REALL1's "If I Had Stole It" A Crash Course in Shoplifting

[REALL1]

I do not condone shoplifting and find it in most cases morally unsound and unneccesarily risky.

The most obvious motive to steal is to obtain things normally out of reach, for this matter I find it a curious topic for which I cannot decide it's inherant good or evil. The text that follows should make just about anyone with five fingers and half a brain a capable shoplifter.

The most powerful asset of a shoplifter is knowledge. Educating yourself about that which you are stealing, what kind of security tags it will have on it, and also the Loss Prevention policies of the store you plan on shop lifting from. Another word to the wise is to know that if you're an adult, theft is punishable by law, and any theft for most east coast states nearing 100$ total is a felony.

I. The first step to shoplifting is knowing that which you plan on taking. It is always wise to have been to the store, found the item you want, and noted the type of security tag. More on security tags later, but for the moment just know that any tag with ink in it is a dangerous Loss Prevention weapon. It will spray ink all over you for just looking at it the wrong way, the ink is indelible and will ruin selvage denim along with any other worth while labels you're wearing.

Also in this first step, notice the employees. How many are trying to help you purchase something? How many are far too pushy? Is there some guy in a baseball cap casing you? If the answer to any or all of these questions is yes, you maybe in danger of being tagged as a shoplifter. If that person trying to help you assumes you're up to no good, you're fun may be ruined for anywhere from the next shift change to a month. Those wierd looking guys with caps on are undercover LP (Loss Prevention) agents. They are watching the store from the perspective of the customer, and will bust the majority of shoplifters in the store. Remember Winona Ryder? Yea those videos are what the media can show on TV of her shoplifting, and what ultimately got her busted, but it was LP agents that testified against her, caught her, and physically kept her in the store till Authorities came.

Casing the employees can save you some community service, but being faster and stronger than these employees and LP can too. So it's not the easiest way, but if it comes down to being caught or dashing out the door while throwing the items youve planned on shoplifting back at LP so be it! Anything beats jail time, and anything, anything beats a soiled permanent record, anything. So in the instance that you follow everything in my guide to the T, and still are somehow caught, know the exits, know the most crowded places around you, and get out of there, fast. Personally, it's saved me a couple heartaches, I mean it would have ever stolen anything. There isn't too much physical force that these guys can exert on you without breaking alot of laws, overpowering them just takes a swift pull of their hand off your collar, and 2 quick feet.

If I were going to ever steal anything, I would also look at what the immediate surroundings of the store are like, what kind of lighting is around the entrances and exits of the store, and where I could possibly get rid of merchandise if I needed to upon leaving the store.

II. The second step to being successful at shoplifting is the right equipment. Alot of security devices are a make or model of the SuperTag. The most common supertag is the MII. This supertag device is a pin and lock setup and looks something like a beige or grey piece of rectangular or trapezoidal plastic with a semi-sphere button used to affix it to the clothing. These are ofcourse easy to remove with the ebay-able SuperTag remover. There is plenty of information to be had about Sensormatic and their SuperTag on their website. The poor man's way to remove this is as simple as a sturdy Leather Man or Screwdriver (I don't really appreciate the Screw Driver approach, its messy, loud, and hard to carry in anything except a backpack.) Removing the tag isn't the problem most shoplifters have, it is finding ample time to remove it that they find difficult. The easiest solution to this, is taking the merchandise to a dressing room and immediately going to work. The best way to silently remove one is to insert the flathead tool on your LeatherMan into the slit between the SuperTag and the SuperTag's button. Prying slowly, and moving circularly around the button will slowly force the device apart. As soon as the metal pin is visible, that holds the Pin and Tag together, switch tools on your Leather Man to the wire cutter, and cut it the pin swiftly. The best way to conceal the noise of cutting the metal is by covering your cutting hand with other clothing you took into the dressing room.

III. Exiting the dressing room is best done by concealing the clothes under clothes you wore in. If I were to steal anything, I would wear in something bland and casual like brown dickies and a nice fitting tee. The Average Joe fashion is what you're looking for. The guy that could be anyone.

