today's news

[thejimbo]

Police hunt thong bandits

Police are hunting two robbers who failed to grasp a fundamental rule of crime - mask your identity.

Rather than ensuring their faces were covered, the dozy duo opted for a more fashionable but less effective disguise.

CCTV cameras caught them at a Colorado convenience store wearing thongs over their faces.

The ladies' underwear, which leaves little to the imagination, was a far from sensible choice.

One wore a green thong while the other opted for blue - but the pair's nose, mouth and chin were barely covered.

The rest of their face was clearly visible, police in Arvada say.

Officers also have a few more clues to work with as one of the men failed to cover up a distinctive tattoo on his arm.

Stolen cigarettes and cash they took from the on-duty worker were also stashed away in his pink backpack.

The men, believed to be in their 20s, were not armed.

[btbam]

Well about 5 minutes ago the new Iphone 3G was released.

[Chicken]

^ i guess it's time i sucked it up and bought one for myself.

that thong bandit story is amazing, btw.

[Chicken]

oh canada.

today:

They had sex WHERE?

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian couple who were caught having sex in a church confessional box while morning Mass was being said have repented and made peace with the local bishop.

The couple, in their early 30s, were detained by police earlier this month after they had made love in the confessional box in the cathedral in northern Cesena. They were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

Their lawyer said they had been drinking all night and realized they had gone too far.

The lawyer told the area's local newspaper on Wednesday the couple met with the local bishop on Tuesday night, asked for his forgiveness and that he had given it.

Last week the bishop celebrated a "Mass of reparation" in the cathedral where the confessional box incident took place to make up for the sacrilege.

[constant struggle]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Japan government will measure people's waists to see if they are over 33.5!

[DüM]

A pair of Bucks County, PA moms have been arrested after a sleepover involving six teenage boys turned into an orgy of sorts.

Angela Honeycutt, 38,

and Lynne Long, 45, received multiple charges after they acted inappropriately at a slumber party of boys ages 14 - 16, held at Long’s home in April. Honeycutt allegedly put on a “sex show†for the boys, dancing in front of them, showing them her tits, and then asking kids to touch them. She Frenched a bunch of them and then asked, “Who wants to take a shower?†She went into the bathroom and allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old while Long encouraged the other boys to listen at the door. Then Honeycutt performed unspecified sex acts on another 15-year-old boy.

Honeycutt has been charged with two felonies, including statutory sexual assault. Long has been charged with two misdemeanors of endangering the welfare of children and corruption of minors. Who’s the tulip who told on them all?

[hamburglar]

YES!!

CHICAGO - R. Kelly was acquitted of all charges Friday after less than a day of deliberations in his child pornography trial, ending a six-year ordeal for the R&B superstar.Kelly dabbed his face with a handkerchief and hugged each of his four attorneys after the verdict — not guilty on all 14 counts — was read. The Grammy award-winning singer had faced 15 years in prison if convicted.

Minutes later, surrounded by bodyguards, he left the courthouse without comment. Dozens of fans screamed and cheered as he climbed into a waiting SUV.

[Chicken]

i guess i have an asymmetric brain.

Gay Men, Straight Women Have Similar Brains

MONDAY, June 16 (HealthDay News) - MRI and PET scan studies are showing remarkable similarities between the brains of gay men and straight women, and between those of lesbians and straight men.

For example, the brains of straight men and of gay women share certain common features: both are slightly asymmetric, with the right hemisphere larger than the left, say the Swedish researchers.

On the other hand, the brains of gay men and straight women are both symmetrical.

[Chicken]

Romania village elects dead mayor

Romanian villagers have voted to re-elect a dead man as their mayor, to prevent his living rival winning.

Neculai Ivascu - who led Voinesti for almost two decades - died from a liver disease on Sunday, too late to cancel the contest.

The village's loyal residents still gave him 23 more votes than his rival, Gheorghe Dobrescu of the ruling National Liberal Party.

"I know he died, but I don't want change," one villager told Romanian TV.

In a controversial decision, the electoral commission declared the runner-up and rival Mr Dobrescu the winner.

Neculai Ivascu's party, the opposition Social Democrat Party, has said it will contest the decision.

Some villagers have also called for a fresh vote.

[wesc]

lul. dead mayor.. where do you get this stuff chicken i swear you get the oddest shizzzz. keep um comin ! makes my day at work go by faster.

[broneck]

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man was arrested on suspicion of kidnapping his ex-girlfriend from a pub, taking her home and forcing her to iron his clothes and wash the dishes, police said Monday.

The 43-year-old man dragged the woman out of a pub in the port city of Genoa, shoved her into a car and took her to his home where he made her iron and wash dishes after threatening her, they said.

Police arrived at his house after being tipped off by a friend of the woman who watched the scene at the pub.

The man, who was apparently furious at his ex-girlfriend for leaving him, was arrested on charges of kidnapping, police said.

lol .

