write a lil weezy verse in 10 easy steps!!

[cheep]

this shit is fun... and works.

How to Write a L'il Wayne Verse in 10 Easy Steps

1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. L'il Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." You can do metaphors but try to steer away from doing this too often, lest people think that you are a different ghost-writer. That is bad. Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.

3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent Dairy Queen-white music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).

4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.

5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.

6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these is ." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.

7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.

8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a ." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.

9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate white liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make white liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make wild ridiculous conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.

10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.

Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money. The Ghostwriting Hotlines are open now!

heres a couple of mine:

ok... lemme try

gotta bounce like a check

from these fake ass cats

thry hate cause im classic

like a fuckin fitted hat

slangin keys like a locksmith

weezy f baby, the hot shit

id be a rich *****

without a hot hit

my hustle is exquisite

like my fuckin wallet chain

when it come to the cops

im like hellen keller main

im the young money ceo

millionaire baby daddy

so high on that dro

i call baby daddy

your ho call me daddy

sprinkle on some powder

mouth numb from the fatty

bitches up on myspace sayin

"his dreads so natty"

ill put my sbs up your pussy, bitch

45 clip if you *****s wanna snitch

kill yo click like katrina

when god made it rain

greatest rapper alive

with the purp in my brain

weezy

fuckin

baby

hollygrove area,

i rep it every day

without rap id be hood rich

you know bout that yay

my rhymes, on time

blow that purple haze

its weezy fucking baby

i dont know what else to say

ok, all day

i see you *****s frontin

ill leave your kids home alone

like macally calkin

yeah ill leave you in a hole

while your wife im fuckin

give her that long stroke

while babys dick she suckin

well alright, im superfly

just like an eagle

you know i rule the sky

like a desert eagle

ill make you mans cry

my rhymes is like a hit of acid

i make your brain fry

young money cash money

we come destroy your town

like hurricane katrina

we keep the white, sell out the brown

you try!

[jubei]

ill leave your kids home alone

like macally calkin

lol, straight fire

[cheep]

should this have gone in supertrash?

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

That was definitely amusing, but right now I'm too busy watching episodes of Lets paint, exercise, and make blended drinks TV (see relevant Superculture thread) to give this a go.

You got the lyrics, but your bar structure is too east coast traditional, it doesn't draaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggg enough.

[cheep]

true... i cant really stand southern rappers... ill try harder next time.

[mizanation]

man, i ain't mad at lil wayne recently. he's been spittin fire these days. lawng drawn out fiyah.

the guide you posted only goes over his lyrical content, his delivery is what makes his shit work.

[cheep]

exactly... i like his mixtape stuff, but the radio shit sucks.

but really, as guru said "it mostly the voice"

the second one i tried to keep his flow in mind... but his flow changes from song to song so its tough. the first i just went point by point on the list there.

[Guest StuckOnStupid]

why is weezy catching so much hate? is it cause he kissed his dad on the lips?

shit i dunno man, i got the "Dedication part 2" tape with DJ Drama, and the "I Can't Feel My Face" tape with Santana...dude made me a believer....

Cover my tracks like butter so where the bread be

I say beef is dead meat, who that the president? yeah me

No one scare me, and you ain't gotta double dare me

Hear me loud and clearly rats aren't near me

wiretap niggaz get blood in they earpiece

I'm from New Orleans nowhere near peace

Pure Beast, Fear Free, Dear Grief

Catch up bitch I'm in gear three

zoom gone, see ya peace drop one finger

Fuck 'em and whoever made 'em

I will hurt whoever love 'em cause I hate 'em

Lookin' for a lady, high and sedated

Got her to the pad, I 'on't know how a nigga made it

She gave me relations, so now we related

The morning comes, the picture faded

Awaited on my turn to burn, can I get a light

Little dog, bigger bite, Jackson Five, Little Mike

Can I get a mic or a mic and a half

That's Source homie, shout out to the editing staff

I'm all grown, so much better with math

I need a spread in the Forbes takin a Benjamin bath yeah

I'm servin' this track like, Steffi Graph yeah

Roger Federer, there's no competitors

Niggaz know my rhetorhic, bitches know my preference

Young God baby, all them other niggaz reverends

Sittin in my big house surrounded by my weaponries

I keep them away like I got leprosy

Chopper right next to me loaded up wit pepper seeds

Got an extra clip but that's only for my especiallies

(Dramatic, Dramatic) This is especially for you

Disrespect a nigga game what kinda referee is you

Swallow it slow, make a nigga ride wit the pistols

Cuzz the fakest niggaz ride wit the pistols

Even if I die old, I'ma die with the pistols

And if you stand over my body I'll probalie kill ya

Yeah, now I feel it, Weezy the realest

I wear a lot of Bathing Ape cuzz I be wit gorillas

He what they talkin bout topic of the conversation

product of determination

stop playin you are not up in my situation

I get money like a caucasian, the car red so the car cajun

Stop hatin, y'all ballers I'ma sports agent

Wait a minute lemme translate it, It's

Weezy not the father motherfuckin Baby

that is fuckin rooted, seasoned MC shit right there...homeboy is killin em.

[cheep]

yeah... thats dope. i have his lil weezyanna tape... famous is one of my favorite hip hop songs from the past 5 years.

