NYC Subway Stories

[TheBrokeDJ]

i remembered this one on the train ride home today:

I was coming home around 9pm one night after classes and got into the 6 station at astor place going uptown. I see this 45 year old asian man walking by and I look at his clothes since i found them interesting. He stops. Walks towards me.

stranger: does this train go to 42nd street?

me: (removing ipod earphones) what?

stranger: does this train go to 42nd street?

me: uh, yeah

at this point he's about six inches away from me and i turn to face the tracks but he doesn't leave. I'm a bit nervous as i'm standing near the edge and he can easily push me.

he taps my shoulder and i turn to face him.

stranger: do you like music?

me: (thinking) of course i fucking like music, i have an ipod

instead i say: uhhh, yeah

stranger: me too

me: ok (i turn back to the tracks)

stranger: (extends his hand) hi i'm john

me: (decide to shake his hand hoping he'll go away) hi

as our hands shake he pulls his away slowly, but lets his middle finger trail against the middle of my palm. I think, "hmmm, that was pretty gay." but make nothing of it.

I turn back around but he's still six inches away. He taps my shoulder again

stranger: so can i have your number?

me: (realizing what the trailing finger meant) whoa, no.

stranger: but i like you.

me: (shitting my pants) uhhmmm thanks.

luckily the train comes and i get right in. He follows me. As the train moves towards union square, the woman sititng across from me gets up and he eagerly takes her place. He stares at me and smiles creepily. He's basically eye-fucking me.

As soon as the doors open, I wait, and right as they begin to close I bolt out into the union square station and see him about to try and come after me. luckily the car doors close in time.

[Guest Snackman]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

I remeber one time these hood ass black kids came on the f train at delancey and saw some debo brolic ass blk dude in super tight skinnys with the new perm and shit and dangle earrings and all that supermo shit. They started talking about him mad loud and shit and he was just there taking it.

All of a sudden he gets us and yells "FUCK YOU BITCHES, I'm a nigga too, i can still whoop your ass." And proceeded to take off his dangles and get in the fighting stance. They were looking shook cause dude is HUGE and was about to fucking whoop that ass and then they stared at each other for about 15 seconds then got off at the next stop.

On some real prison hood queer shit

[fallen angels]

when my gf lived in NY, a old fat hispanic man sat across from her on the subway and was literally jacking off while staring at her. everyone sitting around them acted like they didnt see what was happening.

[Leonard Leroy]

my friend had that happen with his lady friend. They were repulsed. The black midget next to the mr masturbation flipped out on the guy, and chased him out of the train.

[Mr Waffles]

On some real prison hood queer shit

pure poetry

[TheBrokeDJ]

my friend had that happen with his lady friend. They were repulsed. The black midget next to the mr masturbation flipped out on the guy, and chased him out of the train.

oh shit! you reminded me. i once saw a midget sit up on seat and just randomly vomit all over the floor. it was more disturbing than funny and people felt kinda bad for him. wow, haven't thought about that for years

[skiniks]

it's stories like these that make me so thankful for having a car. fuck, i can't stand pervo, creepo, midget ass people.

[nickthechibi]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

I remeber one time these hood ass black kids came on the f train at delancey and saw some debo brolic ass blk dude in super tight skinnys with the new perm and shit and dangle earrings and all that supermo shit. They started talking about him mad loud and shit and he was just there taking it.

All of a sudden he gets us and yells "FUCK YOU BITCHES, I'm a nigga too, i can still whoop your ass." And proceeded to take off his dangles and get in the fighting stance. They were looking shook cause dude is HUGE and was about to fucking whoop that ass and then they stared at each other for about 15 seconds then got off at the next stop.

On some real prison hood queer shit

PUT THIS IN A MOVIE.

you made my day, but I gave rep to you earlier

[coochiemonster]

last summer on one really hot day, i was standing on a busy platform of i forgot which train, but i see right across from me is a big doofy looking guy sweating his ass off. he's reading a magazine and casually puts his left hand in his pants and u can see him scratching/juggling his shit around. he pulls out and not only does he sniff his fingers in front of everyone, but he fucking eats the shit from under his nails. it was like watching national geographic.

[nickthechibi]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

I remeber one time these hood ass black kids came on the f train at delancey and saw some debo brolic ass blk dude in super tight skinnys with the new perm and shit and dangle earrings and all that supermo shit. They started talking about him mad loud and shit and he was just there taking it.

All of a sudden he gets us and yells "FUCK YOU BITCHES, I'm a nigga too, i can still whoop your ass." And proceeded to take off his dangles and get in the fighting stance. They were looking shook cause dude is HUGE and was about to fucking whoop that ass and then they stared at each other for about 15 seconds then got off at the next stop.

On some real prison hood queer shit

also, the Soul Glo commercial from Coming to America

[Guest Phrost]

gay asian creep

this happened to me but i was at a bus stop. 40ish overweight glasses white creep was making really awkward conversation, asking me where i grew up and how long i lived in the city. he asked me if i played sports because i had the body for it. i stepped away from him. he brought up an acquaintance he met once that invited him over to his house in california. creep said he didn't think he would go through with it because "you don't know about some people. they might just tie you up in the basement, ya know?" he ended up giving me his card. he was a consultant i think

[the_state]

G train home tonight...

some old bummy lookin dude is literally babbling to himself in another language nonstop from Lorimer to the second i got off that shit... sounded like portuguese. anyway, around bedford/nostrand this motherfucker lights up a cigarette. around hoyt/schemerhorn the conductor tells him to stop or she'll have the cops pick him up at the next station. he starts babbling and takes a drag, blows it right in her face. she grabs the cig outta his mouth and puts it out on the floor w/ her foot and gets back in the conductor booth.

it was awesome. a cigarette on the train must be so nice...

