Post some "Next level" shit.

[Guest jmatsu]

the photo shopping isn't next level at all, nor is the joke.

what's really fuckin funny is that this could be you, famous. were you aryan that is...

[jeepster]

the photo shopping isn't next level at all, nor is the joke.

what's really fuckin funny is that this could be you, famous. were you aryan that is...

italians are considered pseudo-semite descent. c'mon jmat, if you're gonna hate, get your eugenics right!

[Guest jmatsu]

italians are considered pseudo-semite descent. c'mon jmat, if you're gonna hate, get your eugenics right!

true, but semite and even moorish blood have nothing to do with asian mongrel-bastard blood or pacific aboriginies...

the italians were considered white, ate least in ww2..

[jeepster]

true, but semite and even moorish blood have nothing to do with asian mongrel-bastard blood or pacific aboriginies...

the italians were considered white, ate least in ww2..

well obviously, but if you wanna be like the dudes in the above picture, you need to conform to these standards:

1. of italian or greek ancestry

2. live in NJ, westchester NY, long island NY, fairfield county CT (where i live), or any other suburb of NYC

3. parents have an average income of ~$250,000 and drive leased mercedes benz's and bmw's

4. have an occasional coke habit

5. think that hard liquor contains some nutrional value (that falls under "party carbs")

6. listen to Young Jeezy and lame one-off rap songs (i.e. "crank that") and use the word "nigga" as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, and pronoun

7. move to LA and get become a club-promoter who sells weed on the side so he can afford nice hair product (the stuff made out of the semen of albino elephants, its the best)

8. try to release a rap mixtape, at least once, if not twice

9. drive a supped-up volvo, but take all the volvo tags off and drop it so it looks like a fucked-up benz

10. have a 3" penis and exclusively "hollar" at "bitches" because "bitches love mah shit"

something like that.

EDIT:

11. get a tribal tattoo while drunk with your "boiz"

[Guest jmatsu]

well obviously, but if you wanna be like the dudes in the above picture, you need to conform to these standards:

1. of italian or greek ancestry

2. live in NJ, westchester NY, long island NY, fairfield county CT (where i live), or any other suburb of NYC

3. parents have an average income of ~$250,000 and drive leased mercedes benz's and bmw's

4. have an occasional coke habit

5. think that hard liquor contains some nutrional value (that falls under "party carbs")

6. listen to Young Jeezy and lame one-off rap songs (i.e. "crank that") and use the word "nigga" as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, preposition, and pronoun

7. move to LA and get become a club-promoter who sells weed on the side so he can afford nice hair product (the stuff made out of the semen of albino elephants, its the best)

8. try to release a rap mixtape, at least once, if not twice

9. drive a supped-up volvo, but take all the volvo tags off and drop it so it looks like a fucked-up benz

10. have a 3" penis and exclusively "hollar" at "bitches" because "bitches love mah shit"

something like that.

EDIT:

11. get a tribal tattoo while drunk with your "boiz"

just for arugment's sake, do you acknowledge the existence of asian bro's/guidos?

[jeepster]

just for arugment's sake, do you acknowledge the existence of asian bro's/guidos?

i acknowledge asian bros, but not guidos. guidos are a category that only adheres to those of mediterranean descent.

[Guest jmatsu]

i acknowledge asian bros, but not guidos. guidos are a category that only adheres to those of mediterranean descent.

you know what i mean. imagery/vibe not technical ethnic decent! thus i had said if he were aryan (because greeks/italians were considered aryan a long time ago, and to some degree still are depending if family blood lines haven't been tainted)...

[jeepster]

you know what i mean. imagery/vibe not technical ethnic decent! thus i had said if he were aryan (because greeks/italians were considered aryan a long time ago, and to some degree still are depending if family blood lines haven't been tainted)...

for arguments sake, i guess so. i still can't wrap my mind around how they can do their hair like that. it defies the laws of gravity..

[broneck]

i dont play video game much.

whenever a new HL comes out i play it, then im done until i feel compelled to play it again.

BY THE WAYZ

QpdCi5XpCsE

tell me you've seen this shit

[acidline]

INtffPJNblI

French beatboxer

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DsNFxOOnjgw

I will never understand how one may create that many sounds at once.

[Handlethevibe]

iaMcQ-FWstc

[Egpt]

BY THE WAYZ

QpdCi5XpCsE

tell me you've seen this shit

wow...i don't even play videogames anymore, last one i played was HL2 and i finished it in 4 days and that was it, but this is just mind blowing...

when is this coming out?

[ouss]

Next level Craiglist (via Dealbreaker.com)

The Question

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my

feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The answer

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

CLASSIC

HAHA SHE GOT OWNED AND JUST CANT TAKE THE L

(still via Dealbreaker.com)

Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email. Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed" success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled. If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St. have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking - especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation. Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of "outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St. job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine, I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me, the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course) and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market inefficiency.

