super long distance? yay or nay

[dismalfuture]

white guys

touche...

but on the real, I think spaceman already answered his own question in his edit, nails are already in the coffin on this chick.

On the other hand, LDR's aren't inherently more doomed to fail than a regular relationship either, and everybody has some sort of LDR at some point or another, so why not try it out and see? All you got to lose is something you're thinking of throwing away at the outset anyhow.

I'm not saying that spaceman's chick is his ideal match and that if he gives her up it's gonna be tears for years, but when it comes to love, and if you're putting in an honest effort and are in it for the right reasons, there's certain mistakes you make and you learn to not fuck up the second time around, and then there are those things that you just can't learn to do better no matter how many times you do them. LDRs kind of fall into the latter, in my opinion. Just girl by girl, case by case. You do learn by doing, though....

For me, I am a pretty calm person most of the time in real life, and I probably appear to look like i pay attention to only what I want to pay attention to, and I'm not particularly friendly looking. I am not FTB2-level cold, but back when I was younger I always thought of myself as a hard sell... enough so that if I did find a girl I liked, I'd get through my pitch out of necessity, but when we'd be out that first time, I'd be nervous and second guessing myself if a girl wasn't completely gushing between the legs, and worried I wouldn't even get to a second date... what I didn't realize at the time is that while I'm not one of those supernaturally magnetic guys, I do unintentionally make them fall in love with me within the first date, which has only been to my detriment and relates back to LDR's like this:

I hate to break up, or at least be the breaker upper. So I just don't do it. I also move around a lot; the longest I have lived in the same place is like 3 years so far, and more normally I usually top out at 9-12 months for one place. I have had citizenship to 3 different countries, basically I'm here today, gone tomorrow, it's a pattern of my life and I don't know if that will change either.

Put those two things about me together, and basically what it leads to, is lots of open-ended question marks with girls whom I've liked at some point on one of my whims, taken out, they've become obsessed with me and assume we're going to life it, but little do they know what heartbreak lies ahead... I'm usually over girls in 2 weeks but am too pussy to put my foot down and break up with them because I hate seeing tears fall, and I am also usually back on the plane soon enough as well, so I just skip out.... I entertain the idea of LDR's quite often and agree to them (with my doubts though), but inside I usually am talking like spacemanvt and have already made my mind up about things by the time my plane lands. Girls wait... and wait... and then give up on me and hate me, but hate me only because I'm not coming back to them... and so some continue to hate me years later, and some get over it. Most girls hate me though.

To this day, I still have a few girls on my MSN Messenger whom I haven't seen face to face in years, who freely talk to me and ask me if I'm ever coming back. That kinda scares me and I don't have any interest in them, expiration dates were long since passed, but at the same time I think it's kind of fascinating. I guess there is no real end unless you purposely make things end and make the active effort to cut people off.

This one girl, things were just right from the beginning when we laid eyes on each other, and we went at it nonstop for 6 months. It was like this deep hunger where we were gorging ourselves on each other every moment of that 6 months, never stopping to rest or even take time out to argue with each other. Then unfortunately, I had to go home. I figured that me leaving was enough to wreck the dynamic and that I shouldn't have banked on the LDR and gave up on it in my mind pretty early on.

That girl though, she really was a trooper and put in the effort, and I could not recognize it at all, which is my life's biggest regret to this day. Our deal was 12,000 miles of separation and 9 months, but beginning from the time I left, she sent me a letter everyday, had her plane tickets bought to come visit me, just this amazing effort that I took for granted at the time. I will probably never have anything like that again, though I can recognize it now. The 22 year me viewed it as being 'oh, I had everything and now I have nothing, so I will treat it that way' when in reality I couldn't appreciate existence in its other forms. In the end, lots of random unfortunate things came into play and it was all over pretty soon after it started, she didn't even get to visit, but once she was gone, I started realizing and hurting pretty bad. Dropped my first adult tears on that one.

After the fact, they still come and go as easily as they did before that girl, but now that I have seen the way that girl put in the effort in the LDR, I think you don't have to view LDRs as inevitable failure, and now that I know what the real deal is, I'd be willing to hang on, if it was the right ride...

[sybaritical]

Do not attempt this.

Stay friends with the girl by all means possible, but live in the moment, not another time zone.

