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I am getting a coffee right now at starbucks

Wilkes

By Wilkes
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Wilkes

Wilkes

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and a tall, beautiful white girl in a purple trench just walked over to me with a big smile on her face and asked "are you Evan?"

I told her I wasn't because I wasn't.

I think she's meeting some clown for a blind date.

she was smiling at me for 10 minutes before. now she's embarrassed and looking away.

pff.

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Guest my uncle

Guest my uncle

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if evan doesnt show up and homegirl looks bummed and like she is about to leave you should swoop in and make it your date.

do it. girls like that shit. i'd like that shit.

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Wilkes

Wilkes

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ohhhhh shit she just called him.

"oh... I thought we were meeting at 3..."

"But didn't I talk to you last night... oh..."

he sounds like he is explaining why his alcoholic, philandering ass doesn't remember talking to her last night.

god.

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Wilkes

Wilkes

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if evan doesnt show up and homegirl looks bummed and like she is about to leave you should swoop in and make it your date.

do it. girls like that shit. i'd like that shit.

I'm seeing someone.

But yeah I would cheat on her so.

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Wilkes

Wilkes

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Erg. Fuck, so juvenile. The macho shit on this board sometimes blows me away.

hey, I've only been seeing her for a month, she punches me hard in the face once a week, threatens to call her ex when I piss her off, and makes out with at least two different girls every time we go to the bar. and I'm 23.

I'm not macho I'm entitled.

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Guest my uncle

Guest my uncle

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swoop it up!

buy her an iced tall caramel macchiato. girls love iced caramel macchiatos. alternatively, if she orders a frappuccino, evacuate the premises.

i got fired from starbucks cause of an upside down caramel macchiato. i was drunk and dude wanted extra caramel. i was like alright, man. apparently it wasnt enough so he was like CAN I HAVE SOME MORE?.

i said 'put ur own fucking caramel on it' and threw the bottle at him. lol

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Guest my uncle

Guest my uncle

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hey, I've only been seeing her for a month, she punches me hard in the face once a week, threatens to call her ex when I piss her off, and makes out with at least two different girls every time we go to the bar. and I'm 23.

I'm not macho I'm entitled.

wtf. why are you letting some broad punch you in the face?

i just recently got dumped that i was seeing for 3 months. we never got into one argument. he dumped me cause i was too nice and he was starting to like me too much. and he's 30 and afraid of commitment.

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enojy

enojy

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i love working at starbucks so much. just about everyone i work with is awesome, and if i'm having a bad day, i just give decaf shots to everyone. but yeah, the nonstop caramel frappuccinos with extra caramel is a bummer. frappuccinos are fucking gross. order something else.

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gramps

gramps

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hey, I've only been seeing her for a month, she punches me hard in the face once a week, threatens to call her ex when I piss her off, and makes out with at least two different girls every time we go to the bar. and I'm 23.

I'm not macho I'm entitled.

Then break up with her you wiener. I'm 21 and I'm already over putting up with that horseshit.

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Guest my uncle

Guest my uncle

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No one means this when they say it. It's sort of like "you're so mature for your age!"

Edit: I'm caustic this afternoon.

no he meant it. i really am nauseatingly nice.

even my friend drew said i am so agreeable that it almost makes me disagreeable. and then he simulated choking me.

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Wilkes

Wilkes

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wtf. why are you letting some broad punch you in the face?

i just recently got dumped that i was seeing for 3 months. we never got into one argument. he dumped me cause i was too nice and he was starting to like me too much. and he's 30 and afraid of commitment.

I mean, she doesn't really connect most of the time. she just loses it when she drinks.

and that was cool for a while, but the novelty is wearing thin.

that's lousy about your 30 year old. it's hard to find someone under 40, attractive and the least big interesting to stay put for more than 6 months.

evan is doing a lot of communicating with his hands and his eyebrows. his haircut makes him look like a labrador. loser.

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Guest my uncle

Guest my uncle

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I mean, she doesn't really connect most of the time. she just loses it when she drinks.

and that was cool for a while, but the novelty is wearing thin.

that's lousy about your 30 year old. it's hard to find someone under 40, attractive and the least big interesting to stay put for more than 6 months.

evan is doing a lot of communicating with his hands and his eyebrows. his haircut makes him look like a labrador. loser.

:[

i hate my life.

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