shit you hate

[sidneylo]

come to think of it, i don't like to associate with asian youth, period. allow me to make a blanket statement...but everything about it just turns me off...the clique-ishness, the girls all seem like they're on some playin games shit and from my experience asian girls have more insecurities than other races' females i deal with. gimme a break now, i'm a fuckin grown man. I go back to Hong Kong, come home then stand on the street for a while and i feel i don't relate to any of that shit..i like America much better.

self-loathing.

Totally. I can't stand Asians in a weird judgemental blanket type of way. It's either they come off as the fobby type or whatever... I just lump them into my own mental categories for Asians--all of which I have gripes with. I don't HATE them per se, they just annoy me infinitely.

As an Asian (Chinese, if that makes a diffference) guy--I'm completely enamored with the type of Asian girl who's assimilated so well into American culture that I don't see myself having a chance because I'd assume they only date white guys (or any non-asian guy for that matter.)

I'm just fucked up in the head... don't know what I want. or like. cept I know I will be hesitant to date a white girl... the last one was a NUT JOB.

And nut job in the bad way...

[Guest jmatsu]

i am probably sexist, but i don't care. am i the only one who feels distain toward there so-called "liberated" asian-american girls.

in japan it's all about bushido and the bakufu era.

i can't image any korean guys or ghenghis kahn taking no lip either.

[down4nyhc]

Totally. I can't stand Asians in a weird judgemental blanket type of way. It's either they come off as the fobby type or whatever... I just lump them into my own mental categories for Asians--all of which I have gripes with. I don't HATE them per se, they just annoy me infinitely.

As an Asian (Chinese, if that makes a diffference) guy--I'm completely enamored with the type of Asian girl who's assimilated so well into American culture that I don't see myself having a chance because I'd assume they only date white guys (or any non-asian guy for that matter.)

I'm just fucked up in the head... don't know what I want. or like. cept I know I will be hesitant to date a white girl... the last one was a NUT JOB.

And nut job in the bad way...

The whole thing is that when you grow up in the community of your own nationality, you tend to keep their ideology on a lot of subjects. I for one did not do this and therefore cannot stand eastern european girls for not understanding why I dress or look in a certain way or why I listen to certain music. They seem to all think in the same way and it really turns me off.

[canice]

so what exactly is your general ideal image of the male and female asian-identity/characteristics/persona? what qualities are necessary/unecessary to suffice as an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend? in your opinion of course.

okay i know you're being sarcastic, but where i grew up, every asian was either the slacker who wore expensive clothes and drove a rice rocket, or overly consumed with getting into the hardest computer engineering program in the country. i think a lot of it has to do with being from immigrant families or filial responsibility, but the absolutism to which some people (regardless of ethnicity) define themselves is BORING.

[canice]

there is no part of that sentence that i don't like.

does it turn you on?

[Guest jmatsu]

I know creed shouldn't matter when it comes to "partners", but over the recent years I've been longing for a HK/Japanese/Korean girl, but no luck I mean, do Japanese girls even date Chinese guys?! Also, this is going to sound shallow, but all the HK girls here are really badly dressed... like really bad.

japanese girls do date chinese guys. you have your british swagger (a def plus), and you dress better then alot of chinese and jap guys i know. you shouldn't have a big problem.

[canice]

I could have sworn I read somewhere on this forum that you were gay...didn't you say somewhere that you were gay?

no i am not a lesbian.

in your experience, were they the children of an all-asian household? also did you date a particular asian nationality (perhaps by coincidence) more than others? don't really know why i'm asking, i'm just curious . I don't know if you're talking about FOB-types, or rather children of 1st/2nd gens who don't really "get" cultural norms or how to behave in a relationship (or merely in the presence of a member of the opposite sex)

in particular, one chinese guy i briefly dated was born here and lived in the sticks (ie: so white he was the only asian in a high school of ~900). but he still retained this hard-wired desire for a submissive chinese girlfriend who would come running to him when she broke a nail.

the fob types don't like me because i'm too "white".

[Guest jmatsu]

okay i know you're being sarcastic, but where i grew up, every asian was either the slacker who wore expensive clothes and drove a rice rocket, or overly consumed with getting into the hardest computer engineering program in the country. i think a lot of it has to do with being from immigrant families or filial responsibility, but the absolutism to which some people (regardless of ethnicity) define themselves is BORING.

no seriously, i am curious about your ideal asian guy (unfortunately i'm just too sexist). you made the comment about some fob types being too whiny, and gave me a general vibe of the "don'ts" of asian men. what about the "do's?"

i lived in japan until 10 and have never had a sustained relationship with an asian american/canadian/enlishwoman so i am genuinely curious about your opinion. i promise that i have no flamewar intentions.

