How often do you masturbate?

[Guest the BUTTMAN]

i am a chronic wanker.I have real fuckin problems.I pleasure myself everywhere...in the car ,while i am driving...in cinemas,and the movie has no sex scenes...

fuckin everywhere

my mom busted my 4 times...i was only 13.She said ''god is watching you, so dont do it again.He doesnt like boys doing this to themselves''

i had to put in deadlocks and alarms on my bedroom door

On a good month, i average 3-4 times.

My record is 7...cant break the magical 8

[ChaseDizzy]

troll. go the fuck away.

[comaeternal]

your not entertaining anymore.

[Guest the BUTTMAN]

your not entertaining anymore.

you are right.

I just created another username and negged myself

[branespload]

you are right.

I just created another username and negged myself

+rep (6)

trollchars

[geekbonchic]

you are right.

I just created another username and negged myself

Almost redeems you. Almost.

[mrip]

i jack off pretty frequently

ok threak

you are now complete

[julzkind]

after i read your swingers thread....well, lets just say:

thank you.

[Guest the BUTTMAN]

after i read your swingers thread....well, lets just say:u

thank you.

julz,women have much more fun...vegetables,fruits,kitchen utensils,beer bottles etc

but then again...i have my large collection of buttplugs

[TransparentCranium]

You need to step in up a notch, no more copypasta.

[mrip]

yo fuck 4chan

dat shit was barely cool in 2005

[Seething Tortoise]

haha! 4chan!

wow! are we gonna start rick rolling pp?

No, it never was or will be funny.

[Ahlvahroe]

i remember this coming up before

http://www.superfuture.com/supertalk/showthread.php?t=32834

[salaami]

pussy. try it, you might like it.

[dismalfuture]

I only jack off about 5 times a day, because it takes me awhile to gather up all my Ann D and Rick Owens to form a silken asymmetrical bed, find my lucky hollowed-out Care Bear, and log into stylezeitgeist's WAYWT, and then clean up after myself.

[weidna]

you ever feel uncomfortable knowing that you could probably give a better hand job than most women out there, excluding hookers and cheap strippers?

[dismalfuture]

I don't blame them for it, shit, that is one of those things where you just receive and appreciate, and if they're yanking too hard, you let em know kindly. Everyone gets an E for effort.

On that same note, I bet gay dudes think they're the shit when it comes t giving head, with the home team advantage and all, but I can't imagine anything beating the mouth of a nubile underage girl and a strong little tongue, and the determination to succeed.

[Seething Tortoise]

you ever feel uncomfortable knowing that you could probably give a better hand job than most women out there, excluding hookers and cheap strippers?

I didn't until now.

Thanks for that.

[dismalfuture]

^ you need more Vietnamese coffee shops in your life.

[fang]

i'm masturbating right now

[dismalfuture]

Your sig makes me believe you are a Bay Area pinoy. The fact that you are jacking off to superfuture does not surprise me.

[weidna]

I don't blame them for it, shit, that is one of those things where you just receive and appreciate, and if they're yanking too hard, you let em know kindly. Everyone gets an E for effort.

On that same note, I bet gay dudes think they're the shit when it comes t giving head, with the home team advantage and all, but I can't imagine anything beating the mouth of a nubile underage girl and a strong little tongue, and the determination to succeed.

LAWL5678910

[DüM]

I'm pretty sure Vice had an experiment with a gloryhole and a guy and a chick giving a dude head.

I think the girl won.

[Guest the BUTTMAN]

tried sucking my own cock...

again.....................unsuccessfully....fuck,fuck,fuck

[powerviolence]

dude I masturbate like 3 times at least a day

wtf

wtf

[levon777]

tried sucking my own cock...

again.....................unsuccessfully....fuck,fuck,fuck

try removing couple of ribs, then it might work.

[Guest the BUTTMAN]

try removing couple of ribs, then it might work.

i am ahead of u buddy

i am ribless...

i now have to wear a plastic brace to protect my thoracic organs

[dismalfuture]

I'm pretty sure Vice had an experiment with a gloryhole and a guy and a chick giving a dude head.

I think the girl won.

This is seriously the only time I will ever truly, from the bottom of my heart, trust a woman. That look they give you when they're giving it their best, with their mouth full of trouser snake, while you just sit there and think 'hee hee, I'm about to go Jackson Pollack up on her grill' ..... that is a woman's true heart, they are innocent eyes.

She is down there trying to suck the stones through the straw, and she selflessly doesn't mention that thing that has been bugging her about her folks chipping in on the down payment for the house and how yours couldn't because they took a vacation to Cancun instead, or how she has been working a bit more this week and still has been coming home doing the cooking and chores and you're on sufu furtively flipping between the CWG thread and the superdenim windows as she's the vacuuming the hallway in front of the computer room doorway. Love your women. Spray them with your best, because this is what they want. Those longing, blank eyes, they are begging for the downpour.

[salaryman]

That is gospel Dismal.

Even when I've gotten bad head I always take a moment of silence to appreciate the girl's effort for just going at it.

edit: grammar didn't make sense before.

[plongin]

once i was getting terrible head, with teeth and all that jazz, and i was trying to hard to enjoy it cause I didn't want the chick to feel bad, and I was really trying to enjoy it, and I farted.