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

Wayne's good....but he's not fuckin with BG.

And the Drought III is a bit of a dissapointment. Still some hot tracks, but he sounds a lil too much like a muppet on methamphetamine.

[cheep]

can you sound too much like a muppet on meth?

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

can you sound too much like a muppet on meth?

That was what I wondered after the first few tracks.

I was all like: "awwww He kinda cute. Maybe I takes him home, feeds him speed, and press 'record'" But by the end of the second disc, the answer was clear.

Yes.

[sean_]

stuckonstupid you gotta get the drought 3 mixtape.. its fucking retarded

i got them 24 inches sittin on them joe buddens

in the trunk straight jumpin bitch i cant hear nothin

hoe i might do the spurs, sittin on them tim duncans

and in the lamborghini i do donuts like dunkin

how come every bad bitch with a pussy wanna fuck im

but i just feed em drugs and just watch em fuck each other

my neck was a hundred and my wrist was another

it make her pussy wet i leave that bitch with a puddle

im a beast im a dog i should rap with a muzzle

payton manning flow i just go no huddle

baby girl gettin straight dick no cuddle

you know im out this world, i just bought a space shuttle

ima put some d's on that bitch

...

i break a bitch down like tanya harding

over throw some ds... and he flows over this is why im hot... and if i ruled the world (get high rule the world) which is fantastic, "i bring all... my... guns, shoot mothers fathers babies, damn"

yeah great tape

damn you guys are fast, i still havent listened to disc 2, after rbw's post i dont know if i will

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

damn you guys are fast, i still havent listened to disc 2, after rbw's post i dont know if i will

You still should. It's got some good tracks. Combine the good from one and two and you've got a solid tape.

[onemancult]

I can't ever hate on Lil Wayne after his solid mixtape output within the past few years, and for 'Georgia...Bush', especially the first verse. He ruined Ludacris' attempt to cash in on that sample, and ruined every other MC trying to rap about Katrina. Sorry Mos Def.

His voice on that track transcends any jokes anyone could ever make about him sounding like a crack baby muppet, he just sounds like some sort of demon rising out of the bayou. Fuck. I get chills just reading the lyrics.

[Larry Bird]

lil wayne goes hard...i love the slllooooooooww stuff.

[__Nicholas]

damn cheep, that was fire. very entertaining!

[cheep]

ok... i tried again... loooong and drawn out this time... i think this is pretty good.... fuck... i should start writing shit

when you hear me then you know that im the greatest one who ever done it

keep it hot and take it back like im a fucking eazy bake oven

i know you love it cause all you do is talk about it

this rap games like a stoplight, you know young money run it

im not a lyricyst, dont write, im a rappercyst

fuck around, seperate your soul and body like an exercist

im fuckin model chicks, fuck your friend bitch

im mean ill take a model and her friend like a sandwich

sniff an oz, sit around, ill still make a grand man

fuck with me, yall dreamin like a visit fromthe sandman

balls touch the floor caus yall hanging like a hangman

yeah you seen me kiss my daddy, call me homo, you the fag man

in the bent im runnin thru your city like a marathon

fuck with me, ill bomb your hood like osama did the pentagon

im taking over the world like motherfucking ghengis kahn

and bustin off in your girl like the magnums on

got my magnum in my belt but i never pull it less i need to use it

if i pull it then you family gonna hear the music

you know its weezy baby, say the f so you cant confuse it

i never had a mind, so i know ill never lose it.

[doctorgnar]

http://downloads.pitchforkmedia.com/Lil%20Wayne%20-%20Seat%20Down%20Low.mp3

(Pardon the Pitchfork.)

[cheep]

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EHO8SCQ0

drought 3 mixtape download

[chizzua]

if i was a rapper.. i would hate weezy. he just takes everybody's tracks and goes harder than the original. sometimes i can't tell if i hate a weezy line or i love it. but his new single is much better than his others(stuntin' like my daddy)

6OOqiL2EqiA

obviously, he wakes up in the morning. takes a piss. and washes his hands.

i guess he had to show the world he's sanitary?

[cheep]

on the way to the skatepark yesterday i realised why i like wayne so much right now... hes bringing it like a dancehall deejay...

its like this... in jamaica you dont have to worry about beat selection because everyone has the same tracks... so you have to stand out lyricly and vocally. id like to see the same thing happen here actually... make artists rely less on hot beats and show who really stands out.

[RAISED BY WOLVES]

on the way to the skatepark yesterday i realised why i like wayne so much right now... hes bringing it like a dancehall deejay...

its like this... in jamaica you dont have to worry about beat selection because everyone has the same tracks... so you have to stand out lyricly and vocally. id like to see the same thing happen here actually... make artists rely less on hot beats and show who really stands out.

Listen to more Grime.

[Brooklyn Zoo]

did anyone catch his freestyle on rapcity or some other generic BET countdown show, he threw a red bandana over the mic, and proceeded to kill it while keeping a steady grip on his styrofoam cup filled with who knows what...it's a shame it was just recently takin off youtube, but a highlight from the verse:

i'ma sail to the ocean

money's the sail to my float

and it's goin down, its goin down like there's a well in the boat

[__3xL]

cheep that was pretty live man .

the 10 steps works - now you can stop doing the Burger King porn homie !!!