Superawkward

[hahapete]

A friend invited me to breakfast yesterday. I hadn't scene her in a couple months so I cleared my busy Saturday Netflix schedule and met her at a spot she's a fan of. We were catching up and then all of the sudden she starts crying hysterically. It caught me off guard cause she's typically very well put together and not the crying-in-public-places type of girl. I tried to comfort her and asked her what was wrong. She said that she was just really happy to see me and missed me. She moved her seat from in front of me to next to me and was clinging onto me crying. Everyone around us was staring and she wouldn't stop crying no matter what I said.

After ten minutes she let go, sighed, and declared her love to me. She was completely serious. She went on and on about how she was so stupid for not dating me when we first met, etc etc. I didn't want to make her cry again so I suggested that we leave the restaurant and go somewhere private to talk instead of responding to her. She agreed and we left. We went to my place (which was a bad idea) because it was close and a private place to tell her I didn't share the same strength of feelings to her and that it wasn't the correct time for me to be in a relationship.

But when we got to my place she started crying about how happy she was and this and that. She has yet to leave my apartment. It's been over 24 hours. I didn't sleep last night because she was either crying, holding onto me awkwardly or both. This morning I told her that I had Easter plans with my family and she invited herself to them and then told me she had already told her parents I was going over for dinner. When I got out of the shower this morning she was going through my things, wearing some of my clothes, and was trying to use my computer. She asked me why I had blocked her on Facebook. I told her I didn't have Facebook anymore. She told me to prove it.

Right now she's showering. I don't know what to do. I doubt there's a way to get out of this without coming off as a dick in her mind. I am pretty sure I've gone too deep without be able to save this from not being more awkward than it is right now. But I know the rest of today will be absolutely tiring and the worst. Hopefully she goes home. I have work and things to do tomorrow morning and I need to sleep. It would be nice to have a women around though. She made me a decent breakfast. And she's good looking. Even if she's a little crazy.

[pepper davies]

Sounds like a secondary plot line from a Murakami novel.

[dovo]

A friend invited me to breakfast yesterday. I hadn't scene her in a couple months so I cleared my busy Saturday Netflix schedule and met her at a spot she's a fan of. We were catchi………...

what the fuck

[e0d9n0b5]

haha pete

[wrong_move]

If you have any knives lying around in the kitchen, you better hope you're not missing one

[Denton]

busy netflix schedule lol

you mean like...

Edited April 15, 2012 by Denton

[Fycus]

A friend invited me to breakfast yesterday....

fuck her face or poopchute, shes beggin for it

why does this shit never happen to me. I would love an emotionally unstable beezy to take home sometime. i guess until then i will live vicariously through you guys

Edited April 9, 2012 by Fycus

[tu_madre51]

I went to a kickback and left early. My roommate comes back telling me one of our friends who was shitfaced, passed out over the toilet , and puking actually shit himself and they had to clean it up. They smelled shit and went into the bathroom and shit was everywhere. Dude probably tried to shit while he was gone. They had to throw away their shoes, socks, and any of their clothes with shit on it out the window. I see him today and try to hold back any jokes relating to taking a shit. Alcohol is bad

[its always cloudy]

wait wait, you want that emotionally unstable beezy attention? sounds like a trip to the local community college's student bar is in order, my du. step that "i'm just trying to figure my life out tooo! we have soooo much in common!" game up!

[boy better know]

why does this shit never happen to me. I would love an emotionally unstable beezy to take home sometime. i guess until then i will live vicariously through you guys

the only thing worse than an emotionally unstable beezy is a beezy that does ketamine

[hahapete]

Sooo...

She tagged along to lunch with my family. Everyone asked me why I didn't mention that I was seeing something. When she was busy talking to my sisters, I told my parents the whole story while we were in another room. They thought it was hilarious and my mother told me that she was a "cute white girl that seems a little confused". My mother busted out twenty photo albums from when I was growing up filled with quite possibly the most embarrassing photos of me in them to share.

She bonded with my family pretty quickly and annoyling well. She was conversing with my family like she had known them for years and they were the best of friends. Eventually I decided it was time to go and said that we were leaving. She spent half an hour saying goodbye to my parents and made plans with my sisters to meet up later in the week.

On my way out my sisters told me not to break it off with her because they liked her and weren't going to stop hanging out with her if we broke up. I told them we weren't even going out and she just randomly jumped into my life this weekened.

So I guess I have a girlfriend now. Because she introduced me as her boyfriend at a like 100 person dinner that her parents were hosting. I've never been a more awkward dinner. I didn't know anyone there. I was introduced to the majority of her extended family. All of which were overtly excited to meet me and asked me various questions. Everyone wanted to know how I knew her. I told them the exact same thing: we met in school and then she brought me to this dinner. She would dodge questions about how long we'd been together. We left pretty early. I barely had anything to eat because I was too busy shaking hands and retelling my life story.

During the hour and a half drive back I told her I thought the entire situation was pretty surreal. She agreed and apologized. It was pretty strange. I for sure thought she would flip out but she didn't. I told her I wasn't entirely sure on what the state of our relationship was because yesterday morning we were old friends who hadn't seen each other in three months and then in thirty-six hours I was suddenly being introduced to her family as her boyfriend. She apologized, again, and told me it was perhaps we were moving too fast. I agreed.