[fade to black2]

i relate to not being able to fit into the typical chinese 'mold' here at school and elsewhere, thus being ostracized from the ethnic clique...even though i do speak the native language.

people back home are always tellin me i'm so "guai zai" (white) in my ways...well like i say, better to stand out than conform, any day of the week. I probably come off as oddball and a bit eccentric to anyone i meet, but probably more so to the average asian who i think tends to be more conservative in a lot of personality and social traits...

I'm the Chinese Kanye West!!! "If y'all fresh to death, then i'm deceased"

[Guest jmatsu]

fade 2 black:

that's interesting. i speak jap, and pretty much grew up in america after 10. i was/am never ostracized by japanese because of my semi-western upbringing. in fact it's kind of the opposite of the situation. i find that a lot of my superiors are cooler/more lenient for some of my cultural flaws/ignorance and that it is pretty easy to make friends (maybe because of the curiosity). i give china a couple more years... you will def be in a similar situation soon.

[fade to black2]

fade 2 black:

that's interesting. i speak jap, and pretty much grew up in america after 10. i was/am never ostracized by japanese because of my semi-western upbringing. in fact it's kind of the opposite of the situation. i find that a lot of my superiors are cooler/more lenient for some of my cultural flaws/ignorance and that it is pretty easy to make friends (maybe because of the curiosity). i give china a couple more years... you will def be in a similar situation soon.

i am fine getting along with my comrades given that they're either out of the schooling system or older than i am. Likewise it's that curiosity factor and probably due to being more mature they can adjust easier. It's my peer group, in the current environment I'm in that i tend to have problems.

[Analog]

where are you fade?

[fade to black2]

where are you fade?

i'm currently in my last semester at the university of michigan in ann arbor...come april my future is pretty much a dice roll, but chances are i'll be ending up back in the motherland, where the fam is.

[Analog]

HK? what are you studying?

[Guest jmatsu]

i'm currently in my last semester at the university of michigan in ann arbor...come april my future is pretty much a dice roll, but chances are i'll be ending up back in the motherland, where the fam is.

do they still have nectarines??? that club sucked!

[fade to black2]

haha you mean Necto...yeah i'm not too keen on the clubs around here. but necto is still pretty popular.

analog: cultural anthropology major...its not a business or even econ degree, but i've done pretty well in it and hopefully the critical thinking skills, keen eye for research, and sensitive understanding of global issues i've gained from it can translate into any job other than working the Mickey D's cash register

[Guest jmatsu]

haha you mean Necto...yeah i'm not too keen on the clubs around here. but necto is still pretty popular.

when i was last in michigan 11 years ago it was seriously called nectarine's.

[canice]

no seriously, i am curious about your ideal asian guy (unfortunately i'm just too sexist). you made the comment about some fob types being too whiny, and gave me a general vibe of the "don'ts" of asian men. what about the "do's?"

i lived in japan until 10 and have never had a sustained relationship with an asian american/canadian/enlishwoman so i am genuinely curious about your opinion. i promise that i have no flamewar intentions.

well since most chinese-canadians are first or second gen, they hold many of their parents' morals and ideas, and it just conflicts everything about me. i'm extremely liberal, political, sometimes feminist, and don't really give a shit about dating conventions (ie: sexual conventions, who pays for dinner, buying gifts, being sappy, the idea that boy=dominant/girl=submissive) or gender conventions (no dyke-hinting here, but i mean, i dress like a dude sometimes, almost all male friends, swear like a sailor, ride a bike, etc).

and the ones i have met are morally conservative, politically apathetic or right-wing, homophobic (maybe not openly, but have problems with even talking with a gay man much less befriending one), have this sense of entitlement about their intelligence/education, and are into shit i don't care about (cars, video games, money, stocks, getting good grades). so yeah. i know it's all cultural upbringing, but that doesn't mean i should have to take one for the team and date a dude i don't intellectually respect.

that, and being born in toronto has conditioned me to prefer the western ideal of male physicality (tall, lean, blond/brown, blue eyes) but a lot of asian guys are hot. unfortunately i've developed this negative association to all the aforementioned characteristics, so i have a harder time being attracted to asian guys to begin with. that said, they do dress better (so don't worry, rirawin).

i welcome exceptions to prove me wrong.