[Bona Drag]

spot blown

http://music.msn.com/music/hotgossip/6-16-08_5?GT1=BUZZ1

[ProfMonnitoff]

please put a link and a quote its the best way of doing it thanks peace

[DaBestSpoona]

Japan's Booming Sex Niche: Elder Porn

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815509,00.html

[sushijerk]

Elder Porn

This is contrary to everything I know and love about Japan.

[DaBestSpoona]

I think the old guy's fit is SUFU approved

[sybaritical]

When a chimp has sex in the forest, will she make a sound?

Depends in part on who’s listening, literally, says a scientist who has spent months recording chimp sex sounds in the wild.With lots of other females within earshot, a female chimp typically doesn’t give a call, says Simon Townsend of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. With a largely male audience, though, she’s more likely to give what primatologists call copulation squeaks or screams.

The sounds of chimp sex

[sybaritical]

Woman marries Berlin wall.

"Like millions of sweethearts across the globe, Wall Winther has found true love. Her husband, in his prime, was a stalwart of immense stature, a domineering presence who was feared throughout his homeland and infamous the world over. Events haven’t been too kind to his physical state, but the couple’s love remains strong. You might think Wall Winther is lucky to be attached to such a celebrity, but it’s unlikely the couple will be gracing the cover of Hello! any time soon. That’s because Wall Winther’s other half is the Berlin Wall"

[Chicken]

^ "Events haven’t been too kind to his physical state, but the couple’s love remains strong."

what if the wall secretly hates her?

[jayrock]

hilariously nonsensical

[Chicken]

in another news, some guy is claiming coldplay stole his song:

eUhFLiw6h6s

what do you guys think?

[Bona Drag]

please put a link and a quote its the best way of doing it thanks peace

n!gg@ u layzee thx peace

[jcotteri]

could be true cotton

[lovethrust]

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/06/15/europe/italy.php

this is messed up. Italy is sending troops to patrol the streets. Troops who have been in Afghanistan and been shot at by people are now keeping watch over parts of Italian cities.

[cjbreed]

^^^thats ridiculous....

so is this:

Woman Sues Victoria's Secret Over Thong Injury

KTLA News

June 19, 2008, 10:50 AM PDT

CULVER CITY -- A Los Angeles woman is suing lingerie-maker Victoria's Secret, claiming she was injured by one of the company's defective thongs.

Macrida Patterson, 52, says she was attempting to try on the thong when a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the eye.

Patterson says Victoria's Secret is at fault for the injury she received last month because the product was "defective."

Patterson's attorney, Jason Buccat, chalked the problem up to a "design error."

The garment in question is called the "low-rise v-string" from the Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Thing line.

Patterson said the defective underwear caused her permanent corneal damage, and that she had to miss several days of work to get it treated.

Her attorney said the injury will affect Patterson for the rest of her life.

Victoria's Secret requested to examine the underwear that caused the injury, but Patterson's attorney denied the request.

[10(50)]

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html

As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason there's been such a spike in teen pregnancies in this Massachusetts fishing town. School officials started looking into the matter as early as October after an unusual number of girls began filing into the school clinic to find out if they were pregnant. By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, "some girls seemed more upset when they weren't pregnant than when they were," Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse. "We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.

[Guest]

"shaking his head"

[DüM]

that homeless guy is G.U.T.T.A.™ as fuck.

[Chicken]

Man auctioning his 'life' celebrates bidding

SYDNEY (AFP) — A middle-aged man who is auctioning his life over the Internet was Sunday celebrating as bidders fought over who would take his job, home and friends, as he seeks to start over again.

The British immigrant to Australia, who said the trigger for his bold offer was the break-up with his wife, had hoped he would attract a bid of 500,000 dollars (477,000 US).

Shortly after the seven-day auction began Sunday, a bid of 300,100 dollars for 44-year-old Ian Usher's Perth-based lifestyle was listed on the Internet auction site eBay.

By late afternoon, some 40 bids had been made with the highest offer at 650,000 dollars.

"I brought out the champagne at three o'clock when it passed the 400,000-dollar mark," Usher told the Australian news agency AAP.

"It's unbelievable that it's going up like this so early in the auction."

Usher has promised to introduce the winning bidder to his friends and hand over his 420,000-dollar house and his hobbies. The winner will also secure Usher's job as a rug store assistant for two weeks initially, but this could be extended depending on the store owner's agreement.

Usher will retain only his passport, wallet and the clothes on his back if the deal goes ahead.

He said he decided to start a new life after separating from his wife Laura just over two years ago, and selling all his worldly goods seemed like a logical step to take.

"The separation from my wife was the initial trigger for what I'm doing, especially living in the house that was built for the both of us and being surrounded by our furniture," he said.

"It's part of the moving on process. I guess this is the last step before making a fresh start."

Usher says he is as yet unsure as to what he will do once the auction ends.

[dismalfuture]

that homeless guy is G.U.T.T.A.â„¢ as fuck.

it was me. sorry guys.