I Got Gay-Bashed In Florida & All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.

[onemancult]

so i'm walking down the street during the middle of the day on july 4th and

i hear some guffaws coming from an earth-raping behemoth of a truck that

sound remarkably pointed in my direction. it was as if the sharp points of the

right-most side of each "hyuk, hyuk, hyuk" was aimed directly at my back.

surely enough, i take notice of the backseat of said truck, where a group

of certifiably red-necked teenagers is giving me the finger. one of them was

wearing a confederate flag tee shirt with an american flag hat, so i knew i

was in for a good time.

they pulled away, and ended up hitting traffic.

my girlfriend begged me not to, but i had to...

i walked right over to the side of their car, ready

for action.

long story short, some fucking hicks now have a dented-as-fuck car door,

and i learned that nothing is scarier to floridians than an angry new yorker

bashing his knee into the side of their prized pickup.

...so, what's been going on here?

[mr fluffernutter]

did your girl take a video???

[schmoses]

welcome to my daily living in chicago, mr cult. it's a goddamned headache.

[cuddlysheep]

aint shit,just the typical rants about clothes.the haves and have nots.seems like you had more excitement than whats been going in sufu for past few days.

[evisu 2000]

fuck florida.

[un-]

*is going to Florida in August*

[doctorgnar]

So, what's the t-shirt look like?

[buffalocloud7]

you travel outside ny and it all falls to shit save for a few cities here and there. nice reaction!

[DJ2xTech]

How's your knee?

[mizanation]

damn, omc, that was pretty gangsta.

[Guest Airjamie]

I think its time for a "What Were You Wearing WhenYou Got Gay-bashed in Florida Today?"

[Crillz]

How's the cut of the shirt? Quality?

[aziz]

damn, omc, that was pretty gangsta.

Gangsta gangsta.

Florida sucks, besides the hoez you can pick up. Word to bangbus

[rome1]

OMC now thats whats up, fuck redneck hillbillies in pickups! I can just picture you kicking tha shit outta their car and they all like cowering to tha side ...thinking how crazy you are.

[mike lowrey]

I would say that this was what we in basketball terms like to call a "homerun".

supergully.

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

I'm drunk at the company pig roast in red hook BK. This fucker has been used every which way. Sausages, fried giblets, porkchops

[Guest Airjamie]

I'm drunk at the company pig roast in red hook BK. This fucker has been used every which way. Sausages, fried giblets, porkchops

You work at fubu?

[broneck]

did you talk like a hard as fuck new yorker? did you sound like joe pesci?

"what you laughin at, you think i'm funny? like a clown? you think i'm here to amuse and entatain you? what tha fuck you laughin at?!"

etc etc

[junglejane]

OMC can I hire you as a bodyguard

[fg0d]

So, what's the t-shirt look like?

Tell us more about this t-shirt.

[Ahlvahroe]

how do you know you were getting gay bashed? how are you not sure that they were preventing more of you mexicans (you said you are latino right?) from hopping the border.

[datasupa]

how do you know you were getting gay bashed? how are you not sure that they were preventing more of you mexicans (you said you are latino right?) from hopping the border.

the first clue might have been the fact that 'hopping the border' between florida and mexico would entail swimming across 500 miles of gulf water

[lowrider]

long story short, some fucking hicks now have a dented-as-fuck car door,

and i learned that nothing is scarier to floridians than an angry new yorker

bashing his knee into the side of their prized pickup.

...so, what's been going on here?

Why did you use your knee to dent their truck? Wouldn't it have been more fun to hit them instead? Flesh is softer than metal...

[onemancult]

just to answer some Qs, now that i am actually home and unpacked-

they rolled up their windows and i thought it better to bust up their truck than

try to smash their windows.

i was wearing a friggin' red uniqlo tee, denim shorts, and white plimsolls. nothing

was tight or too short on me.... essentially, i looked about as un-gay as possible.

not to mention i was walking hand in hand with my girlfriend.

who, by the way, hid in the lobby of the wyndham resort on the corner of the block

where the incident took place. she is afraid of my rage. that, and didnt want to get

pegged if i had gotten arrested.

the shirt is made from virgin cotton and features an asymettrical body with french seams. it is very Attachment-ish. is Attachment still cool here? being gone for a week

is strange.

[evisu 2000]

didn't he make the shorts himself? i believe the general sufu opinion on length was mid-thigh... hopefully he adhered to that advice and didn't lose any indigo.

[onemancult]

hahah the shorts actually hit at the very top of my knee. there was very little

denim to steel contact.

maybe my slender, feminine legs made them angry? but my broad upper body

should have countered that. i still don't understand what set them off.

[wEstSidE]

this thread is gay...

[onemancult]

do you have a pick-up i can maul?

[wEstSidE]

yes. because i am from virginia. we all drive pick-up trucks.

ford f350 son..it's got SIX wheels

[LIVENUDEGIRLS]

What a bunch of pussies. I would have fist fought you.