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Freezers, Febreeze, and Pure Ayre: Exploits in denim defunking


ac_slater

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First of all, before the inevitable torrent of "omg just wash your jeans if they smell that bad" comments, let me say this. My jeans never really get to the point of smelling awful. Let me explain.

I am a pretty sweaty guy. So my denim starts to have a scent to it after 1 month or so. This smell is pretty faint and is hard to detect unless you literally sniff the surface of the denim. It's also not the worst smell in the world either, but it is there. Fortunately this scent never gets to the point that anyone besides myself can smell it. You have to be either 6 inches away/wearing them to even get a hint of it.

Still, I hate having smells emanating from my jeans, even if it's undetectable to anyone but myself. So for the last couple of years I have experimented with everything I can get my hands on. These are my findings.

The Freezer

Old faithful. I hear this one all the time. Usually the common practice is to stick them in a plastic bag once a month and give them a 24 hour plunge into the arctic depths. I have probably done this 5 or 6 times to 3 different pairs. And honestly, I'm not a fan. First of all, this does work, but after 12 hours of wear, most smells will come back just as badly as before. Don't ask me why. But they do. Maybe it's just me. The other very BIG problem with this method is that it literally wets your jeans. For those of you who are paranoid about not letting your denim get wet until wash day, stay away from the freezer. My jeans were more wet after coming out of the freezer than the day I got caught running in a rain storm for 5 minutes. They collect a lot of moisture in there and it adds up. So for the most part, I rate the freezer as a terrible option.

Febreeze

There are different types of febreeze and I have tried a few different ones, but mostly I just use the regular fresh scent with odor fighter or whatever. Nothing fancy. I'm not sure if febreeze actually dissolves or nullifies any of the odor, but it sure does cover it up...for a while at least. There are some days in the winter when the dry air really makes some smells stronger. Usually a shot of febreeze will get you 2 days of nice smelling jeans. I'm fairly sure it just covers up whatever odor is there and replaces it with whatever fresh tastic odor is in the spray. This is why I like the more unscented style febreeze rather than say...tropical peach. I don't recommend using this a lot, but it does work if you really need it.

Pure Ayre

I had high hopes for this product. I'd heard such great things. I bought a sizable large bottle, confident that this would end my search. I sprayed it into the crotch area where most of my smells are dominant. The first thing I can say about pure ayre is that it smells pretty crappy. It's not awful but it isn't a good smell either. It kind of lingers too. Honestly, this would be okay if it replaced my old smell with its tolerable smell, but that isn't the case. Pure Ayre really doesn't do anything much. Once it dries, the smell usually just comes back worse than before. I don't think this product was designed in any way for use on clothes. I may try it again in the future but my first two tries with it were so awful that I gave up. If you have one specific area which has an awful stain that just stinks, this might do the trick. It think it's designed for abysmally gross smells. Not average funk.

So if none of those work that well then what does work?

Hang them up outside. Airing the smell out works every time. The problem with all three of the methods above is that they skirt around the real issue. The freezer just kills bacteria, which will come back in a few hours. Febreeze and pure ayre don't penetrate through the fabric, so they just wipe out what's on the surface and then what's underneath rises up to form new smell. The only way to possibly get the smell out is to penetrate the whole fabric, and wind does this surprisingly well.

This may not work for everyone. You may have smells coming from different causes. But for the day to day funk of wearing jeans, this is my findings. Hopefully it can be of use.

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They don't have to smell like shit for you to wash your jeans. If you find that you don't like the smell coming from them, just wash them. When people say "omg just your jeans if they smell that bad" what they mean is if you're not comfortable with the smell coming from them, then it's time to wash.

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Chances are, if your jeans smell really bad, you've already been wearing them a while and it's time to wash them.

The only method that actually works is sunlight exposure. Sunlight actually kills some types of bacteria. Hang them up or lay them on the ground inside out on a dry, sunny day. That might actually help. The freezer thing is the stupidest idea I've ever heard and I'm amazed anyone is still trying it after it's been so thoroughly debunked.

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Anyone who acknowledges that an item of their clothing smells unpleasant, without it being f*cling obvious what they should do is mental.

Ffs if crabs gave great fades it would be a dilemma for some people.

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I was my jeans twice a month. Who the fuck cares? Just wash your clothes when they stink. It's called bacteria, that's feeding off you dead skin cells and sweat. The funk is the waste product of the bacteria. Besides, you're creating a great breeding ground for mold. Any grown ass adult knows this and does their laundry regularly.

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Pure Ayre

I had high hopes for this product. I'd heard such great things. I bought a sizable large bottle, confident that this would end my search. I sprayed it into the crotch area where most of my smells are dominant.

so they stink like ball sweat or dirty asshole, and yet you refuse to wash them. you dirty little pig. i bet you smell worse to others than you realize.

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hmmm....quite a lot to address here...lemme see...

1) I believe you that you don't think your jeans smell but did you know that humans have a built-in system to destroy particle-receptor complexes in our olfactory nerves after a while. We may have developed this to ensure that we're always ready to smell new odors. Regardless, after just a short while, odors that are still in our presence become unnoticeable. You may not smell anything but if it's gotten to a point where you're asking this question on the board, it may be worse than you think. Also, the power of social graces is amazing -- in my 4 years of med school we tolerated a classmate who *stunk* for 2 and half years before we started doing clinical rotations and a blunt surgeon told him he smelled. Two and a half years!! Your coworkers may not be saying anything but you never know.

2) That said, the only real way to address this problem is to kill the bacteria with heat and/or dryness. I've always been dubious of that freezing technique because freezing doesn't necessary kill bacteria. Remember that we put food in the freezer and fridge only to retard bacteria growth. Eventually food still goes bad in the fridge. From a purely speculative thinking, I would imagine the only way to kill bacteria without washing is to put it in the dryer at high temperatures.

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