Superderanged roomates

[ifeelasleep]

i suspect my roomate shits in the bathtub. he hasnt come home since i confronted him yesterday. he got really really aggressive/nervous when i brought it up.

du's twice my size, so i carry a knife when im at home. this is for real.

[breams]

http://supertalk.superfuture.com/index.php?showtopic=91760 (the NSFW Legendary Thread)

Does he frequent bodybuilding forums?

[Guest glasses]

i dont... get it

[BearCousin]

shit"s" in the bathtub as in he's done it multiple times? does he just pick it up by hand and place it in the toilet while he's chillin in the tub? or does he try to jam it down the drain? or does it just float around in there while he's bathing?

[ifeelasleep]

toilet/bathroom are separated, french tradition.

the signs were all there, i just never put things together because its such a fucked up thing.

*LONG POST INCOMING*

thursday evening i came back drunk, i went to sleep before midnight, i woke up to reset my alarm cause was going to help my friend (lets call him ben) paint his new place (he pays us with drinks, its cool). i heard some weird sounds coming from the bath, but i was like fuck it dudes probably jerking it, went to sleep.

woke up late on friday, i was going to paint/move stuff around so i didnt need to shower. before leaving i decide to brush my teeth, drink water cause my mouth is dry as fuck.

i go in there, bathroom smells awful, and theres a solid brown substance on one of the sides of the tub. i think about it, but it doesnt really enter my head.

could be something else, this dude has eaten pasta in the restroom, how do i know this? well one time i was back at 8 am and i almost cut my foot cause of a broken plate, and there was then a half eaten pasta plate, this asshole ate, broke his plate grabbed another one and reserved himself without cleaning up, i left the bathroom and reentered just to see if it was my hungover self playing tricks on me.

I briefly thought it might have been me cause i used to sleepwalk when i was a kid, and i pissed on a dude on a field trip. (it was sixth grade i had gotten stung by like 40 bees and i was sick, everyone thought he pissed himself, but i have a brief flash of me wanting to piss and me standing up pissing in a general direction). this time i have no shit memory flash.

so what do i do? i wasnt going to clean what looked suspiciously like dry shit. meatball texture, so i tried to keep that in mind. i left to help my homie ben out.

i didnt tell anyone, i figured i was coming home id confront him directly, if it was me he would flip out and text me/call me as soon as he woke up, no call.

i finish with the painting for the day, i went back home expecting to confront him, he wasnt there, unidentified brown object is not there so he cleaned it up, the color of that side of the tub is different.

I call him up, ask him what was in the tub, on the left side, he says he took a shower but didnt see anything. i told him it was next to chewed plastic bottle caps he forgot to clean up (dude chews bottle caps and sucks his thumb on occasion) he says he has no idea, i told him there a was a brown thing in the shower and he had to do was tell me what it was, if he ate he had to tell me what. told him there was no way he could miss it, he said he couldnt understand, that he was going to go to a party and that i was making him flip out, we would talk in the morning.

so i took my clothes to take a shower at the place where we were having our "apero". before i left i went back to the bathroom, the smell was mostly gone, but there were 2-3 tiny remains where the thing was. i grabbed a marker, drew three question signs with arrows pointing at the evidence. I told my friend that i might need help beating the shit out of this fool, (im superfuture size, this dude is not buff but he is like 1.90 tall) he asked me why, i couldnt say it, it was unspeakable, he thought he had hidden pictures of me sleeping or something, but i assured him it could be worse than that and that i would tell him when i confirmed it.

we went to a party at ben's gf's place, her roomate and her friends were there, fashion school bitches (xcept her roomate, cute, goes to audio engineering school/cool as fuck/ would wife) one of her fashion friends is into me, shes too skinny, but she he has a nice perky firm ass, yeah. you see the problem.

i couldnt fucking think about anything other than that, any attemps at flirtation/dancing were drowned by some JB whisky (im a student) and repeated "i cant tell you until i confirm it but is the most disgusting thing ever"

i spent the whole night thinking about probability of having showered for more than a year in a place that has been probably been shitted on more than once. what about baths man, i have taken baths, it was winter, i took a bunch. im usually pretty sociable, but i thought about shit more than it was possible, i was careful to not mention any of this to anyone.

come back home saturday afternoon, dude is not here but when i go in the restroom the evidence is gone. i left to help with the painting and i came back, dude was asleep on the couch, and as soon as i entered my room dude goes directly to his room. i sat in the living room until 3.am. to see if he would come out, he didnt.

came back into my room with my knife, sitting here at the moment. dude comes out as soon as lights are off to go piss.

