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this bitch i was fuckin with and then she broke my heart thread

dismalfuture

By dismalfuture
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dismalfuture

dismalfuture

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For the record, my heart is mended. I intended for this thread to be where we rally together and push sidneylo and chronoaug and all those other broken hearted sufuer's as they come down the home stretch, passing the silly self-imposed celibacy and punishment games phase, making a quick bypass around the answerless questions wasteland, and closer to the finish line, where new, better women are waiting. (0)

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pig

pig

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I dated this one gangster bitch 4 years ago. this chick had the most incredible body for an asian. about 5'8 with a huge rack, and thick booty, think beyonce but less extreme in the ass. we only dated for a week, and unfortunately she was on her rag that week so all i got was some nut busting oral therapy. anyways, she cancelled on one of our dates that next week and I didn't bother calling her back. thought because of the head giving and the way she acted that she'd be crawling back like they all do but she never did. my pride stopped me from calling her early on and eventually it was too late to call at all. A year later I ran into her and she was dating some steroid popping flip guido thug. she still had that pretty face but she lost all the meat in that ass and her boobies looked like they dropped a couple sizes. still hot but dammnit, so much hotter before. broke my heart seeing her lose them assets. bitch if you're reading this, i love you bitch, and I got this box of krispy kreme to get that ass back into fighting shape.

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Guest winq

Guest winq

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i ignore my ex. she's been trying to contact me for the past 3 months. was hella depressed for a long time because of her now i don't want none of dat!

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salaryman

salaryman

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tips for forgetting that one broad:

1) Force yourself to masturbate until your hand and dick hurt (pain transferrence)

2) Destroy shit, like her reputation, my little pony collection, or mailbox. Rage.

subtips: sign her email address up to recieve all forms of porn spam. continue for days, weeks, months at a time. hilarity ensues.

3) Try railing an animal, and realize "hey, maybe female genitals aren't all they're cracked up to be."

4) even if you don't feel like it, bang as many other broads as you can for 1 month straight, if not cured, repeat from step 1.

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dismalfuture

dismalfuture

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Post breakup survival kit, spring '08 spec:

Prepare the following:

-1X Aretha Franklin greatest hits collection, or if you can be humored, A Grand Don't Come for Free CDs

-1X Ernest Julio & Gallo

-1X packet of Marlboro Reds, along with that one ashtray you got awhile back that you will finally get to use

-1X-50X (depending on how fast you heal) junk food/convenience food item(s) of your choice* - ramen, macaroni and cheese, frozen food items work well here. If they have significant waste/packaging that looks really pathetic that your exgf may have a chance to see, even better for that 'pity me' phase you will go through.

-1X Clean hooded sweatshirt, with thick wristband ribbing for absorbing tears with a quick swipe

to do:

-turn off cell phone for 1 or more days

-let Aretha calm your soul, whilst indulging in your cheap wine and cigarettes

-sustain yourself on pitiful food, and then have a moment of awakening when you realize how badly you're doing, and vow to return to health. * don't load yourself up on sodium and MSG and depress yourself. The main idea is to just eat food not normally fit for humans that you will bounce back from.

-Spend your rainy weekends and afternoons doing the above, and start clearing the infection.

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dismalfuture

dismalfuture

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Real post-breakup tip of the day:

As much as you are likely to hang out with your single guy friends more often now that you don't have a girlfriend, so that you can comiserate over your unfavorable love lives together, don't do this unless you really are swearig celibacy and want to purposely guarantee that no woman will ever want you again. I'm serious. Girls can smell Xbox, delivery pizza, and Natural Light on you from a mile away and have no interest in any part of that, and you will die alone, maybe alone on the internet.

Unless you are willing to invest the time into admitting that you're naive and stupid, and are willing to invest the time and tears into a quest to discover the true meaning of love in the wake of destruction, you're better off closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Remind yourself of all those times you'd be with your ex-girlfriend and see a fit piece of trim walk by smiling at you and be pained that you weren't pounding that, and tell yourself that now is where when you can make up for lost time, and you go out and ride that out til you get bored of it.

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sidneylo

sidneylo

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shes moving to new york.

shes going to the New School.

Sorry to hear that man.

In other news, I guess I'm moving back to New York sooner than I thought…

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JackPhotography

JackPhotography

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Some thoughts on the aftermath of my recent break up.

the bar scene is dead. im not going to clubs to pick up women

all the girls at my uni are corny white ones in sororities

im too old for myspace and facebook hook ups

house parties are full of 1 girl to 5 guy ratios

BOTTOM LINE: I'm not going to get laid for a long time :(

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lestat

lestat

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umm soo she was my first girlfriend, thought we were going pretty well at first. then one night i went to her house, and end up dumping me outta no where. and before i knew it she got with my friend. only lasted 2 weeks! fuuuuuck

its only 2 weeks...no biggie find another chick to fuck

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dolly

dolly

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Some thoughts on the aftermath of my recent break up.

the bar scene is dead. im not going to clubs to pick up women

all the girls at my uni are corny white ones in sororities

im too old for myspace and facebook hook ups

house parties are full of 1 girl to 5 guy ratios

BOTTOM LINE: I'm not going to get laid for a long time :(

why would you go to clubs to pick up women???

badddd scene. ick!

the best way is the most unexpected, like in line at the grocery, or book stores apparently (one of my brothers swears by this...)

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