

http://www.christianlinks.com/?p=29155

false alert yo, it was too good to be true anyways...

another edit: i was getting way too excited about this. fuck