With your jeans, or shirt in your jeans, or shirt on under your shit, it's best to make your exit by taking everything you brought off its respective hanger and handing it to the teller or whoever in a clump. In this instance that they asked you to count your items prior to entering, always count incorrectly, or carry an extra item in concealed in another article of clothing.

IV. An expert shoplifter appears to take his time while actually hurrying. The best way to evade ever being caught, is to move fast when no one is watching. When you're actually exiting the store, don't run, but make a quick exit while talking to someone on your phone. Look around, does anyone appear to be LP? Are there two cops by the door? If so, turn around, go back to the dressing room and take off anything you intended on stealing. In 38 states concealement is only grounds for suspicion and not legal reprimand. That means you're not guilty till you leave the store with the merchandise, you're just really shady!

V. Why shoplift? Well why else? To get your hands on designer jeans/jackets/just about whatever and either rock the hell out of it, or sell it. Selling stolen goods, especially clothing is such a lucrative business that most shoplifters steal simply for the return they get at a consignment shop across the street from their favorite lift spot. It's also a great way to get books.

VI. If I notice a vested interested in the thread, I'll definetly continue with a more detailed How To. But for the moment, let's just humor the idea of free dior jeans. By the way, I'd assume that no one would ever be lame enough to ever steal from a store of anything less than incorporated proportions.

[C0C0]

lol wow =x

[sidneylo]

Considering the Dior Homme store in Midtown NY has a big ol' fella at the front, barely any patronage, and two employees, I'd be shitting my pants and in a feverish sweat if I was trying to steal something haha.

But dope information--very detailed. Post more, it's informative and food for thought.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

good post.

[ghostdeini]

don't see why this should be deleted... if anything, I'd like to see more. knowledge is power!

[LaughingBuddha]

Wow. So descriptive it reads like a movie.

[sycamore no more]

Did you not know that REALL1 is the next Hunter S. Thompson?

[REALL1]

Due to the messages and replies to this thread that I have recieved, I have decided to revise this Crash Course into a series of episodes based on the many aspects of this interesting discussion topic. I am also intrigued to see if anyone comes forth with anything new. For the moment, rest assured I will deliver entertaining, education posts once a week at least each based on one aspect and many more unmentioned aspects of my former post. Stay tuned, and for the mean while feed me some input so I know just exactly what you guys are interested in reading.

[red]

revolutionaryleft.com has a huge thread on shoplifting. figures.

[sean_]

fucking awesome

[showbiz00ditc]

yea pretty amazing. we should start setting up an alternative way now to get more information incase this thread gets the LOCK

[youngluc]

i'd be curious to see what kinda stuff people know about different stores and their loss prevention policies

[fixoid]

companies factor theft into their prices, so if you don't steal they get free money.

[onemancult]

companies factor theft into their prices, so if you don't steal they get free money.

amen to the truth.

[goldengloves]

I would say a store like Barneys Co Op would be an easy target but a place like Dior Homme, not so much.

A lot of companies/stores now are getting hidden sensors within the garment. I am pretty sure Banana Republic and J Crew do this. The bad thing for them is that they are really easy to just snip off with scissors.

After working in retail for a while and having a buddy of mine work in loss prevention for Target, I wouldn't give any of these methods a try though. Fact is, most of the loss prevention people are just as smart, if not smarter than the average thief.

This is an interesting topic though. Because I wonder how often things get stolen from small boutiques like where most of us shop.

P.S. Red-That site is really....well, weird! Those people are on a whole 'nother level. lol

[Shark]

I find this thread despicable as well as all the posters who've responded positively to its underlying message.

Try spending more time figuring ways of legitimately making money to spend on the goods you covet and less time scheming ways of getting things the easy, pathetic way.

