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Vincent Gallo appreciation thread.

keagan

By keagan
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Guest doubletap

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i think the only movie I seen him was Truth or Consequences, N.M.

shit flick. why all the hype?

what i'm really into is vincent gallo's contrived nationalist/pseudo-racism in certain interviews and with the whole buy my sperm thing, despite the fact that he is sicilian and has at least 25% african blood in his family tree.

HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! seriously, do people actually believe this?

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dunkin deeznuts

dunkin deeznuts

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A date with VG (women only) $50gs

VG's sperm $1,000,000

Having VG's bastard child, priceless..........

http://www.vgmerchandise.com/store/pages.php?pageid=4

VINCENT GALLO evenings, weekends escort.

$50,000.00

wish, dream or fantasy with VINCENT GALLO, ladies only

Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors? The way they looked or a character they played? Afterwards you thought of them over and over. Daydreaming, imagining things, sexy things. When I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte Rampling. On my 14th birthday I went to see the film Rolling Thunder and had my biggest crush of all on the actress Linda Haynes. I wished and wished and wished everyday that I could meet all these girls. I thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her in Lords of Flatbush. In my mind I could do with her anything I wanted to do. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star. Doing things that couples do. Couples in love. At least couples where the guy is hot and knows how to handle a chick.

I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend that will have them second-guessing.

I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel days are billed at $50,000 per plus all premium flight fees. Scanning for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior. An extra fee for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security fees will vary depending on the details of an encounter and how much security I will need.

Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from The Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels.

This service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.

Vincent Gallo's Sperm

$1,000,000.00

Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child.

This service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.

sperm.jpg

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figfurlong

figfurlong

Posted
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My favorite Galloism is his response to Rogert Ebert's review of Brown Bunny, something along the line of:

"Roger Ebert is a fat pig with the physique of a slave trader".

that's name calling at its finest.

yeah, there is a lot of great back and forth interview material between these two guys. gallo putting a hex on ebert's prostate/colon/whatever. ebert claiming that going through his colonoscopy was more entertaining than watching the brown bunny. i know that ebery eventually went on record by actually praising the film after he's seen a shorter cut of it. i don't know, i find a lot of the time ebert comes off as being a fucking dweeb - but when i think of it he's been pretty on point with a lot of the work he truly admires: cassavetes, herzog, a lot of his pre 80's fav lists, etc.

oh, also at the rriiccee concert: they were selling limited silkscreen poster prints autographed by the band for $100. didn't buy anything, but i thought something like that would be a great piece to have on your wall. that or some cool piece bought from his personal site. autographed motorcycle helmet or something. anybody buy anything from him before?

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jschenkkan

jschenkkan

Posted
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yeah, there is a lot of great back and forth interview material between these two guys. gallo putting a hex on ebert's prostate/colon/whatever. ebert claiming that going through his colonoscopy was more entertaining than watching the brown bunny. i know that ebery eventually went on record by actually praising the film after he's seen a shorter cut of it. i don't know, i find a lot of the time ebert comes off as being a fucking dweeb - but when i think of it he's been pretty on point with a lot of the work he truly admires: cassavetes, herzog, a lot of his pre 80's fav lists, etc.

oh, also at the rriiccee concert: they were selling limited silkscreen poster prints autographed by the band for $100. didn't buy anything, but i thought something like that would be a great piece to have on your wall. that or some cool piece bought from his personal site. autographed motorcycle helmet or something. anybody buy anything from him before?

the best part of the dialogue was after Gallo called him fat, and Ebert responded in a press statement:

"It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny."

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kiya

kiya

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don't know if that's been posted

I heard he's also in a mobile phone ad too?

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doczein

doczein

Posted
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somebody tell me WTF is with vincent gallo:

-on being a hardcore republican/conservative:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=3619704

the book: is America better off under George W. Bush? gallo: I feel very happy that Bush is our president. One way that you can tell we have a good president, is by how much the French dislike him. The more the French hate him, the better he must be. And they hate this one.

http://www.thebookla.com/fw_2001_gallo.html

"The liberals, they like to pay a lot of lip-service to freedom of expression, freedom of speech, the art, the art they'll say--but when there's money involved, when there's the threat of losing contracts, they're the first ones jumping out of the way."

http://filmfreakcentral.net/notes/vgallointerview.htm

...yet he is an idol for bohemians and hipsters the world over.

-on politics and bicycles (in an interview with Transport Alternatives, a bicycle/self-explanatory magazine):

Have you heard of T.A.? Are you a member?

"No. Because you guys don’t put anyone interesting on the cover. I promise you if you put me on the cover and put the magazine around the city, you’ll get 10,000 new members. The magazine has no sex appeal, no impact. That’s the problem with you left-wing commies — you need to come out with a little charisma."

Philosophy:

"I am an extreme right-wing conservative. I’m doing this interview because I like bicycles. I wouldn’t want people to think I’m a socialist."

"I get more packages than anyone I know. No one can carry more boxes on a bike than me. It’s incredible to see."

http://www.transalt.org/features/interviews/gallo.html

-on being against drugs and alcohol:

"Psychedelics, heroin and alcohol awakened sensibilities years ago. Nobody whose art was influenced by drug encounters has created a sensibility or a language that has been important to the development of culture, or the evolution of mankind."

"Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free."

http://www.vgmerchandise.com/store/pages.php?pageid=4

...yet he starts in a advertisement for belvedere, which many of you have already seen.

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