Pre-emptive crushin' on a white girl threak

[dismalfuture]

Where I am going to school next year, there exists only white girls, and more white girls. I am complicit with white girls lately anyway, but I need to prep accordingly as my white people game is rusty; Asian guys who run game on white girls with success (yeah right, do you even exist?), what kind of monologues do you run by yourself pre-game? Any good openers, topics to cover, to avoid? I'm talking corny white girls here. Mad corny.

[selective beef]

Must Achieve Asian American Dream!

One time I was at a coffee shop and saw an asian dude with this mega cute white chick. Suddenly his asian homie met up with him with also a cute white chick. Then I saw this white guy that was with an asian girl looking at these two awesome couples with the most confused look ever. They do exist!

[djrajio]

Ask Fablouz! He getz mad White bitches all the timez with dem Cloakz n' Dior Hommmezzzz!

LIVE THE LIFE + LIVE THE DREAM

[selective beef]

Ask Fablouz! He getz mad White bitches all the timez with dem Cloakz n' Dior Hommmezzzz!

LIVE THE LIFE + LIVE THE DREAM

Don't forget raymond chiu! I heard dey love da julius!

[Liberation1945]

i dont know what you look like, but from my experience white girls like anything out of the norm...i am too drunk/coked up to expand, but i will spread some knowledge tomorrow or something.

[Fookums]

According to my [asian] friend going to college down south, there're mad white girls with asian fetishes. Fuckin weird but true. I gotta check that out some day.

[goldengloves]

Lib actually just answered the question without even knowing it...

...In other words. Give them booze and coke. Treat them like shit afterwards. Then wait for the magic.

[dismalfuture]

Yo I'm like (8) on this thread.

I am stumped. I am seriously enough of a wanker to put on the accent thick and talk about the summer program I took at Eton after middle school. Corny white girls don't even fucking know the difference between Australia and England anyway. I use the 'let's talk about your backpacking trips and you you you' angle too much.

Old college student me, I'd just get pissed on a given weekday and come out and drive with my windows down and go "OWWWWWWWW" out my window at whoever I'd see walking on the sidewalk. I did not cop DUI's, but I am copping a new B.A.L.L.A. car that doesn't work with that so much, so I need something new.

My Asian girl game is so fucking solid, but honestly, I'm completely dead inside with white girls. The instant I sense that a white girl is not appreciating my Asian male beauty my game just gets shredded and I turn into nondescript Asam CS major out to lose. Fuck that.

[dismalfuture]

i dont know what you look like, but from my experience white girls like anything out of the norm...i am too drunk/coked up to expand, but i will spread some knowledge tomorrow or something.

I look like this (9):

From my experience, Korean girls and Korean cab drivers love me. Also Korean moms by default. White girls don't seem to get it.

[goldengloves]

That dude's hair cut is steezy. I wish I had fucking hair like that...

[Liberation1945]

i used to get love from mostly older korean womenz, but now they look at me like i'm digusting....

=(

[dismalfuture]

Honestly, I am not even attracted to white girls. I would rather have 1 solid gyaru with nice hair and stee picked up on an Omotesando Saturday afternoon than a carload of ROYALEFATALE's DLSR girl x 4. Coke and whiskey I can provide, but yeah, I am just trying to adjust to my environs here and maybe get some white girl character facets I need for this book I'm writing.

Plus I need to turn over these decades of lameness and shame my asian american brothers have polluted society with and prove that Asian guys can lay pipe and still look beautiful whilst.

[goldengloves]

Serious: You wont have any trouble man. There's probably some down to earth Aussie chicks who are down for the cause.

[dismalfuture]

Libby, I see you doing Seoul big. Probably a bracket of 18-20 year old pseudo-JP rocker type girls, brown dyed hair, kinda faux Daikanyama'ish stee types would be on you. Tats are kinda hot right now over there, so you get plus points. Music you will have to forgive them on. Over that age, you know how money makes them horny. Too skinny = poor, for Korean girls.

[djrajio]

Holy shit ur hot dis. Fuck, steezy hair man. White girls will love it if you go for the rugged look.

[dismalfuture]

Serious: You wont have any trouble man. There's probably some down to earth Aussie chicks who are down for the cause.

I'm not making my repatriation move for a bit longer, I have to finish up another degree. I am talking corn-fed Midwestern girls here... really tough...

[goldengloves]

Holy shit ur hot dis. Fuck, steezy hair man. White girls will love it if you go for the rugged look.

Wait, so that really is Dis? Oh, I thought it was someone who just looks like him...

...but yea, that dude is handsome.

[Lab]

Yo I'm like (8) on this thread.

I am stumped. I am seriously enough of a wanker to put on the accent thick and talk about the summer program I took at Eton after middle school. Corny white girls don't even fucking know the difference between Australia and England anyway. I use the 'let's talk about your backpacking trips and you you you' angle too much.

Old college student me, I'd just get pissed on a given weekday and come out and drive with my windows down and go "OWWWWWWWW" out my window at whoever I'd see walking on the sidewalk. I did not cop DUI's, but I am copping a new B.A.L.L.A. car that doesn't work with that so much, so I need something new.

My Asian girl game is so fucking solid, but honestly, I'm completely dead inside with white girls. The instant I sense that a white girl is not appreciating my Asian male beauty my game just gets shredded and I turn into nondescript Asam CS major out to lose. Fuck that.

Most vanilla honies will orgasm (or pray to jesus) at the chance to show off their poorly-timed, rhythm-lacking bastardizations of crank dat lion king. once she starts rollin that S.I.M.B.A., pull out your vote obama sticker and slap that shit on her left titty. Make her feel all EMPOWERED about her gender's relevance. Rep 1919!!!!

don't mention hillary! her sexual desire is proportional to the number of famous black people you bring up in convo!