More evidence, a bunch is circumstantial/conjecture you be the judge

-dude usually waits until i go to sleep to go in the shower, doesnt matter if its 10 pm - 4 am

-dude always takes baths, always, and they can go on as long as 3 hours, there has been times where he takes more than one bath during the day

-i rarely see him walk go in our toilet to take a shit, its a small apartment, should be a common thing

-the bathroom smells awful after his baths, i thought it was normal cause steam+body odor is a horrible mix.

-the bathtub got fucked up and it was blocked, when the water was on, this awful shitlike substance came up. i referred to it as dirt/grime, he referred to it as shit, and only used the word shit when describing it. proprietor thought i was trying to fuck with him when i called for a plumber, said the piping was redone and that normal use shouldnt block the tub for some more time. he fixed it somehow.

[ifeelasleep]

inevitable confrontation tomorrow, hes trying to avoid me thinking this might blow over, fuck no.

need ways to humiliate him, and i think im not telling anyone i normally come in contact with, xcept for ben and a couple others

Edited February 27, 2012 by ifeelasleep

[goodfella]

just murder this guy...................

[albinolove]

Edited February 27, 2012 by albinolove

[kH0yA Sw@Gp0o]

what in the holy fuck.

i'd heard from a friend of mine that at the first camp for my wave of exchange students that he was put into a room with another guy from the same country as him.

this guy was apparently working out (running back and forth in room, push ups and sit ups) at 3 am and then reading a bible by 6 am. or so i'd heard.

but your story... mine means nothing in comparison.

[breams]

Don't soak your raw denims in the tub (and move out).

[DaBestSpoona]

This is one of those situations where you can beat the living shit out of room mate, he'll call the cops, they show up, you explained what happened they turn around and give you greenlight for a second beating.

[scientifick]

and i thought my trashed apartment after 4 days of drinking was bad

[Phyziks]

The real question here is: What kind of grown man takes baths? Seriously? Maybe if you're an athelete and taking a steam bath, or bathing in epsom salts to relax the muscles. Actually soaking in a tub full of your own dirt for the purposes of getting clean though? Ludicrous. Maybe it's a French thing.

[DaBestSpoona]

never heard of onsen or bathhouses?

[FranklinCosgrove]

when hes gone, take a shit in his bed. then when he comes back and starts asking you about it, just say you dont know what hes talking about.

edit: or try and pretend that you have the same interest to get him to confess. "dude have you ever shit in the bathtub? i do it all the time...love that shit."

Edited February 27, 2012 by FranklinCosgrove

[junglejane]

you can also say something like "Oh man my friend told me about this one disgusting dude that shat in the tub, he developed a chronic skin condition and grew big warts on his junk"

honestly this goes beyond anything, ever

[zenii]

what you need to do is set up a hidden camera in your bath so you can get that shit on video and threaten to expose him if he ever gets chummy with you.

[Augustus]

[Phyziks]

What you really need is a new roommate. I have a friend who is moving out because it takes their roommate too long to take the garbage out. Shitting in the bath? GTFO immediately.

[mitcho]

never heard of onsen or bathhouses?

you're supposed clean yourself before you bathe in an onsen. du's point stands.

[DaBestSpoona]

you're supposed clean yourself before you bathe in an onsen. du's point stands.

He said what kind of grown man takes baths.

[BearCousin]

The real question here is: What kind of grown man takes baths?

shits awkward, just laying there in your own filth staring at your pecker..

[Augustus]

Literally took baths/showers where your roommate shits in. defriend him asap

[FranklinCosgrove]

explanations and possibilities?

Edited February 27, 2012 by FranklinCosgrove

[Ammutseba]

+1 for the hidden camera blackmail idea.

[fobsquad]

when hes gone, take a shit in his bed.

not a good idea.

in college my floormates and i did this to some guy after a week-long of pranks. needless to say it ended all future pranks and we got fined $350 each for property damage (school owns the mattress). the kid moved out and if i recall correctly transferred to another campus. and its not like he had even touched the poop

[Nov Spur]

$700 for a shitty dorm mattress? Usurious cunts.

[ifeelasleep]

cant move out and leave him the appartment, it was me that got it, its well placed and i dont want anyone to live with this dude ever again. im calling the agency to annul our contract, that leaves 3 months on it...

blackmail is a good idea, dont know where i would hide the camera, bathroom walls are all white.

help me find references/ideas for hidden tech.

dude hasn't come back home.

needless to say, i take showers at my friends and sisters places, i say theres something wrong with the piping at my house.

forever unclean...

Edited February 29, 2012 by ifeelasleep

[Leonard Leroy]

Ohmy god

[BearCousin]

this is my favorite thread on sufu