The Sage Advice Thread

[broneck]

This is the thread to post wise old man advice, proverbs, and bits of wisdom you've garnered over your years on this earth.

I'll get the ball rolling.

If you're ever considering buying a home, don't hire a real estate agent that is a friend, acquaintance, or (most importantly) a family member. This will cause you nothing but grief because, ultimately, you have to be willing to fire your real estate agent if he/she is fucking the dog.

Furthermore, if you're a home-owner and you're shopping around for an upgrade, make sure that you've a.) sold your current residence or b.) can afford to carry two mortgages before you put an unconditional offer in on another home.

[boy better know]

StuckOnStupid has adressed this before:

no drugs during the week unless you make more money than all your friends

[OkayOkay]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

[sawn-off chef]

Always trust your gut, never your head or heart, they'll be tempted but your gut just leads you proper.

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

try to have at least $2-5k saved up as a buffer against emergencies.

do not skimp on health insurance.

[Spastic_Koala]

http://goodadvice.tumblr.com

[po_boy_fuuma_hatesbargerz]

http://goodadvice.tumblr.com

more like #recycledquotes.tumblr.com

[Bigyen]

A young bull and and old bull are standing on the top of a hill; below them is a pasture full of beautiful cows.

The young bull gets really excited and points at this one cow, and he says to the old bull...

"Look at that amazingly gorgeous cow, lets run run down and fuck her!"

To which the old bull replies...

"Woah! Calm down. Lets walk down and fuck them all."

[jayrock]

try to have at least $2-5k saved up as a buffer against emergencies.

to go along with this:

a man should not be judged by his income, but rather his savings

[OkayOkay]

way true. Some of the most broke, saddest people I know make over 100k / year.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever

I made this one up, people seem to like it.

[Pavlov's Bell]

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for life.

'Tis a wise Indian that allows himself to follow a smart chief.

[Magsåvningsreserven]

^ I made those ones up too, glad you like them.

[Pavlov's Bell]

^ I made those ones up too, glad you like them.

My dad actually made the 2nd one up. He wrote a revised "10 commandments" chock full of Sage Advice like 25 years ago and that one always stuck out to me.

Oh, that and "A woman in love is equally as dangerous as a man in heat".

[OkayOkay]

honestly some of the best advice I've ever heard is from that Shit My Dad Says twitter feed.

[schmoses]

"b*itches ain't sh*t but h*es and tricks"

93-era DPG

[broneck]

man who go to sleep with itchy bum wake up with stinky finger

[cash]

Sitting in a bar with a friend who is about 10 years older than me. The stereotypical "gorgeous girl" walks in wearing something revealing. All the men in the bar stop and stare as she walks by. After the girl passes he deadpans, "There is a guy out there somewhere who is sick of her shit."

[broneck]

Wear condoms. AIDS is scary.

[tac0tron]

and unwanted pregnancy!

[OkayOkay]

on that tip (pun kind of intended), these are the best condoms I've found so far -

http://www.sirrichards.com/

[Vampyrvargfesten]

When you get a penny from a chum,

don't just buy some bubble gum

Put it in your cap

[goat]

You fuck around and catch a seizure or a heart-attack

You better back the fuck up

Before you get smacked the fuck up

[boy better know]

if you want a friend, get a dog

[blm14]

What is the best sage chicken recipe?

[joelz]

What is the best sage chicken recipe?

i love this but it's heavy as hell

http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/chicken_breasts_with_mushroom_sage_sauce/

[clover]

when lending money to family, consider it gone

[Chris-Craft]

NT2eOGZzRGI

bitches love smiley faces

[evisu 2000]

don't grumble be humble!!!!!!!!

[lisztomania]

a business life lesson:

a crow is just chillin in a tree all day.

a rabbit comes by and ask "can i sit here with you and do nothing?"

"sure, why not" the crow said

the rabbit sits down under the crow and relax.

a fox jumps out and eats the rabbit...

morale:

to sit and do nothing, you have to be pretty high up.