We got back to my place and I told her I was kind of hungry. She offered to make me dinner. She said wanted to make up for the weirdness by making me dinner. I said okay. She made bruschetta and some pasta dish she had to have improvised because I haven't gone grocery shopping in two weeks. And after we ate she said she had to go and left.

She texted me twenty minutes later that she was home.

Now at first I didn't want anything to do with her cause she freaked me out but she isn't that bad. Granted, this could just be me being influenced by the thought of having an attractive female cook me well made food every now and then. I figure I might as well hold onto this for as long as possible, right? If things get too weird, I'll cut it off. She seems kind of bipolar.

But don't worry, I've got an internet clause in my will. If anything happens to me like she kills me or I disappear, you guys will hear about it.

[baconzilla]

^ if any of you guys watch Happy Endings. Hahapetes story sounds exactly like that "Chicksand" episode. Dude you are stuck in chicksand

[OCEANSECT]

^^her whole fam was probably thinking "oh here we go again..."

[Mr. Rager]

Bruh you gotta keep updating us. This is television show worthy.

[gramps]

Now at first I didn't want anything to do with her cause she freaked me out but she isn't that bad. Granted, this could just be me being influenced by the thought of having an attractive female cook me well made food every now and then. I figure I might as well hold onto this for as long as possible, right? If things get too weird, I'll cut it off. She seems kind of bipolar.

You're as nuts as she is. Enjoy your new life as a Moonie.

[wesc]

hahapete, this is overly entertaining. Please do not stop posting all the way leading up to the moment when she finally rapes/stabs you in your sleep. Post pics of this beezy so that sufu can be on the lookout for your future killer.... but on the real talk she seems like a decent girl makin you meals and genuinely caring for you mah duuuuu. see where this goes (hopefully not where your body is in a ditch)

[ranonranonarat]

hahapete, this is the best thing i've read all week.

oh, congrats on the marriage btw!

[mis]

It sounds like if she had tried to rape you somewhere along the timeline of what happened, you would've just gone along with it

[BearCousin]

hahapete tryin to ascend dovos throne

[andrewisdope]

hahapete: what? no box?

[Augustus]

^^her whole fam was probably thinking "oh here we go again..."

so true

[evilgeniusdan]

this is my favorite thread. never stop this thread.

so glad dovo is back and hahapete is killing it. thank you thank you!

[corporalclegg]

Not sure if this belongs here but didnt know where else to post it. So I was at a friend of a friends apartment and it had gotten to be super late and everyone was really drunk and starting to pass out. There are only two bathrooms in the place, one in the room of a guy having unreasonably loud sex for being in a house full of people, and the other is the hallway bathroom, where a girl I knew from a while back but hadnt seen in a long time was passed out with her face on the toilet. I had to piss really bad and wasnt about to bust into the kids room or take the elevator all the way downstairs to go outside so I tried to get the girl to move, and when her passed out ass was practically unresponsive, I decided to just push her back against the wall and take care of my business. About halfway thru my piss the girl fell in between my legs to rest on the toilet again and I ended up peeing on the back of her head for a second and then having to jerk to the left really quick I ended up peeing all over the kids shower curtain. Not knowing what to do at this point, I grabbed my friend and left instantly. Long story short, Awkward situation temporarily avoided and I cant go back to santa cruz for a while.

Edited April 10, 2012 by corporalclegg

[eggshell]

should've pissed in the sink, i remember there being several pages of discussion on that a few years ago

[hahapete]

hahapete tryin to ascend dovos throne

Nah man, Dovo will always be number one.

It sounds like if she had tried to rape you somewhere along the timeline of what happened, you would've just gone along with it

Yeah, probably. Ha.

hahapete, this is overly entertaining. Please do not stop posting all the way leading up to the moment when she finally rapes/stabs you in your sleep. Post pics of this beezy so that sufu can be on the lookout for your future killer.... but on the real talk she seems like a decent girl makin you meals and genuinely caring for you mah duuuuu. see where this goes (hopefully not where your body is in a ditch)

Haha. For sure. I'll let you guys know how things develop. She seems to have calmed down but we'll see in a couple days.

[Desi]

hahapete, don't let her cook for you. she dropping period blood in your food bro.

[Scais]

make sure u hide all your turkey basters hahapete!

[mr fluffernutter]

the new owner of the neighbourhood convenience store is an uber christian korean lady. she is unbelievably nice and for some weird reason seems to really enjoy her new job. she wrapped my girlfriend's Mr. Freeze in a napkin for her and then swung it around like a sword (lightsabre?) and laughed to herself.

anyway i have had multiple awkward interactions with her and now i am afraid to go back.

last time i went she asked me to read this korean local newspaper (it's in english) and then asked me to go outside and check out th new sign for her shop. i had little to no idea what she was talking about so i pretty much ignored her. inside the paper was an interview with her about her new store and the meaning behind the name, etc. all her answers were very christian and positive... at the end was a statement asking people to come by and chat or ask her about the significance of her logo. i haven't gone back since because i don't want to talk to her about the meaning of her logo.

i hate nice people.

Edited April 10, 2012 by diamonds

[Fycus]

Can't neg cause this is superawkward afterall, but that lady sounds nice as fuck man. I try to embrace any strangers who openly show affection and generosity, shit is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going everyday.

[mitcho]

nice people are the shit. except it makes you feel kinda guilty cause you could probably be a nicer person if you tried.