[Fuuma]

i just got this... it's latin for 'love concquers all'

keep your eyes open and your ear to the ground dun.

Bonum vinum laetificat cor hominis!!

[the Repeater]

Where you kids live anyway?

Sounds like a waste of time. You can keep looking regardless.

[jetlenoir]

This won't work. Let her go. Please don't keep her on the line when you know you want to fuck other people. If she's crazy about you then she probably treats you right. Treat her right and let her go.

[Fuuma]

Fuuma, the tracking # is 1Z056475899 , but it's wet and there's some tip-nibbling in there though so be careful opening it. Don't use a knife.

I'll make sure to tenderly caress the bag and coo sweet nothings in its ear before opening it with finesse. Can I expect some swallowing?

[skistar]

nudes, then post in superfap, then breakup

Fixed.

But seriously, mine lasted two years till I found out the dumb bitch was cheating on me the whole time. Now I'm not a strong believer... Plus it seems like your ready for new fun in your new city so let her go before you leave, if you're reunited youll know it was suppose to be.

[Charlie Delta]

...if you're reunited youll know it was suppose to be.

This is true.

[Disillusioned]

if you don't like her as much as she likes you, you are actually being more "selfish" than if you let her free to find someone who is as "into" her as she is them. does that make any sense? if you feel prone to wander, you'd be doing her a bigger favor in the long run by letting her go now; otherwise if you cheat later and break her heart, drama may ensue.

[DüM]

I'll make sure to tenderly caress the bag and coo sweet nothings in its ear before opening it with finesse. Can I expect some swallowing?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I put some in there, there's also a little buttplay but it's in it's own bubble wrap.

[spacemanvt]

tell you the truth, i dont really know how i feel about her. one minute i long to see her all the time every minute of the day and want to move back to the city from where i left her , the next I am excited about living in this new place and trying out new stuff. not necessarily new chicks but i guess that too.

anyways we are going to be seeing each other pretty often in the near future. so i figure i will see how it goes.

the last thing i would ever want to do is hurt her. i do care about her alot and that would be horrible.

note: i was very very distraught leaving her when i finally did have to leave. perhaps that means something.

btw stop neg repping me for this thread. assholes.

[homi29]

dismalfuture i love how your off-topic rants drop so many life-lesson nuggets along the way

[spacemanvt]

dismalfuture i love how your off-topic rants drop so many life-lesson nuggets along the way

at first he was making sense. i lost it about half way through. good read tho.

[lestat]

its not gonna work out... you 2 been goin out for a month and a half, why struggle to make shit work? you're just gonna deny yourself of pussy

[spacemanvt]

update: she broke up with me 2 weeks ago for bullshit reasons. i was heartbroken and depressed for awhile (badly).

i got email from her a few days ago sort of saying it was all my fault we broke up but if i ever move back, she'd love to try again. ??????

bitch

[lestat]

^ shes riding/rode on someone else's cock.

[jpgm]

my girl is moving to sydney in august....

obviously, im pretty upset about the situation....we've been together 8 1/2 years, but a job opportunity came up that she simply couldnt turn down. im confident we'll make it work though...i will be tres busy with uni/work/band commitments next semester, and we will be able to see eachother at least once between august and december. its going to be a challenege, but i think we'll get through it. we've been together too long for something like this to mess us up....fidelity isnt going to be a problem.

not looking forward to her going though.....thankfully we have a month in the uk, italy and croatia coming up before she leaves.

[spacemanvt]

^ shes riding/rode on someone else's cock.

she told me it wasnt someone else but who the fuck knows. that actually hurts to hear though. ouch.

[JL77]

I've been in a LDR for 2 years. It sucks at times, but it's actually easier in some ways than a normal relationship. Because you don't see each other as much, you don't fight or get annoyed of the person as easily. It's not easy, but it's not impossible.

[spacemanvt]

^ hope it works out for both of you guys. really try to be communicative about your feelings and doubts though. thats most important

[JL77]

She's actually moving down in about a month and will be 30-40 minutes away. That's a whole other issue now, going from an LDR to a regular relationship. It'll be interesting to see how the new dynamic affects our relationship.

[Tyro1]

I speant 10 months away from my girlfriend, while I was traveling...

I wouldnt reccommend it if you are uncertain on anything in the relationship, but it worked fine for us and we are living together now.