I hope some of you broke, unproductive rejects of civility actually try to apply these methods, get caught, and have yourselves arrested/fined for committing a felony. Put yourselves in a several-thousand-dollar hole for trying to obtain something of cost for nothing. The only thing better would be if the store/boutique owner or personnel broke your noses for attempting to shoplift merchandise. I know I'd do it if I were part of the management team regardless of any possible battery charges that may result.

And please, if only to keep yourselves from appearing anymore lowly and pathetic, don't argue the 'but prices of such & such are over-inflated anyway/businesses factor in losses from theft into their prices/etc.' If that's truly your stance, you'd be hypocrites if you did anything less than boycott said businesses/merchandise. Don't make this into a moral discussion when the mere premise of obtaining something for nothing illegally is morally corrupt.

Get an education, get a job, f*ing bums.

[drapygo]

orly!?!?1/

[onemancult]

I find this thread despicable as well as all the posters who've responded positively to its underlying message.

Try spending more time figuring ways of legitimately making money to spend on the goods you covet and less time scheming ways of getting things the easy, pathetic way.

I hope some of you broke, unproductive rejects of civility actually try to apply these methods, get caught, and have yourselves arrested/fined for committing a felony. Put yourselves in a several-thousand-dollar hole for trying to obtain something of cost for nothing. The only thing better would be if the store/boutique owner or personnel broke your noses for attempting to shoplift merchandise. I know I'd do it if I were part of the management team regardless of any possible battery charges that may result.

And please, if only to keep yourselves from appearing anymore lowly and pathetic, don't argue the 'but prices of such & such are over-inflated anyway/businesses factor in losses from theft into their prices/etc.' If that's truly your stance, you'd be hypocrites if you did anything less than boycott said businesses/merchandise. Don't make this into a moral discussion when the mere premise of obtaining something for nothing illegally is morally corrupt.

Get an education, get a job, f*ing bums.

You'd say the same thing to a poor man stealing a loaf of bread for him and his kid, I'd assume?

I'm just interested in how nuanced your blanket judgement on theft is.

I won't get into personal reasons/justifications for why I do what I do, but rest assured that A. I have a great education and a great job and B. most people who steal are not poor, uneducated bums. Further, your characterization smacks of classism. The poor and uneducated are typically in positions where it is made difficult for them to become educated and become wealthy.

As far as I know, you're just a run-of-the-mill guy who still thinks wearing hoodies under a blazer is sharp-looking. I'd assume you have nice, traditional values, maybe you think graffiti is disgusting because walls were meant for structural support, not art.

So, I can't argue with you about all this because I know there's nothing to really work with, in my opinion, especially once I take into consideration previous debates, but please answer my initial question, as I'm interested in your answer.

[azad]

this thread is truly beautiful.

[evisu 2000]

thou shalt not steal but i stole

ran up in sak's with 2 gats and i stole

snatched kangols bank rolls gold stole

crashed a car on the fdr that i stole

60 lo hats 50 slacks i stole

always had a welfare ho that stole

the same day i came home from jail i stole

on park ave in a jag i stole

knocked out the guard by the door when we stole

we took a dollar van on the rush when we stole

civilian cameras watch me but i still stole

see me on the train witya chain that i stole

in new york we stole, new jerz we stole, nc we stole philly we stole dc we stole

[Shark]

You may have an education but you're certainly not smart. You know why? Because you made a comparison between stealing luxury items for which there is only want -- not need -- and stealing necessities without which one may not live.

Those who steal not out of necessity but out of want are detestable low-lives that would rather resort to unjust means of obtaining their fancies than apply their resources to rightfully acquiring their wants. This is especially true for those of us living in developed societies where social and income mobility is more a meritocracy than ever before. Rest assured, there was no, as you put it, 'classism' in my words. I simply see those like you -- people with a relatively high standard-of-living who steal out of want -- as pathetic, detestable bums. Nothing against homeless people. That's another topic altogether.

The grafiti remark made me laugh. Not because it was funny or anything, but because it further illustrated your limited capacities. There's a difference between vandalism and grafiti: the latter can be appreciated while the former should be detested. Whether I appreciate grafiti or not is irrelevant.

