Two KKK members are about to kill you

[Magsåvningsreserven 1,750,355]

run them over the with jag?

you only have keys!!

gah!

sometimes i think superfuture doesn't take hypothetical situations seriously..

[Oxy. 511,086]

offer them the cheesecake

use lighter to slowly melt remaining plastic items for distraction

hope for the best

i was gonna say trade them the cheesecake for their guns, and then shoot them. they'd go for it, right?

[Kregg 76,360]

"Like a good neighbor, state farm is there!"

Now its 2 vs 2

[goat 962,038]

throw the jag keys at one of them, instantaneously knocking him out cold.

as the other starts to run away, tie the lighter to the end of the leash and throw it at him ever so perfectly, so that it sparks right under his robe, igniting him. Then retrieve my lighter, cause really, it looks badass.

throw the passed out guy on top of the burning guy, turn the bucket over and sit on it. Then enjoy cheesecake next to a nice KKKamp fire.

[ChaseDizzy 224,887]

use the lighter and heat up the metal end of the leash til it's red

whip my leash back and forth

or

eat the cheesecake

puke in the bucket

and throw puke on them

[rgray 370,935]

run full speed at both of them with pie in right hand and lighter in the left.

pie (cheesecake) dude on the left in the face.. well eyes, assuming they have the pointy cones on their heads that cover their faces..

almost simultaneously, begin apply blunt force trauma from the barrel of the lighter to the temple of the other klan member...

quickly wrap the leash around pie0-face and strangle him whispering some witty phrase about having my way with mary too.

maybe use the bucket to gather tinder to start a big fire to burn the bodies..

[bernt 145,271]

sit on bucket

eat cheesecake

lock my car

light cigarette

take them on a walk

[FranklinCosgrove 1,575,506]

Maybe I'm not the black guy in this hypothetical...

[denimdestroyedmylife 1,666,993]

ACHTUNG! this thread is closed.

reminder that religious (savior sex) and political discussion (kkk/blacks) are verboten on this board.

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any public outcry will be quashed and protestors will be silenced

have fun!*

*don't.