Can't breathe, help!

[fg0d]

I know it's stupid coming to you guys for help on this, but this is really bothering me. For a few years now, I haven't been able to breathe from my nose properly. Sometimes I can breathe through one, left or right, or neither. I dont know if I snore or not. This happens no matter what season it is, and I dont have any (known) allergies. I've had two fiber optics and a sleep study when I was younger and the doctors never followed up. Some said my tonsils were abnormally large, and some said they were normal. Sprays, tabs, none of that worked. I read about deviated septums today, and it sounds like it may be that. Can anyone give some insight? Is it true that the organs don't get air if you're not breathing through your nose as you sleep?

ps: lets be serious, i dont have any dicks stuck in my nose.

[broneck]

maybe you have a dick stuck in your nose

[fg0d]

i didnt think of that, thanks.

[mellowbonsai]

are there dicks in your nose [y/n]?

[maydenchina]

one of my coworkers had a problem like this, he got some kind of surgery that opened up the passageway or something, i dont remember the details

but he said it feels weird being able to breathe normally now

[cuddlysheep]

i mean the fuck we really know..go see your doctor man.

[fg0d]

its called a deviated septum, i kind of want the surgery, because i could get a rhinoplasty at the same time. my nose is too wide, makes me look asian or black.

[jackierose]

definitely deviated septum. the most commonly used 'excuse' to make rhinoplasty sound legit.

[xcoldricex]

its called a deviated septum, i kind of want the surgery, because i could get a rhinoplasty at the same time. my nose is too wide, makes me look asian or black.

yes, get rhinoplasty STAT.... you don't want to be mistaken for one of those races!

[projectdenim]

The best solution for deviated septum is to go to the dentist (yes!) and shove that suction tube gadget into your nostril until the dick is vacuum'd out.

[fg0d]

its called a deviated septum, i kind of want the surgery, because i could get a rhinoplasty at the same time. my nose is too wide, makes me look asian or black.

yeah, thats also how you get insurance to pay for it.

yes, get rhinoplasty STAT.... you don't want to be mistaken for one of those races!

fuck no!

[mellowbonsai]

make sure to take before/after pictures of the rhinoplasty so we can finally see what you look like without the dicks in your nose

[kiya]

[mellowbonsai]

[noparse][/noparse]

[Ahlvahroe]

[MiniW]

^^ yep this is gonna be the first and last time anyone asks for medical advice on sufu

[hellogoodbye]

i can't breathe properly too, all the time. the bone going down the middle of my chest (right between my nipples) hurts like a bitch 24/7. but heart/lung tests come back normal. waht the fuck? any doctorz? give me online diagnosis plz?

fg0d, it sounds like u hav a dick stuck up your nose.

[macuser3of5]

I would guess your organs are still getting air, since you are still alive and all. The only way to really tell if you have a deviated septum or not is to see a doctor.

Alternatively, have you considered the possibility that you have dicks stuck in your nose?

[wild_whiskey]

i can't breathe properly too, all the time. the bone going down the middle of my chest (right between my nipples) hurts like a bitch 24/7. but heart/lung tests come back normal. waht the fuck? any doctorz? give me online diagnosis plz?

fg0d, it sounds like u hav a dick stuck up your nose.

costochondritis?

[xcoldricex]

i can't breathe properly too, all the time. the bone going down the middle of my chest (right between my nipples) hurts like a bitch 24/7.

sounds like you have a dick stuck between your nipples.

[hellogoodbye]

wow, thanks wild whiskey, i just looked it up on the net, and it sounds exactly like what i'm experiencing. all the doctors i saw either said i was just 'stressed' or 'anxious'. fuck them.

edit- coldrice, that was my initial suspicion, but xrays turned up negative.

[red]

hello. you display symptoms of having a dick stuck up your nose.

[the_state]

mad jewish chicks at my high school had deviated sceptums and miraculously ended up with smaller noses post-surgery.

[hellogoodbye]

thats because they extract the penis that's stuck up their nose

[///mzeasy]

sounds like you have a dick stuck between your nipples.

he just needs the pearls then it's gone, right?

[turcy.]

well, lucky for you fg0d, i'm home for the holidays and my father is a doctor, upon consultation he told me to tell you the following:

"the nostril is not a sexual orifice"

[fndmybetterhalf]

alternatively, maybe you should try sticking a dick up your nose and it'l clear it right up. you never know...

[travisio]

^that doesn't work.

i don't wanna talk about it.

[mellowbonsai]

wow, thanks wild whiskey, i just looked it up on the net, and it sounds exactly like what i'm experiencing. all the doctors i saw either said i was just 'stressed' or 'anxious'. fuck them.

edit- coldrice, that was my initial suspicion, but xrays turned up negative.

wild whiskey saves the day once again

can we rename this the medical advice threak?

[nairb49]

sounds like you have a dick stuck between your nipples.

weird, we JUST went over that in a clinical session before xmas holidays.