How to beat a drug test?

[ILLuminate]

I last messed with weed (brownies) on apr. 18th, 2 days ago. my drug test(s) are probably going to be early-mid may. how long does it take to get out of your system? if i may not have enough time, what should i do between now and then besides not smoke?

[sonicvoodoo]

http://www.cleartest.com/products/synthetic-urine/

[ProfMonnitoff]

dont try to outsmart the cops

usually doesnt work

[goat]

get somebody to pee in a cup for you.

For added excitement, hold the cup for them in your mouth.

[duck sauce]

what kind of test? hair or urine? cus if urine, it'll be gone before then

[Lendo]

^ agreed.

just to make sure, flush your system. drink lots of water, exercise, etc.

for hair tests there are shampoos you can purchase.

[WayneGibbous]

get clean pee (a lot of it too because you have to fill to the line) and tape it to your crotch so you can grab it on the low if they keep the door open. being inside you pants will keep it warm as well.

[WayneGibbous]

oh mid-may? you good dog you good

[ILLuminate]

i'm getting my offers in late april-early may. i get done with school on the may 13th i think, but i dunno how soon they would make me take a test.

[Spaghettini]

methods that have worked so far:

ingredients: certo (fruit pectin), vitamin b multivitamin, lots of water

night before, and the morning off your test, mix one packet of certo with a bottle of water and drink it

keep drinking water heavily for the rest of the night and morning of the test

take a lot of the vitamin b the morning of the test

do not give them the first piss of the day

when you're pissing try and give them "mid-stream", aka not the beginning and not the end, be careful you dont piss on your self doing this

basically you are giving them urine that is so watery that traces of marijuana wont show up, and the vitamin b makes it more yellow so it wont raise any suspicions

alternative method (*this ones a little riskier)::

stop eating carbs a week before the test, i mean literally none

eat plenty of protein and fat

the night before the test, get some sort of aerobic exercise for an hour straight, like running on a treadmill...its important that you do this at a pace you can maintain for an hour

also stay very hydrated

again, don't give them the first piss and make sure you give them "mid-stream"

basically you burn off your top layer of fat, where THC is stored, and replace it with new, clean fat, so THC is less prevalent

both of these are conditional on urine testing. if you are taking a blood or hair test these will do nothing for you.

also these both heavily involve drinking a lot of water, but make sure you dont overdo it for health reasons and because it can arrouse suspicion in the tester. if you're pissing more than every 15 minutes your overhydrated.

both methods have worked for me. the first one i looked up on the internet, the second a friend in the medical field recommended to me. there's no guarantee they will work for you. good luck.

[Spaghettini]

also, IMO, the "bringing clean piss" method is too risky for me. i have tried it and failed. urine is at least 98 degrees (i forget if thats the exact number but its very warm) when it leaves the body. every urine drug test ive ever taken has had a thermometer strip, and if it doesnt register close to that heat, they will reject the sample and require you to give another one. also strapping it to your leg is can be both difficult and messy.

[ILLuminate]

thanks for the responses

[jhxkcd]

fuck - if you only did it once, and you have a month of time in between, even if you did almost nothing (i.e. didn't drink water, exercise, the proverbial 'system flush') - I still think you'd be fine.

The weed would've passed through your system normally.

Hair tests, however, are a completely different ball game.

[Lendo]

as far as hair tests go, do not shave your head beforehand. they can and will take hair from "another area".

[Osmosis Jones]

a month is a long time... just excercise every other day, if you don't already. drink lots of coffee and water and get that piss going.

i've passed a urine test after smoking a bowl 7 days beforehand.

[Orion]

Get a fake cock, strap it on, use it to pee for you.

http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/whizzinator.htm

[moykky]

I last messed with weed (brownies) on apr. 18th, 2 days ago. my drug test(s) are probably going to be early-mid may. how long does it take to get out of your system? if i may not have enough time, what should i do between now and then besides not smoke?

Umm, why you have to take a drug test?

[RobotPunk]

If you don't smoke regularly, it should be out within 2 weeks. If you have a test alot sooner...you'll have to sweat it out. Put on a trashbag and bike in the sauna. Good luck.

[ILLuminate]

going to have to take it for a job. i'm just hoping they let me take it after i get back home from college on the 13th.

[rxtim]

drink so much water that your pee turns clear and take vitamin b pills

[cyberPUNK]

this is easily the most useful thread in the trash.

[homi29]

how the fuck is it legal for schools to drug test you

thats some bullshit

never been drug tested in canada and for that im glad

[cyberPUNK]

how the fuck is it legal for schools to drug test you

thats some bullshit

never been drug tested in canada and for that im glad

from what i understand it's for a potential employer. schools don't test for that in the states. if they did well...there'd be no one but pre-med students.

[pieiskewl]

my highschool is considering drug tests for students doing extra curricular activities. i guess because it's not required for students to do extra curriculars. you're going to have to sign a sheet agreeing to be in a lottery for random drug tests in order to do extra curriculars. what they don't realize is that they will have no clubs and no sports team.

[RobotPunk]

it's been a couple of weeks. did you take it already?

[kaws&effect]

methods that have worked so far:

ingredients: certo (fruit pectin), vitamin b multivitamin, lots of water

night before, and the morning off your test, mix one packet of certo with a bottle of water and drink it

keep drinking water heavily for the rest of the night and morning of the test

take a lot of the vitamin b the morning of the test

do not give them the first piss of the day

when you're pissing try and give them "mid-stream", aka not the beginning and not the end, be careful you dont piss on your self doing this

basically you are giving them urine that is so watery that traces of marijuana wont show up, and the vitamin b makes it more yellow so it wont raise any suspicions

alternative method (*this ones a little riskier)::

stop eating carbs a week before the test, i mean literally none

eat plenty of protein and fat

the night before the test, get some sort of aerobic exercise for an hour straight, like running on a treadmill...its important that you do this at a pace you can maintain for an hour

also stay very hydrated

again, don't give them the first piss and make sure you give them "mid-stream"

basically you burn off your top layer of fat, where THC is stored, and replace it with new, clean fat, so THC is less prevalent

both of these are conditional on urine testing. if you are taking a blood or hair test these will do nothing for you.

also these both heavily involve drinking a lot of water, but make sure you dont overdo it for health reasons and because it can arrouse suspicion in the tester. if you're pissing more than every 15 minutes your overhydrated.

both methods have worked for me. the first one i looked up on the internet, the second a friend in the medical field recommended to me. there's no guarantee they will work for you. good luck.

ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS?

FIRST METHOD LOOKS THE MOST PROMISING...

PLEASE HELP, GOT A URINE ANALYSIS IN THE MORNING...

(HAVENT SMOKED FOR 3 MONTHS AND THEN SMOKED ABOUT 5 TIMES IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS...LAST TIME BEING A BLUNT LASTNIGHT AT 10:00!!!)

AM I FUCKED?