Overheard in...

[cinderella]

A total rip off of http://overheardinnewyork.com/

I'm sure you all have some to contribute

____________________________________________________

Holt Renfrew changing room

Customer: "I love these jeans, but, is Hudson still a cool brand? I mean, Big Star was cool but then it was over SO FAST."

Salesgirl: "Yeah I know, but Hudson is still totally cool"

C: "I also noticed you have no Diesel, are they out now?"

SG: "omg Diesel will NEVER EVER be out of style"

[kunk75]

i used this already but 2 guidos on the LIRR said some girl was like fucking a fish in a barrel.

[who8mahrice]

Dude #1: Today, I saw someone wearing jeans that were like, way too tight.

Asian chick: Skinny jeans? I love skinny jeans!

Dude #1: On a guy? These were on a guy!

Asian chick: Oh, then... no.

Dude #1: Guys shouldn't wear their jeans that tight. It's bad for the balls.

Dude #2: It's seriously bad for the balls. It's unhealthy.

Asian chick (skeptically): Nuh-uh.

Dude #2: You wouldn't know!

Dude #1: You don't even have balls!

Asian chick: No. (considers) But if I did, I'd play with them all the time.

--NYU Elevator

[andewhall]

+Rep for Elevator asian chick.

[cinderella]

ok, they cant be ripped directly from the website...

[Scais]

coworker1: The internet isnt working!

coworker2: Yea, wtf i keep getting this error page cannot be displayed

coworker1: why dont u go on google and look up how to fix this (0)

-At work

[kunk75]

you must work for the government.

[salaryman]

Last week, on the train in Tokyo.

Husband: Wow, that was a long walk. I'm getting pretty hungry.

Wife: I am never travelling anywhere with you again, I'm dead fucking serious.

[Scais]

sadly, i actually work in the medical field...

heres another one

buisnessman on phone: (in cantonese) Bitch

buisnessman on phone: *waits*

buisnessman on phone: Oh hey mother in law, im on my way for dinner right now

-Hong Kong MTR

[djrajio]

Street vendor: Designer jewelry. Five dollars.

Woman: Really? What designer?

Street vendor: Who knows.

[Lab]

in the library

1: hey why are there only whiteboards embedded into the walls but not blackboards

2: institutionalized racism

[gfunkdocta]

theatre ushers while leaving the dark knight

u1: u think the manager will let me off a 1/2 hour early if i skip my 1/2 hour lunch?

u2: no, they lock everyone in; take ur lunch

[evisu 2000]

at holt renfrew

du: i don't like tucking in my dress shirts

du's wife: you need to tuck it in when you wear your louis vuitton belt

[40ozprophet]

ohhh, that one is pretty bad mass..

[conan.]

today at work a ginger maybe like 13 wannabe sceney was wearing girl pants soooo tight that he walked like a penguin literally, it was impossible for him to walk normally... then a chick came in while he was there, wearing same pants

so crayze

[wesc]

walking to dairy queen on the mall sidewalk a couple stands outside the dq.

Girl: Hey ! you wanna get some ice cream !

Guy: Yea so I can rub it all over your ass and titties.

no joke. actually said verbatum. we lul'd so hard.

[Leonard Leroy]

At work (way too common occurance):

Guy: "How long is cocktail hour?"

Waiter: "... .... ..."

[junglejane]

at a car expo in mexico city while looking at a lamborghini diablo:

man 1: wow, look at that, man. that's a beautiful car. I'm pretty sure it's italian.

man 2: *looks at him appalled* dude, are you fucking stupid? that car is european.

[sushijerk]

at the bus depot in an AC casino, around 2 AM:

guy 1: That bitch stole all our shit!

guy 2: Why'd you fall asleep while I was in the shower?

guy 1: I thought she'd be there the whole night.

guy 2: Fuck it, I know where she lives. I'm gonna run her down with my tractor. (wtf)

[aitsuka]

sadly, i actually work in the medical field...

heres another one

buisnessman on phone: (in cantonese) Bitch

buisnessman on phone: *waits*

buisnessman on phone: Oh hey mother in law, im on my way for dinner right now

-Hong Kong MTR

HAHAHAHA, such typical hong kong behaviour

at a car expo in mexico city while looking at a lamborghini diablo:

man 1: wow, look at that, man. that's a beautiful car. I'm pretty sure it's italian.

man 2: *looks at him appalled* dude, are you fucking stupid? that car is european.

dumbass

walking to dairy queen on the mall sidewalk a couple stands outside the dq.

Girl: Hey ! you wanna get some ice cream !

Guy: Yea so I can rub it all over your ass and titties.

no joke. actually said verbatum. we lul'd so hard.

classless

[gimmegimme]

Conversation between teenage girls in McDonald's:

Girl 1 - EWWWW! *spits french fry on floor*

Girl 2 - What's wrong????

Girl 1 - That one tasted like a potato!!!

Girl 2, 3 & 4 - EWWWWWW!

[salaryman]

On train coming home last night.

Girl: So what do you want to eat tonight? We could get curry--there is that place by my house. Or Ramen...oooh..yeah, ramen sounds really good right now. Either one is fine with me, what do you want?

Guy: You've gotten fat lately.

[ChadR]

I was in boston market in philly.

280lbs black mail carrier to his 1 year old baby boy: "We're going to introduce you to chicken eating 101."

[Guest Phrost]

Overheard from my 4th floor apt.

*LOUD whistle from man*

- I was whistling at the GIRL, not the man.

- TURN around, I was whistling at the girl.

- I was whistling at the girl....

- Heyyyyy

[salaryman]

Bathroom, 12th floor. Man on phone.

Guy in stall: Yeah, I should have the report finished tomorrow, I will send it then.

..........................

Guy in stall: Ok, well if its going to be late, I'll let you know. ::guy two stalls over flushes::

..........................

Guy in stall: No, no, I'm not in the bathroom, its just running water, I'm outside. I'm by the bridge, its running water.

::I hold down the flush on purpose for an extended period of time::

..........................

Guy in stall: I'm very sorry, I'll call you back when I'm done. I'm sorry.

[diewhitegirls]

At work (way too common occurance):

Guy: "How long is cocktail hour?"

Waiter: "... .... ..."

In all fairness, many places have created 3 hour long happy...hours, so it's not his fault that it's a stupid question.`

[artificialsky]

today: "I'd hit it so hard that the guy who pulled me outta her would be the new king of england"

[djrajio]

Bathroom, 12th floor. Man on phone.

Guy in stall: Yeah, I should have the report finished tomorrow, I will send it then.

..........................

Guy in stall: Ok, well if its going to be late, I'll let you know. ::guy two stalls over flushes::

..........................

Guy in stall: No, no, I'm not in the bathroom, its just running water, I'm outside. I'm by the bridge, its running water.

::I hold down the flush on purpose for an extended period of time::

..........................

Guy in stall: I'm very sorry, I'll call you back when I'm done. I'm sorry.

I can totally see this in Japanese. Haha. Very funny.