UGH this sounds like a craigslist ad.

[sidneylo]

UGH this sounds like a craigslist ad.

You're about to get an inbox flooded with peen from m4w in search of an Asian princess...

[Servo2000]

and the ones i have met are morally conservative, politically apathetic or right-wing, homophobic (maybe not openly, but have problems with even talking with a gay man much less befriending one)

I'm not being racist or anything here, but a lot of asian men / teens I know are ridiculously awkward about / towards gay people. I'm not making a generalization, this is simply in reference to persons-of-asian-descent that I know, but it'd be interesting to know if this was fairly common? I know the ones that I know that are awkward about it came to America in their lifetime, so it could definitely be something cultural I'm not aware of.

[sidneylo]

I know the ones that I know that are awkward about it came to America in their lifetime, so it could definitely be something cultural I'm not aware of.

I think the immigrants have a varied opinion in comparison to 1st, 2nd, etc. gen kids. My parents are deathly afraid of black people... and gays. They won't say it in front of anyone, but I get the notion that they're quite terrified sometimes.

[Analog]

I'm not being racist or anything here, but a lot of asian men / teens I know are ridiculously awkward about / towards gay people.

Can't this be said for non-asians as well? Blacks, east-indians, arabic/middle-eastern, "white", middle-america...?

[lithiumsys]

It's some more than others though.

[bangbangbang]

I've tried dating cbc guys, and it didn't work out. I've tried dating some white guys, and most of that didn't pan out either. But I did meet someone who's atypical (by western standards) in so many respects that it's worked out for us. He's white, but not some typical white North American guy (which I love). I'm cbc, but definitely do not have traditional values nor do I follow social conventions. I blame the liberal parenting.

canice, you and I are eerily similar. No hardcore or fixed gears here though.

Oh, I loveee guys with dark hair and blue/green/grey eyes. No blondes.

[fndmybetterhalf]

I gotta agree about the koreans hatin on gay thing. I think its cuz theyre not really exposed to the gay culture. Once again, not generalizing but alot of koreans i know live in a small little suburb, raised a Christian, in their rich homes and their nice BMW's and arent very much exposed to anything but...little suburbs, christianity, rich homes and bmw's. I would guess the outcome of that would make them awkward around gay people. When i went to visit my parents, i was watching some korean tv show where they openly called eachother "homo" on TV as an insult, making fun of eachother. Now i know that occurs here too but it seemd like it was just so casual, like they actually call people homos cuz they dislike them. :/ just siomething to think about.

[lithiumsys]

Really? I've been around Koreans and Chinese who were clearly uncomfortable around gay people. I've also seen east-indians squirm, and greeks/italians who couldn't even look a gay person in the eyes (of course they talk a lot of shit about "fucking fags" when there are no "fags" to be found).

imo it really only depends on where your standing.

I honestly can't think of a "race" of people who, as a people, are comfortable with homosexuality.

Now that I really think about it, it's moreso religion than race, really. Christians don't really seem to take kindly to homosexuals at all; it's "unnatural" or something to that extent. The only way it really seems to vary is in the way it's expressed, which may be why race is brought into it.

From my experience, asians tend to be more secretive with it. Blacks are more open, but have their limits to some extent. Whites vary a lot, since there are so many different cultures within it, I've seen a great bunch completely accepting of it, but then others who are the complete opposite; won't even let a gay guy touch them.

[oOmegaOo]

Now that I really think about it, it's moreso religion than race, really. Christians don't really seem to take kindly to homosexuals at all; it's "unnatural" or something to that extent. The only way it really seems to vary is in the way it's expressed, which may be why race is brought into it.

From my experience, asians tend to be more secretive with it. Blacks are more open, but have their limits to some extent. Whites vary a lot, since there are so many different cultures within it, I've seen a great bunch completely accepting of it, but then others who are the complete opposite; won't even let a gay guy touch them.

Does this mean that blacks and asians have a homogenous cultures?

[sidneylo]

Does this mean that blacks and asians have a homogenous cultures?

All look same.

[Analog]

Does this mean that blacks and asians have a homogenous cultures?

Homo ? ?

[oOmegaOo]

My wordplay is ridiculous!