To conclude, you are a loser. You steal because you want to live outside your means and you're under the misunderstanding that there's no other avenue for vertical mobility up the social ladder other than a false, corrupt one. In my eyes, no matter how exclusive your clothing, no matter how lavish your lifestyle, you are a bum.

[azad]

it's graffiti, by the way.

[red]

shark, england, and minya are the trout squads only hope. you guys better get to sucking.

[ghostdeini]

Those who steal not out of necessity but out of want are detestable low-lives that would rather resort to unjust means of obtaining their fancies than apply their resources to rightfully acquiring their wants. This is especially true for those of us living in developed societies where social and income mobility is more a meritocracy than ever before. Rest assured, there was no, as you put it, 'classism' in my words. I simply see those like you -- people with a relatively high standard-of-living who steal out of want -- as pathetic, detestable bums.

and I presume you've never downloaded mp3's illegally off the internet? unless, of course, it was strictly out of need, not want.

also depending on the total value of the goods you steal, it could swing either way as a misdemeanor (slap on the wrist) or felony (fucks up your day).

don't be a turd

[onemancult]

You may have an education but you're certainly not smart. You know why? Because you made a comparison between stealing luxury items for which there is only want -- not need -- and stealing necessities without which one may not live.

Those who steal not out of necessity but out of want are detestable low-lives that would rather resort to unjust means of obtaining their fancies than apply their resources to rightfully acquiring their wants. This is especially true for those of us living in developed societies where social and income mobility is more a meritocracy than ever before. Rest assured, there was no, as you put it, 'classism' in my words. I simply see those like you -- people with a relatively high standard-of-living who steal out of want -- as pathetic, detestable bums. Nothing against homeless people. That's another topic altogether.

The grafiti remark made me laugh. Not because it was funny or anything, but because it further illustrated your limited capacities. There's a difference between vandalism and grafiti: the latter can be appreciated while the former should be detested. Whether I appreciate grafiti or not is irrelevant.

To conclude, you are a loser. You steal because you want to live outside your means and you're under the misunderstanding that there's no other avenue for vertical mobility up the social ladder other than a false, corrupt one. In my eyes, no matter how exclusive your clothing, no matter how lavish your lifestyle, you are a bum.

i just want to let you know that i've never stolen a luxury good, nor would i ever steal a luxury good, because the idea of stealing a luxury good is wrong to me. not because it is 'trying to live outside of your means', though, but whatever.

by the by, i didn't make a comparison between the two. i just wanted your honest opinion on one.

i had a really great response written but the crash ate it up, but i just want it known that me and my non-exclusive clothing and far from lavish lifestyle, all paid for by dollars i earn by working hard every day, are not going to take this lightly- Shark, I'm going to rob your house.

[REALL1]

Due to the inconsitency of the supertalk server during the past couple of weeks I have been delaying my first post. Having read the replies from Shark and also the furtherings of his comments I find myself very confused. To deny the elusive nature of professional crime is to ignore an unnavoidable curiosity. This isnt a thread is not passing judgement or advocating anything in particular, its merely a venture into the depths of something that is an essential counter-cultural idea. To say that this isnt an interesting subject would be to submit to the close-mindedness a mentality tainted by order, and structure. Being that the forums are updated, expect the first volume to continue as promised tommorow.

[Shark]

The subject matter in theory is not uninteresting. Once applied, however, becomes a criminal act.

Just like some may find a descriptive narration of getting away with murder fascinating. Although, applied, e.g. Simpson's "If I did it...", becomes a complete abomination and utterly disgusting.

My gripe with your post is that by disclosing details of how to 'successfully' steal, you are encouraging criminal behavior and, furthermore, arming the mostly adolescent minds of this board with information they may possibly view as conducive to them getting away with burglary.

But since greed > knowledge, I expect you all to carry on per usual.

[minya]

While I'm impressed at the time and effort you spent going into great detail to the hows and whens of shoplifting, posting this thread on a public forum is a bad idea.