today's news

[tweeds]

Sci-fi Writer Attacked By Flesh-Eating Bacteria; Suffers Near Death Experience

[_ironman]

LA child molester undergoes voluntary castration to leave prison as part of 1999 plea deal

how does having no balls thus losing the ability to ejaculate reduce his capacity and/or desire to molest little girls?

A Michigan high school's star basketball player collapsed on the court and later died after making a game-winning layup in overtime to cap his team's perfect season.

[_ironman]

Ex-Ottawa cop gets prison in teen sex case

"A former Ottawa police officer who was caught in an online teen sex sting after expressing his desire in a fetish chat room to experience the "gift of a 14-year-old’s virginity" was sentenced Tuesday to 10 1/2 years in prison.

......Authorities also found pictures of a minor "photoshopped" onto the bodies of naked women, among other child-sex images on the computer, Song said."

lol wtf

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Mom charged after tot walks into NY road with pot

"Authorities have charged a 30-year-old New York woman with endangering the welfare of a child after police say her toddler wandered into an upstate road clutching a bag of marijuana."

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Missing US student's body found in Spain

"The body of a U.S. exchange student from California was pulled out of a Madrid river on Tuesday, 10 days after he went missing following a night on the town, a police official said.

...The cause of death was not known but there were no immediate signs of foul play........"

yeah he just so happened to die while on exchange in Spain, in a river. that's natural

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Ski rage: Man punched teen girl in face

"A Georgia man who punched a 14-year-old girl in the face for running into his young son on the slopes in Colorado has been fined $500, ordered to attend anger management classes and told to make restitution."

lolll

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TV boss Muzzammil Hassan gets prison for wife's death

"A jury last month found Pakistan-born Muzzammil Hassan guilty of stabbing Aasiya Hassan and beheading her six days after she filed for divorce.

Hassan argued she had abused him and that he had acted in self-defence."

i cut off her head. in self defence, of course.

[pieiskewl]

Marketing exec sues fashion mogul, says wild 'swinger' propositioned his wife, owes him millions

[Vampyrvargfesten]

Woman becomes a grandmother at 23

[Pavlov's Bell]

Snoop still bangin

[_ironman]

18 arrested in assaults on 11-year-old Texas girl

nasty

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Mom arrested in newborn's decapitation

wtf

[tweeds]

Snake Dies of Silicone Poisoning After Biting Model's Breast

[Chicken]

This woman crashed a car with 54 bags of heroin in her vagina

[_ironman]

Material on work computer private, court rules

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/ontario/material-on-work-computer-private-court-rules/article1952239/

"The case involved a Northern Ontario high school teacher charged with possessing child pornography. The judges said that police breached his Charter rights by viewing his computer files without a warrant.

Mr. Cole’s responsibilities included patrolling students’ e-mails and files. The Crown alleged that he discovered a large cache of explicit nude photographs of an underage female student and copied them into his own computer hard drive."

lol

[sybaritical]

[tweeds]

^ AP reporter must have had a fine time writing that one up.

[Bona Drag]

‘Can I have your autograph, miss? I saw you in a porn film’... School worker suspended after secret life exposed by student

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1369740/School-worker-Samantha-Ardente-suspended-porn-star-life-exposed-student.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

[_ironman]

GTA man dies after falling into pasta machine

A 26-year-old man died after falling into a pasta machine Monday afternoon, said police.

http://www.thestar.com/news/crime/article/973106--gta-man-dies-after-falling-into-pasta-machine?bn=1

[blm14]

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

http://perezhilton.com/2011-05-13-accountant-allowed-to-masturbate-at-work

[_ironman]

Moneyville blogger Sheryl Smolkin thinks an Arizona proposal to levy a $50 tax on overweight Medicaid recipients is a dumb idea.

of course she does

[sybaritical]

Russian man buries himself alive, dies by mistake.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

MI6 attacks al-Qaeda in 'Operation Cupcake': British intelligence hacked into an al-Qaeda online magazine and replaced bomb-making instructions with a recipe for cupcakes

brilliant

[_ironman]

2 killed after bear hit by car crashes into SUV

A 25-year-old Ottawa woman and a 40-year-old Gatineau man were killed instantly on Highway 148 Monday night after a black bear tossed by another collision crashed through the windshield of their SUV with such force that it burst straight through the back window, too.

[bryanayrb]

According to the Smoking Gun, 29-year-old Angela Voelkert created a fake Facebook account for 17-year-old “Jessica Studebaker," complete with a trashily attractive photo, and friended her ex-husband. Then, in an attempt to gain information she could use against him in a custody battle, she chatted him up. He said he put a GPS tracking device on his ex-wife's car, the more easily to monitor her every move. And he told "Jessica" that "you should find someone at your school…that would put a cap in her ass for $10,000." He had plans to "take care of" old Angela, he said. Heavily based on the exchanges, the FBI arrested 38-year-old David Voelkert on Friday, but did he ever have a surprise for them.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/06/10/digital-detectives-custody-battle-leads-to-facebook-double-sting/#ixzz1OthWDgmS

[blm14]

Seems apropos for supertalk:

"SUPERMAN SWITCHES TO JEANS

Man of steel ditches the red underwear"

http://www.shortlist.com/cool-stuff/design/superman-switches-to-jeans

[blm14]

oh, ny post, u so silly

[Chicken]

pretending to be gay is old news at superfuture, but i guess not in the softball world:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/30/sports/softball-case-raises-question-who-qualifies-as-gay.html?hp

[tweeds]

Monkey steals photographer's camera; takes a WAYWT

[_ironman]

Fake money sparks massive traffic jam in Moscow

somebody made a joke by throwing wads of bookmarks resembling thousand-ruble ($35) notes along a stretch of the road circling Moscow.

[gfunkdocta]

Anybody recognize the fellow on the right?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/14/miami-truck-filled-with-animals_n_898148.html

A car filled with goats, roosters, pigeons, guinea pigs and ducks led to animal cruelty charges against two men in Miami on Monday.

Police responded to a call that noises, sounding like baby cries, were coming from a parked car. There wasn't any child inside, but cops found animals "in distress," including four goats "tied up inside plastic bags," CBS Miami reported.

One of the goats died, but eight roosters, four guinea hens, four pigeons, a duck and the other goats were taken into custody by animal control, CBS said.

Almost an hour after police discovered the traveling and cruel menagerie, James Arroyo Jr. and Raul Armenteros returned to the vehicle and were busted according to TV station WPLG.

Miami-Dade Police charged each man with 22 counts of animal cruelty with intent to injure or kill and held them on $110,000 bond.

[blm14]

I seem to remember seeing him in some kind of film media. I can't seem to recall what though....

[_ironman]

Gang of raccoons snatches family cats

Richard Thibeault says his 17-year-old Siamese cat, Kokanee, was cornered by two raccoons in his driveway Sunday morning and dragged away screaming.

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/1027987--gang-of-raccoons-snatches-family-cats?bn=1

[blm14]

that's really sad. poor little old man

[sybaritical]

Unemployed Swedish Man builds nuclear reactor in kitchen.

buys radioactive material " on Ebay "