[djrajio]

But on the realz. You're going to have to tone down your GQ look for a more pedestrian/Abercrombie Fitch look man. Corny white girls love shopping at malls and buying Gap and Abercrombie, etc. Their idols are Britney spears, Avil L., etc. Assuming these ain't LA or NY sophisticated bitches. Just do it real simple and rugged and explain that you're well travelled man and that you love outdoor sports, like hiking, surfing, etc. White girls LOVE that shit. Also, tell em that you cook and are very spiritual. It shows you're a free-spirited, take-it-or-leave it, rebel, etc.,

[dismalfuture]

I don't have the ponytail mullet just yet. I'm kinda halfway there though.

I also get compared to this guy more than I like, I fucking hate him:

This guy is so shit. I was drinking with azn8oi in Apgujung and the bartenders gave me this free drink because they claimed I looked like guy #2.

[djrajio]

Wait, so that really is Dis? Oh, I thought it was someone who just looks like him...

...but yea, that dude is handsome.

Nah, its a famous Korean actor. But the hair is steezy as helll.........

[dismalfuture]

Most vanilla honies will orgasm (or pray to jesus) at the chance to show off their poorly-timed, rhythm-lacking bastardizations of crank dat lion king. once she starts rollin that S.I.M.B.A., pull out your vote obama sticker and slap that shit on her left titty. Make her feel all EMPOWERED about her gender's relevance. Rep 1919!!!!

don't mention hillary! her sexual desire is proportional to the number of famous black people you bring up in convo!

I was planning on playing up some causes on campus anyhow come August, I am gonna practice the 'sorry, I am busy saving the world' line, because my mate and I are scheming to come through on that shit for real in a little bit. I thought it was a cute approach.

But on the realz. You're going to have to tone down your GQ look for a more pedestrian/Abercrombie Fitch look man. Corny white girls love shopping at malls and buying Gap and Abercrombie, etc. Their idols are Britney spears, Avil L., etc. Assuming these ain't LA or NY sophisticated bitches. Just do it real simple and rugged and explain that you're well travelled man and that you love outdoor sports, like hiking, surfing, etc. White girls LOVE that shit. Also, tell em that you cook and are very spiritual. It shows you're a free-spirited, take-it-or-leave it, rebel, etc.,

I dress pretty shit at school. I started college when MilSpex was relevant and we had crimp perms and earrings, and wore tech parkas and Timberlands and those Gap slim chinos. I am not gonna pull a Talented Hedior on campus, don't worry. The ESL sector they put on the far corner of campus anyway, close to the mosque and Chinese restaurant.

I was being dramatic up above and could probably go for DSLR girl if given the situation, but honestly I don't know how to deal with small-time girls without making them feel shitty. My own mother accuses me of being too pretentious.

Honestly, I can pull Asian girls and have them back out the door within like 6 hours, but white girls I'm terrified of now, I want them in and out so I can live my life.

[dismalfuture]

I have one of those Eames plywood chairs, is that enough to get a white girl to come home with me?

[dismalfuture]

black girls like me, so that is not an issue at this point in time. Latino girls, I will address in pre-emptive latino girl crushin threak, watch this space.

[Lab]

I was planning on playing up some causes on campus anyhow come August, I am gonna practice the 'sorry, I am busy saving the world' line, because my mate and I are scheming to come through on that shit for real in a little bit. I thought it was a cute approach.

I dress pretty shit at school. I started college when MilSpex was relevant and we had crimp perms and earrings, and wore tech parkas and Timberlands and those Gap slim chinos. I am not gonna pull a Talented Hedior on campus, don't worry. The ESL sector they put on the far corner of campus anyway, close to the mosque and Chinese restaurant.

I was being dramatic up above and could probably go for DSLR girl if given the situation, but honestly I don't know how to deal with small-time girls without making them feel shitty. My own mother accuses me of being too pretentious.

Honestly, I can pull Asian girls and have them back out the door within like 6 hours, but white girls I'm terrified of now, I want them in and out so I can live my life.

GET IN

GET OUT

GET ON WIT YO LIFE.

NIGGA, THAT'S THE CHILIS SLOGAN. YOU WANNA SPICE A WHITE GIRL? WELL HEAR THE ADVICE OF THIS CHUTNEY MASTER.

MAKE SURE YOU DONATE TO A CHARITY THAT INVOLVES THE FOLLOWING:

1) Africa

2) AIDS

3) Darfur

4) FEMALE CIRCUMCISION

5) JESUS

6) CANCER

[dismalfuture]

Good points. Confessional: I live off this inordinate amount of shares from an uncle's stint at a pharmaceuticals giant that profits daily from like 2 or 3 of the above, haha. My kid sister is at the Wynn as we speak probably pissing away her share.

The white girls I'm targeting would probably be down with a meal at Chili's and 15 minutes of passion on my Thai bed I copped from DWR. This is why I am so torn and disappointed.

[dismalfuture]

Would buying a Pista help my chances with whities?

[DüM]

I like when they have freckles on their tits.

not like ginger kid freckles but more spread out spots. like flat moles?

I don't know why...

[dismalfuture]

I like eyeglasses on blondes. Not like DLSR girls frames but like those regular non-collabo Taihachirous. No glasses = I'll pass, proper frames = we will be married 65 happy years and spend lots of time at the public library in retirement as that odd interracial couple.

[mrip]

Would buying a Pista help my chances with whities?

it would work on the AA legging hipsters

not the AF UGGS wearing cornsters