FUCK YOU GOLDDIGGIN BITCH!

[wEstSidE]

hahahah iwas thinkin 2 myself...if she wanted 2 she cud get plastik surgeriez then she wud increase her present value at least 4 short term, mayb enuff 2 actually get wat she thnks she deserve...

[wEstSidE]

kkk i been thnkin about it n the answer iz dat she aint as good lookin as she thnk she iz.

she b tryin 2 claim basicallyl regardless of watevr argument she try 2 mak tht the makeret b opertain ineficiently in her case...is possible but new york city is pretty efficient market if she really on dat lvl niggaz wud b jumpin all over a bitch feelme???

[thomas_highstreet]

yo this one time i hussled this cleaner bitch to buy me a nintendo DS!!!

does that mean in 3years ill need plastic surgeries? phallus reduction?

[wEstSidE]

i dun evn kno wat ur tryin 2 say.

[oOmegaOo]

Does anyone ever look good after plastic surgery?

[wEstSidE]

yes but it b only wit vry well dun n mnml plastix surgery

u aint c dat much tho cuz dese star niggaz go crazzy wit it. heidi off da hillz got it n she look pretty good wit it.

problem iz ovr time (as effects of agin) plastic surgeriez can look bad. REEL BAD.

[thomas_highstreet]

[oOmegaOo]

Nice implants.

[wEstSidE]

also a problem b dat u aint kno who b gettin it. a lot of da time u dunno n thts wen sum1 did a good job.

only time u kno is wen sum1 did bad job.

[djrajio]

kkk i been thnkin about it n the answer iz dat she aint as good lookin as she thnk she iz.

she b tryin 2 claim basicallyl regardless of watevr argument she try 2 mak tht the makeret b opertain ineficiently in her case...is possible but new york city is pretty efficient market if she really on dat lvl niggaz wud b jumpin all over a bitch feelme???

Yeah, NYC is probably the most efficient if not the most competitive market. If she were all that, she wouldn't have needed to use craiglist. I'm pretty sure she had help on her response though, the wording and rhetoric is very different than her original e-mail. But man, 500K is nothing nowadays. She was aiming too low in my opinion. Investment banking is chump-change now. If she really was al that, she would be up all on Private Equity and Hedge fund sugar daddys.

[FAM0US.]

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/991e/?cpg=cj

Here at ThinkGeek we're pretty lazy when it comes to technology. We expect our gadgets to do all the busywork while we focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That's why we hate to have to crack open our laptops just to see if there is any wi-fi internet access about... and keychain wi-fi detectors, we would have to actually remove them from our pockets to look at them. But now thanks to the ingenious ThinkGeek robot monkeys you can display the current wi-fi signal strength to yourself and everyone around you with this stylish Wi-Fi Detector Shirt. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding wi-fi signal strength fluctuates. Finally you can get the attention you deserve as others bow to you as their reverential wi-fi god, while geeky chicks swoon at your presence. You can thank us later.

[wEstSidE]

Yeah, NYC is probably the most efficient if not the most competitive market. If she were all that, she wouldn't have needed to use craiglist. I'm pretty sure she had help on her response though, the wording and rhetoric is very different than her original e-mail. But man, 500K is nothing nowadays. She was aiming too low in my opinion. Investment banking is chump-change now. If she really was al that, she would be up all on Private Equity and Hedge fund sugar daddys.

hedge fund doesnt seem 2 b all it r craak up 2 b tho.

but ya a nigga b bullshitin feelme?? i aint evn thnk she rite dat i thnk sum nigga hak her account n start jockin on dese foolz.

[diewhitegirls]

Yeah, NYC is probably the most efficient if not the most competitive market. If she were all that, she wouldn't have needed to use craiglist. I'm pretty sure she had help on her response though, the wording and rhetoric is very different than her original e-mail. But man, 500K is nothing nowadays. She was aiming too low in my opinion. Investment banking is chump-change now. If she really was al that, she would be up all on Private Equity and Hedge fund sugar daddys.

Is NYC really an example of an efficient market? The massive amount of corruption from the financial district basically destroys the entire point and purpose of an efficient market.

Keep in mind, I'm not a financier by any means, so I'm more than willing to be wrong, but my understanding of the efficient market hypothesis involves honest people.

[Icicle Cubicle]

FUUUUUUCK!

6Jfcpa_x4Lg

[diewhitegirls]

^^^^^^^^^ Wow.

[Halifamous]

dVQgkQoG4Rw

Get the fuck out ma WAY.

[onemancult]

YADIDAMEAN?