Ultimate Significant Other: Mad Hectic

[seraphim]

additions:

- can (female) ejaculate

- enjoys being finger fucked to tears

- enjoys conversations about zombies

- shaves

I assumed virtually every girl on the face of the planet would match 2, 3 and 4 (if you mean legs, otherwise, probably not). it's just 1 that's tricky. maybe if you got with a porn star?

[notesee]

Mkei's list is pretty much identical to mine.

Which means .. I have to kill him, to get the women of our dreams.

Then I will yell out a viking victory chant, in none other than Johnny Drama steez.

[insidertrading]

I assumed virtually every girl on the face of the planet would match 2, 3 and 4 (if you mean legs, otherwise, probably not)

2. the last bird shot me a really nasty "never do that again" look after said act.

3. i've never been able to have a decent zombie conversation with any female (perhaps i'm going after the wrong ones?)

4. shaves = everything below the neckline

it's just 1 that's tricky. maybe if you got with a porn star?

not necessarily. with the girls i've been with in the past, i'd say i've managed to get half of them to ejaculate (at least once)... perhaps it has more to do with the guy's technique?

[Guest DUM]

Coco, my smile is nice and my mom says im funny. Can we atleast have sex?

[homi29]

here are some of my qualifications

- naturally good looking, not phony / artificially enhanced beauty.. tho my natural inclination to large breasts does make me like fake titties every now and then

- unique, and fresh sense of style that matches her personality. Not a dumb celeb-chaster in other words. US weekly is not a style bible

-fun , social, and a great sense of humor

-open and honest sexually , but not to some weird extreme where she can't get off without an 8 ball of coke, and a gag ball in her mouth

-not generic looking, i have this thing for girls who stand out from the crowd, whether they're mixed race, or just have an edge to them that makes them seem to stand out from an army of clones.. lets be honest in a world of billions of people, a typically "hot" girl isnt hard to find

[evisu 2000]

half of you want female versions of yourselves.

[Crillz]

no backne, please.

[almondcrush]

Mkei's list is pretty much identical to mine.

Which means .. I have to kill him, to get the women of our dreams.

but maybe you two are made for each other

all im saying is you might as well fuck before you murder him on the off-chance you two are soulmates

[notesee]

no backne, please.

This is one of my most despised characteristics. I hate girls with backne.

[Pandemonium]

no girls with moustaches/beards.

wtf is with that?!

[almondcrush]

This is one of my most despised characteristics. I hate girls with backne.

mkei has no backne

hurry and fall in love already

the trash wants superromance

[seraphim]

2. the last bird shot me a really nasty "never do that again" look after said act.

3. i've never been able to have a decent zombie conversation with any female (perhaps i'm going after the wrong ones?)

perhaps it has more to do with the guy's technique?

2. it might be something to do with personal preference. i once knew a girl who actually disliked receiving, as it were. very odd.

3.perhaps you are, i think any chick who is vaguely into horror films etc should be able to hold a conversation on the different types of zombie for at least two hours. probably more if she's stoned.

1. as far as i'm aware, it's probably a mix of the two. in which case this criteria should really be about whether or not she's willing to give it a damn good try.

[almondcrush]

sera do you want that song or not

[seraphim]

ahh, see, from your pm I assumed you were just being crude and making some kind of sexual reference

[zelah]

hey perfect girl

-dress like you listen to only indie made in, or inspired by indie made in the mid 90s

-listen to only indie made in, or inspired by indie made in the mid 90s

-don't drink, don't smoke, don't drive

-be intelligent and well spoken

-call me out constantly

-ride bikes, color coordination matters

i'm adding a few things

-have less body hair than me, i am not hairy but this still shouldn't be an issue

-be down as hell with cats

-don't get mad when i become a competitive asshole if you beat me in a videogame

-play kickball

[cureOne]

angsty internet nerds whine about not getting girls in this thread

[homi29]

arm hair on girls is gross

my asian arms are damn near hairless, so i dont wanna feel her bushy arms rub against my pristine shiny ones

[whitney]

A guy who knows what he wants and actually does something about it

is sweet on the outside but durty behind closed doors

doesn't lie

can color coordinate, for the most part

loves to and does travel and/or go on road trips

likes to cook and cooks delish food

who takes care of himself in every aspect

Is the kind of guy I'd date.

Not necessary but definitely a bonus if he speaks cantonese

[Guest DUM]

I didn't want to be the one to do it, but

TITS OR GTFO

[notesee]

mkei has no backne

hurry and fall in love already

the trash wants superromance

I never noticed this post before. Who is Mkei?

And why does she deserve my time?

[mrip]

i think almond crush just wants some supergay sex

[insomaniac]

if he...

• challenges me intellectually
  
• finds my quirkiness adorable
  
• has great friends and family
  
• has achieved, or in the process of achieving his goals
  
• is cultured
  
• is independent
  
• dark haired, with batting eyelashes
  
• has strong arms with a layer of little fat that make me swoon
  
• has a simple wardrobe
  
• is a great kisser
  
• has an amazing music collection

i would ask him out.

if he...

• is a good boyfriend, friend, and a lover
  
• makes me feel safe and secure
  
• is able to tame my bad personal traits
  
• share the same values in all aspects of life
  
• loves my dog as much as i love her

i would ask him to marry me.

also i lik guys that wear 32 waist denim which is considered obese in SuFu standards, six-packs scare the shit out of me, and i like chest hair. fat and hairy? wtf?

if you find someone like this in your area, please FedEx him to me. thanks.

[wEstSidE]

do u lyk mexican???

2 b honest he dont fit ur descripi

but i need 2 dig him out of my damn backyard i cant b runnin round wit no dead bodiez

[mrip]

hay im wearing size 32 denims right now lawl.

[insomaniac]

westie- i am not into necrophilia, but he might be a good halloween decoration. fedex, please.

mrip- keep up the good work and obtain chest hair.

[totally epic]

if he...

• challenges me intellectually
  
• finds my quirkiness adorable
  
• has great friends and family
  
• has achieved, or in the process of achieving his goals
  
• is cultured
  
• is independent
  
• dark haired, with batting eyelashes
  
• has strong arms with a layer of little fat that make me swoon
  
• has a simple wardrobe
  
• is a great kisser
  
• has an amazing music collection

If you find a guy with these things, and then find out he's into dudes, let me know.

[almondcrush]

swell bump

I never noticed this post before. Who is Mkei?

And why does she deserve my time?

he is your supersoulmate

how could you forget?

i think i am becoming more open minded about dating

ive slimmed my criteria to audacity and one of those smiles

bonus points if shes smarter than i and wanderlustful

double bonus points if shes got a HUGE shangalong

[wEstSidE]

so u iz lookin 4 thai or wat?

i can import u one a dem bitchez but it gon cost u.

[almondcrush]

i heard inuit womens are packin heat

will +rep for eskimo intersexual

p.s. are you really all trash all the time now?

[wEstSidE]

yo man...

i can hook i t up but it gone cost u man

u got mil stax??? cuz dis sum 6 figure shit.

y aint u just get a nice pilipina mail order bride???