[jeepster]

G train home tonight...

some old bummy lookin dude is literally babbling to himself in another language nonstop from Lorimer to the second i got off that shit... sounded like portuguese. anyway, around bedford/nostrand this motherfucker lights up a cigarette. around hoyt/schemerhorn the conductor tells him to stop or she'll have the cops pick him up at the next station. he starts babbling and takes a drag, blows it right in her face. she grabs the cig outta his mouth and puts it out on the floor w/ her foot and gets back in the conductor booth.

it was awesome. a cigarette on the train must be so nice...

ask Dino, he knows all about this.

[Darkadious]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

I remeber one time these hood ass black kids came on the f train at delancey and saw some debo brolic ass blk dude in super tight skinnys with the new perm and shit and dangle earrings and all that supermo shit. They started talking about him mad loud and shit and he was just there taking it.

All of a sudden he gets us and yells "FUCK YOU BITCHES, I'm a nigga too, i can still whoop your ass." And proceeded to take off his dangles and get in the fighting stance. They were looking shook cause dude is HUGE and was about to fucking whoop that ass and then they stared at each other for about 15 seconds then got off at the next stop.

On some real prison hood queer shit

it's hard to read your posts with that gif in your sig

[Billy.Barbados]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

I remeber one time these hood ass black kids came on the f train at delancey and saw some debo brolic ass blk dude in super tight skinnys with the new perm and shit and dangle earrings and all that supermo shit. They started talking about him mad loud and shit and he was just there taking it.

All of a sudden he gets us and yells "FUCK YOU BITCHES, I'm a nigga too, i can still whoop your ass." And proceeded to take off his dangles and get in the fighting stance. They were looking shook cause dude is HUGE and was about to fucking whoop that ass and then they stared at each other for about 15 seconds then got off at the next stop.

On some real prison hood queer shit

LOL Some shit like that happened to me!:

When I first moved to Tampa there was some gay dude in my complex like that. The road in my complex was about a mile long, it was just a big oval, similar to a track, and I would run around it. So one day some dude walks up to me as I'm heading to my apartment after running and he has the most feminine voice ever, I thought it was a girl, but it was just a 6'6" 300lb brother named Keandre. This dude was beyond gay, he actually did the dressing as a woman shit[he isn't fooling anybody].

Anyway, long story short; the guy wouldn't stop trying to get with me so I got really rude with him and then he got in his stance. So he doesn't try to punch me, he tried slapping me, dude was full on trying to windmill me. The guy wouldn't stop so I had to Rick James slap that motherfucker.

I've never told anyone about that in real life because it's so embarrassing.

[DaBestSpoona]

when my gf lived in NY, a old fat hispanic man sat across from her on the subway and was literally jacking off while staring at her. everyone sitting around them acted like they didnt see what was happening.

wait did her name begin with a J?

[ojjairus]

<3 this thread. Hopefully it will be me described in one of these posts' one day.

[Sayword]

it's hard to read your posts with that gif in your sig

.

.

Want to give you pos rep. Just ad blocked that shit. nigs an't trying to see that shit while browing the fu.

[6ixes&7evens]

i cant wait to visit NYC it sounds so interesting!

[joey_formal]

3:30am J train from essex street to marcy ave. with notesee....

oldman with a deep sea rod and a bucket....

full of fish.

3:30 am.

[Lab]

i love this thread. subscribed.

[fallen angels]

when my gf lived in NY, a old fat hispanic man sat across from her on the subway and was literally jacking off while staring at her. everyone sitting around them acted like they didnt see what was happening.

oh yeah, i forgot to add that the hispanic grandpa was wearing short shorts and poked his peen out the leg hole to fap

wait did her name begin with a J?

nope

[Lendo]

i still have no idea what their agenda is, if any. all they do is yell nonsensical crap and try and get people off. the best way to deal with them is to just smile at them as you walk in the middle of their little congregation .. gets them so heated.

late pass..

One of some the groups' (quite a few different "sects" actually) main tennants is that the are "teh r33l jewzzz" and that all honkey semites are actually impostors, descended from the Khazars, who were a Turkish tribe that converted to Judaism sometime in the 8th or 9th century.

[st_]

fuck bringing some couch found on the street, dragged through the streets and the filthiest fucking public transport system ever known to man into your home and using it. i hope you cleaned it.

[chingon]

fuck, i get mad crazy when I'm high I hope I don't end up on a subway and someone writes a story about me

[Guest Phrost]

mad gays be eye fucking on the reall

On some real prison hood queer shit

On some ny undercover homo shit

[dino might]

a cigarette on the train must be so nice...

ask Dino, he knows all about this.

that fool dun' even know, its all about btwn. the cars mane, not inside them

[Guest Snackman]

fuck bringing some couch found on the street, dragged through the streets and the filthiest fucking public transport system ever known to man into your home and using it. i hope you cleaned it.

You wylin dawgs. Yoiu sounding lik Howie Mandel ma nigga. This is Ny and everything is dirty, plus that shit was suedee motherfucker. Some real butteryasss seude. Tjhat shit was deadass brand new like suljah boy was filming rich nigga shit and just threw that shit out. seude

[Bigyen]

i guess you don't know this, but this thing lives in your buttaz couch...

[TheBrokeDJ]

first time i saw that pic, i thought it was just one camel spider